Theresa Byrne asks you to ditch a yearly goals or to do list, and add a “To Be” list?
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The fun thing about being a grown up is that we get to make up our own rules.
While I’ve spent a lot of time in the past creating lists of goals, business objectives, outcomes, and plans then uncreating things that didn’t work; and planning resolutions for the new year (usually based on what did/didn’t work the year(s) before); now I’m converting.
I’m creating my “To Be” List.
No matter what time of the year, I think in terms of intentions or creations we can bring into our lives. I like vision boards to keep the emotions present. But what if, instead of a list of to-do’s, we had “to-be’s”? (This idea came as a gift today from my friend and success coach, Chris Natzke. I have amazing friends.)
I have to admit that for my brain to do her best work I must use daily or weekly to-do lists for my tasks, they help me stay on track and keep my intentions present. In cognitive retraining therapy we are taught the importance of using lists instead of valuable (and limited) brain storage space for tasks that can easily be written down. I also enjoy setting up practices and boundaries to keep me consistent in how I spend my energy and time. Otherwise I know myself well enough to know–I can fall prey to randomness (losing hours of time doing nothing).
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What would be on your list? What would you want to fill your list? What would you want to fill up your life?
“Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Shakespeare
I’m in a monthly business owner’s circle with others who live from an operating system of Clarity, keeping your energy positive and your “lights on.” Today I had the pleasure of observing one of the men I greatly admire say, “I’m hearing all these people around me filled with hope and excitement in the new year. Usually it’s full of ‘last year sucked, hope this year isn’t more of the same’ but i’m seeing something different this year. I’m seeing optimism.” This is unusual for him, and the first time he’d noticed it. The cool part was it was he who had changed, it was he who glowed with an optimistic outlook. And his world was reflecting it right back to him. He was BEING optimistic.
“It’s Mirror Experience. Who we attract or bring in is a mirror of something we are or could be something we don’t like about ourselves. Learning to accept or learn from this can make all the difference.” –Eric Graham
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At a dinner the other night, I listened with rapt attention as renowned serial entrepreneur and ultra internet marketing leader Eric Graham said (paraphrase): “It’s Mirror Experience. Who we attract or bring in is a mirror of something we are or could be something we don’t like about ourselves. Learning to accept or learn from this can make all the difference.” BAM. I think I may have even taken notes.
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Creating a To Be (or Not-To-Be) List could include all the things or experiences you want to bring into your life over the next ________(fill in the blank) time period. Or mirror things you want (or don’t want). From that place, inspired actions can happen.
In the vein of total honesty, I needed this list. I’m creating it for myself. I was searching The Good Men Project for something to focus my attention on the good stuff and to keep me positive. Then this idea was born. Since I’m a loud advocate and believer in boundaries, I create self-practices that keep me on track in my Not-To-Be list.
To Be List:
Look for joy. See the world with wonder. See the wonderful qualities in others.
And be present to it consciously.
Adventurous around things that seem scary. Or new. That way if I mess up it’s all in the name of the experience.
Content. Enjoy the simplicity.
Self-Compassionate.
Remember to trust in the things I can’t see: have faith before fear. I’m on track and it’s all a part of the grand plan.
Enamored with the miracles and synchronicities around me.
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Not-To-Be List:
Judgemental. Remember that everyone, including me, is the doing the best we can with what we know up til now. No one does well under judgment.
Impatient. When I feel the impatience start to build up I will start to breathe deeply or do an EFT practice.
Distracted. Limit doing more than one to two big things at a time. I know I have only 100% attention possible, and each thing I do takes a percentage of my energy and attention. I won’t attempt to overload my system (and brain) with too many things at once.
Don’t let myself get overwhelmed. I will limit my commitments. I won’t overcommit; I’ll keep the practice of getting comfortable saying “no” to things that don’t fit into my schedule or
Stopped by my own self-limitations. Keep a practice for the head gremlins, boundaries limiting their voices.
Late. Set timers.
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This is my list. What’s on yours? What bugs you about yourself or do you wish you had more of in your life? I’m sure as the year continues, I’ll be added or subtracting from my lists. But these are my starting points. I’d love to know what you put on your lists, if you’re open to sharing.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock