Ten Seconds Dead

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About Jonathan Footerman

English, unmarried, born 1953 and classically privately educated, independently minded and "difficult", Jonathan Footerman left home and school at 17. Chartered Accountant and IT specialist with KPMG, he went to France in 1985 with Gillette and fully absorbed language and culture. Latterly a trouble-shooting CFO in French subsidiaries, he gave it up in 2008 (too unhealthy), began to write, learnt to sail, went solo around the UK in a 21 ft boat in 2010, and now needs a publisher for a sailing book, a novel and a collection of short stories from the High Savoy.

Comments

  1. @ 13 I was hit by a car & had my 1st out if body experience, looked down at my body and the cop standing over me and somehow zipped back into my corporeal presence. I was gone long enough for a cop to show up…

    • TonyHitchnz says:

      Yeahp. Almost identical to mine. Went over handlebars. Was doing over 50mile an hour (70 or 80km/h) on rear wheel when lady pulled out in front. Got front wheel down just in time to hit the front of her car. Flipped five or six times. Friend says eight or nine. First flip, thought “I can land this”. Second flip “uhmm”. Third flip came and I just relaxed and shut my eyes. No way anyone was going to control this anymore! As fast as you can say “ground sky gorund sky ground sky” out loud is as fast as it was going. Hit head first, then back, then legs came down like a slingshot. “Oooppph” is about as close as I can verbalise that feeling. ALL your breath is knocked out. EVERY joint in your body has just gone from 70 to zero in 0.00001 against concrete road. Apart from your legs. Which probably were doing twice the speed due to rag doll effect.

      Second out of body “death” of mine actually. Similar experiences. Totally the same as above post. But, no cop. AMBULANCE. I was looking at myself and a old lady with an umbrella and the top of an Ambulance. When I got back into my body I stood up almost instantly (I’m good like that) and was surprised to see the bottom of my foot looking up at me from where it held itself, relatively painlessly, next to my hip!

      The lady with the umbrella disappeared and an old gent arrived, just as I fell over again. He held my leg in a certain way whilst the ambulance people scurried about us. By the time they convinced him to let go and let me move I could stand and take weight on my leg again.

      He was some sort of World War 2 medic. Never saw him again, sadly, as he walked slowly off with a polite bow to catch a bus. I got on the back of my friends motorbike and to this day have a lump the size of a squash ball where my glute apparently got ripped from the hip. Some people think I have a super muscle bum! Not recommended.

      Luckily my accident was right outside a motorbike shop and they had all heard the noise my highly tuned two stroke made as I came around a sweeping corner on the rear wheel. They gave me $500 for the motor on the spot and the insurance for the lady who pulled out in front gave $2500 later.

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