[This was written in response to Tom Matlack’s article, Dad Uses .45 to Shoot Daughter’s Laptop over Facebook.]
1) Have we lost our way so profoundly as fathers that a guy putting bullet holes in his daughter’s property is symbolic of what we are all not doing?
If this is what symbolizes what is absent in parenting then I fear the future of parent-child communication and relationship. A return to control-based, punishment oriented, patriarchal family systems is not what we should be lamenting. We’ve been there and done that. Fathers who controlled their families at the expense of having right relationship with their children – who were feared leaders left isolated from the mutual affection, love and ease of interaction that we know is possible. One does not have to demand respect through fear, maintain leadership by crushing opposition, or convince oneself that iron fisted authority is an expression of love. There are many examples of fathers who garner respect and obedience from their children through authoritative rather than coercive parenting. These are not laissez faire, “hippy”, disengaged parents who abdicate responsibility for limit setting and leadership. But they achieve the balance of raising healthy and capable children while still having their love and respect as they reach adulthood. Though I believe there are many examples of these fathers today I know for sure that they exist because I am married to one of them. Our now 16 and 19 year old children love him and they respect him and themselves.
2) Do you think there is some kind of gender abuse here with a male father using his gun to punish his female daughter?
Yes, in several ways. He talks about his threat in the past to be “shoot” her computer if she repeats a similar infraction. If we changed this scenario and said that a man told a woman he would shoot her property if she did something he didn’t like again we would be appalled by the misogyny. Because he is her father this is even remotely acceptable? He was destructive to valued personal property because she behaved in a way he disliked. Wow. What a message I would want to make sure my daughter never received, especially from the most important male relationship and role model in her life – her father. That he then uses a bullet “for your mother” shows an abdication of responsibility by the mother and a system of roles that is most concerning. The fact that it’s a gun isn’t centrally an issue to me – it’s the abuse of power that stands the hair on my arms.
3) Does anyone know if the kid’s laptop was ever replaced or needed for school?
It wasn’t replaced. If you see the father’s FB page he does admit this was not his finest moment but he does not regret it at all and feels that local law enforcement supported his actions. If the father didn’t want the daughter to have the computer, or to put time or money into upgrading it then he should have refused and had her live with his decision. A gift, once given – of time or material things – is to be given freely and not as a bargaining tool or one that expects ongoing gratitude and deference, or behaviours in return. If the computer was provided as a privilege it should have been done with agreed upon terms of use and removed if these were not respected. The drama and underlying rage show a lack of self-reglation one would expect of an adult and not at all expect from an adolescent.
4) Do we need more tough love and less bending over backwards to accomodate our children’s ever whim?
I think we do need more authoritative parenting. Research on effective parenting styles is resounding – children need structure, firm limit setting, and consistent follow through with expectations and discipline. This needs to be accompanied by high levels of engagement and positive regard. When we are afraid to make rules and apply consequences firmly, afraid to say no, afraid to exercise judgment and leadership even when our children show displeasure, and when we are indulgent and accommodating such that our children never learn to handle failure, conflict, disappointment or frustration, we are failing our children. But we also have to be present, involved, aware of what is happening in our children’s lives. And we have to show them by our actions how to live with integrity and personal accountability.
5) Why wouldn’t a dad feeding his baby daughter a bottle or cooking her dinner or giving her a hug go viral instead of a guy with a gun?
I wish I knew the answer to that. You might want to look at our website www.lifecache.ca where my husband and I recently posted about fatherhood. I have a few posts about his role as a father in our family. And it should be viral. The only thing I can think is that this man has touched on that capacity for our children, especially teens, to make us feel frustrated and uncertain and at wits end. Most parents have had moments of deep anger with their children. And some of why it went viral was outrage as well.
6) Dude, really you need to smoke while making this love letter to your kid? What’s with the cig?
Right, another super example of modeling. And I bet if she smoked he would be incensed.
Mary Champagne
The Dad looks like a total coward in this video. Voice quivering, talking to a camera instead of directly to his daughter, committing the act when she is not around.
I couldn’t hear most of that video: my hearing is awful and the framerate was way too low for lipreading. But I think that has to be one of the most horrible things I’ve ever personally seen a parent do, apart from my friend who was made homeless by her mother repeatedly through her childhood. Gendered violence though? I don’t see what it has to do with gender. If I heard about a man shooting a woman’s property and joking about shooting “past” it I’d call that fucked up. Not misogyny. I find it hard to believe he wouldn’t be… Read more »
I think a lot of the focus is on the fact that he used a gun, which is a highly charged, highly symbolic piece of technology in America and will automatically (so to speak) bring up much bigger political arguments. How much of the response is because of the gun itself? I wonder if he destroyed her laptop with something else if the response would be different. Let’s say he ran over it with a steamroller or put it in an industrial-sized woodchipper. First of all, he wouldn’t have become as famous. I doubt the critics would have been so… Read more »
correction: “would have been more humorous”
correction: “Imagine a cloud”
It’s hilarious that he thinks he’s asserting control by destroying her laptop. He’s playing right into her hands! She’s been playing him like a fiddle, and she still is. Think about it. She got him to buy her a laptop and upgrade it. When he gets mad at her, he destroys this thing that HE paid for and put work into, and he even convinces himself that this is a good thing to do. She got him to shell out some money and then got him to throw it all away thinking that he was a good man for wasting… Read more »
I believe there’s an Old Testament passage that says if a child continues to disobey a parent, that child cand and should be put to death. Are we thinking we should go back to THAT kind of “old school” parenting?
It may be that young people’s discipline is in decline. That could be something that we could try to measure somehow. I’d like to know how anyone would come to an objective conclusion about that one way or the other, beyond the anecdotal “I never would have gotten away with that with my parents.” I’m skeptical, but I’m willing to be convinced. I’m skeptical because every generation for thousands of years has been convinced that the current generation of young people is out of control and has no discipline. Pick any society that has written records anywhere in the world… Read more »
So, he’s taught his daughter to cover her tracks better when she’s online. She should post complaints under a pseudonym so it doesn’t get back to her.
He also taught her she’s not nearly as smart as she thinks she is, and even the family dog can uncover her deceit.
Maybe instead of covering her tracks better she’ll stop and weigh whether or not it’s worth getting caught.
Well I may not have a 16 year old daughter, but I certainly was a 16 year old daughter. I have a sister who was, at one point, 16…and I had many friends who were 16-year-old daughters. At 16, we were all really daft and wicked dense. Now I don’t know this man or his daughter, so maybe she will think about whether it’s ‘worth it’ to do it next time. But from my experience, at that age, mostly you’re worrying about whether you’ve hid what you’ve done well enough. I was a really good kid; I got into very… Read more »
Sure, maybe she’ll learn from this. I’m sure she won’t underestimate her father in the same way that she did before.
If she badmouths her parents when she’s standing at her school locker, would it be okay to shoot up her locker as well? If she complains about her home life in an English paper, would it be okay for him to shoot up the classroom? I’m sure those things would feel very satisfying as well.
This guy is a brilliant Dad and should be American of the year. He cares for his kid enough to make the hard choices and to DISCIPLINE her…something that’s been lost for too long and that needs to return asap.
The whimpy whining from the feminists and limp wristed liberals over this perfectly illustrates what’s wrong in society to day.
On ya Dad.
“The whimpy whining from the feminists and limp wristed liberals over this perfectly illustrates what’s wrong in society to day.” – That is an insult. The rest of what you wrote, alright that’s your opinion. But the bit I quoted, that is just supposed to be an insult. It doesn’t promote discussion, it tries to stop discussion by causing shame and anger. Not cool. Try actually reading what the “whimpy feminists” are writing, first. Some of us are saying its gendered. But quite a few of us either haven’t brought it up or are saying it’s not a gender issue.… Read more »
Get back to us when YOU have a 16 year old daughter, Heather.
I’m DYING to hear all about it.
I’m not clear what the argument is here. Are liberals and feminists to blame for his daughter’s misbehavior? I’m not clear on how exactly those evil forces influenced his daughter. I have the impression his daughter was NOT raised in a liberal or feminist household, so I’m wondering where exactly this influence comes from.
If limp-wristed liberals and whimpy whining feminists are more powerful than a gun-toting conservative dad, then what does that say about gun-toting conservatives? Being weaker than the whimpiest whiner is kind of embarassing, it seems to me. Kind of sad, really.
This is an example of truly terrible parenting, and I hate to think the kind of fear that use of a gun in disciplinary action must instill in a child. Anyone with half a brain can think up more constructive, effective and no-violent ways to discipline children, so this must be regarded as a truly juvenile and immature act. Too few parents these days understand how to control their anger or the importance of doing so. I must, however, echo the disagreement over point number two. The fact that a man committed a unjust action against a woman does not… Read more »
I watched the father’s video and I have three observations: First, he apparently is so addicted to cigarettes that he cannot film an 8-minute long YouTube video without smoking one. When his goal is to criticize the bad habit of another human being, this should probably be kept in mind (you know something about he-who-is-without-sin-casting-the-first-stone). Second, he is complaining in large part because she made an expletive-laden Facebook post. He then uses a series of expletives to describe her behavior. What ever happened to setting an example? Then again, if he was interested in setting an example, he’d probably quit… Read more »
My father smoked like a chimney, which I hated so much I never once touched one. My daughter smokes like a chimney thinking it was something cool her mother would never do.
What’s your point?
My father drank, smoked and cussed – all things I found repugnant and never did. My daughter thinks I’m a goody goody and does all those things.
Sometimes kids learn from your mistakes. Sometimes they make mistakes on their own.
Well, that certainly justifies shooting someone else’s stuff and incorporating gunplay into a parenting style grounded in humiliation and domination. I’m convinced!
My point is that you set the best example you can, something the father in this instance needs to work on.
If his daughter is 15/16, chances are VERY GREAT that she needs that laptop for school. Every day.
A ridiculous exercise of “tough love” just set this family back hundreds of dollars.
Brilliant.
Everyone wants to crush the disapline of yesterday. Spankings are bad, screaming is bad, but I guess here is my observation. The new way isn’t working. No one has any power over their kid any more. I once threatened to slap my daughter for her telling me to fuck off. Her response was that she would call CPS. That is where its gone and now that kids have more power than the parents that are trying to produce responsible productive children, we have failed. Kids now know, they do not have to do anything they don’t want and society will… Read more »
Hmm…I think something in the middle. I’m not a parent, but whatever the heck my parents did worked. My sister and I both turned out pretty well (I think). We weren’t spanked, and neither of my parents ever threatened physical punishment. It was always time-outs, or taking away privileges, or being grounded. There were rules, and when we broke them we were punished, and my parents made sure we knew why we were being punished. And they were strict about breaking the rules…there wasn’t any way to talk out of a punishment once they found out we’d messed up. Somehow… Read more »
Heather – no. You AREN’T a parent, and yes – it shows.
Get a dog, then we’ll talk.
Ah this is going in a different direction…but that’s like saying, I’m not straight so I can’t comment on straight relationships. And I’m not a man, so I can’t comment on anything to do with men. I’m not from Europe, so I can’t comment on anything to do with European politics. You get what I’m saying.
I admit my perspective is different. But just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s invalid.
Cary, you describe a situation in which your daughter told you to “fuck off” and you threatened to hit her in the face. What, exactly, did you think that hitting a teenage girl in the face would achieve? Did you think that hitting your own daughter would make her suddenly value your judgments, and want to hear what you have to say? I think you wanted to violently hit your daughter because you were angry and having a hard time controlling yourself. This is your problem, not society’s, and it is your personal failing, not the failing of modern concepts… Read more »
The best example I think as a rebuttal to MG’s take on this is Tommy Jordan’s open letter to the media and public, pasted below. Sorry, Mary, but I respectfully find much of your argument to be misplaced. The misogyny argument is disingenuous at best. I’m the father of two daughters, who were also brought up around guns and hunting. And a son as well. None of them would consider this type of thing “gender abuse.” Nor an act of violence in the way it was conducted, which I thought was a rational manner that strived to make a point… Read more »
Yeah, this guy’s obviously completely emotionally out of control and out of touch with his daughter.
So whats his message to the daughter, say nice things about me or next time or I’ll shoot you?…Adolescents come by their whiny stupidity naturally, the father has no excuse.
My concern is what else this jerk will use his gun for the next time his daughter pushes his temper over his limit. This is not parental discpline, this is emotional abuse, bullying, and a virtual lock to ensure that he and his little girl have a terrible relationship for the rest of their lives. Well played, pops. Clearly, the father doesn’t care, because he would never resort to these tactics if he did. He’s one of those bullets didn’t accidentally kill someone. And, PS, one bullet through the middle of the laptop would have been more than adequate. I… Read more »
I suspect that if the child was beaten regularly she would have chosen different things to complain about than having to make coffee and make her bed. Like, say, being beaten. That might take precedence.
Listen to the post. This is not something an abused child writes. This is something an overentitled, lazy teen writes. I work with abused kids. They don’t complain about dishes.
seriously? Every one of those bullets went straight through the laptop into the dirt. No errant bullets flying around wildly seeking an innocent.
I should post the video of me teaching my 6 yr old son and 9 yr old daughter how to shoot. We’re starting with a .22 rifle but they sure like how loud Daddy’s 12 gauge is. All the while my 3 year old is clapping and clamoring for his turn (he didn’t get a turn but he will when he is 6). Some of the people here would probably have a conniption.
I don’t disagree with what he said about discipline, but I can’t say I agree with making a response in public. Discipline should serve the purpose of helping and educating your child, not humiliating them. I do feel that, if one has a problem with someone, the mature approach is to deal with that person directly, in private, even if they have done so in public. It makes me think of Michael Landon, who was a bedwetter growing up until well into his teens. Every morning he had an accident, his mother would take his sheets and wave them from… Read more »
“Children, even teenagers, are sensitive, and irrational, creatures.” – Heck, I’d argue teenagers are more sensitive, especially when it comes to humiliation. As a child I was pretty much never embarrassed about anything. Then as a teenager, everything I (and my parents) did could suddenly be used to shame me. I mean, not really, but that’s how I felt sometimes.
I’m not saying children should be coddled. But I think parents should recognize that embarrassment, especially for teens, isn’t going to bring about the desired results.
Thing is, Jeffery, Michael Landon’s mother was not acting out of love or concern for her son. She was being a cruel bitch and enjoying it. I don’t see this father enjoying the attention or punishing his child for something she can’t help. I see a very hurt, angry and FRIGHTENED father – a father who cares DEEPLY about the irresponsible and selfish brat his daughter is potentially turning out to be. Even the most loving parents make big, big mistakes – but in the end love conquers all. Say whatever you will, this man isn’t hurt and angry over… Read more »
I applaud this father! Why are people saying he went over board. OVER A LAPTOP. MATERIALISTIC THINGS CAN BE REPLACED. You know what cannot be replaced, if this kids grows up to be an ungrateful adult that turns into a menace to society because their parents could careless of what they did in their social life. And for those who BLAME the father for not paying attention to the child’s needs?! Really? Give me a BREAK! Being able to wake up under a roof, a WARM roof, knowing that there’s food in the fridge and clean clothes in your drawers… Read more »
From what I’ve seen, most of these comments aren’t saying it’s bad he took away her laptop. They aren’t saying she should have been given everything. Most people are suggesting that the METHOD by which he did this was ineffective and probably just caused more harm. It was violent, destructive, and all about public humiliation. That is not the sort of example a father (or mother) should set for their children. It instils fear and anger in the child, not respect. As I said, if my father had ever done this I would have been afraid and pissed off, but… Read more »
The lesson is repeated multiple times: if you misuse the privileges we’ve given you, you’ll lose them. And if you want these material items we’ve given you back, you can earn them yourself so that they mean something to you.
It stuns me that this is controversial.
But you can teach all that without blowing holes into the laptop and putting it online so that she’s humiliated. That’s where the controversy lies, for me.
Hard to tell from the video. We don’t know the extent of previous discipline. This might be a major jump from the last attempt–which didn’t work–due to Dad’s frustration, or it could be a small increment beyond what happened last time–which didn’t work. IMO, there are two themes here. One is dtr’s attitude, particularly unacceptable when directed toward the cleaning lady. It needs addressing. The other is dtr’s posting the whole thing publicly. Also needs addressing. It was said, a couple of decades ago, that a five-hundred pound bomb was known as a “serbian hearing aid”, since you couldn’t talk… Read more »
Having been a holy terror as a teen I can relate. However, teen girls will be teen girls. They rebel. It’s a natural passage. They’re even irrational, bitchy, rude and disrespectful. Nothing has changed in that respect. The fact that the dad saw it on Facebook–well, that’s the contemporary element. As frustrated as this parent was by his ‘ungrateful’ daughter, he just set a terrible example for her and has now allowed himself to further demonize her and that’s just not good parenting. Taking her computer away for a week and locking it in a storage unit; that’s punishment. Shooting… Read more »
I actually think that the father is completely justified. How dare his 15 yr old daughter disrespect him that way? I am 23 years old and if I EVER spoke to or about my parents this way you can bet your behind that my dad would take away anything that he bought me, for good. This father seems very similar to my own, he loves and cares for his child, but God help her if she is disrespectful. And she darn well deserves it. Talk about acting like a spoilt little brat. “I have to do chores, get up and… Read more »
Well okay yes…but… He didn’t just take the laptop away. He didn’t even take it away permanently. He took it and videotaped himself shooting it, destroying it. That, to me, is where he went too far. That’s threatening, if not to her physically than at least to her other possessions. If my father had done something like that, I’d be afraid of him. I wouldn’t respect him more, and I wouldn’t appreciate anything else he gave me more. All that would have accomplished is to make me fear him. And why would a father ever want his kids to be… Read more »
It’s not even shooting the laptop that necessarily bothers me. It’s posting it on-line where millions of people have access to this video, and now this girl will forever have this above her head. I would lose all respect for my father if he did this to me, humiliating me a million times worse than I humiliated him. You don’t gain respect through fear and intimidation, just saying.
Agreed.
But he even addresses specifically why he did that: the offense was in a public location, and therefore so is the punishment. My dad sure as hell never went even remotely into the detail this dad does on why he’s doing what he does. Fear? Intimidation? There’s not a single moment in the video where the girl (who isn’t there) is threatened or intimidated. I’ll admit I’m guessing but given the father’s dress and the apparent location of the video I’d guess that this young lady has been around guns for her entire life. There’s no fear here. You did… Read more »
2) Do you think there is some kind of gender abuse here with a male father using his gun to punish his female daughter? Would a mother would be accused of gender abuse if she did the same to her son? Would a father be accused of gender-abuse if he did the same to his son? Would a mother be accused of gender-abuse if she did this to her daughter? No in all cases. Thus, there is no gender-abuse here. 5) Why wouldn’t a dad feeding his baby daughter a bottle or cooking her dinner or giving her a hug… Read more »
I kind of feel for the father as I have a 15 going-on-16-year-old myself and have had MANY trying moments. Was it extreme? Yes. Was it within his rights to do what he did? Absolutely. If you listen to him, he not only bought the laptop for her but he also spent hours upgrading it and cleaning up viruses that she allowed onto it. In return she used the very same computer to rant (complete with expletives) about her difficult life of chores and responsibilities on a public forum. Seriously?
I’m not a parent, just throwing that out there. But really, he bought a laptop for her, upgraded it, cleaned it up….that right there isn’t being a good parent. Well at least, not in my opinion. How does giving your kid an expensive gift and then taking care of it for her teach her anything about taking care of her possessions? And as he bought it, yes he has every right to take it away. But he could have done so without being violent and without doing it publicly. Yeah so his kid raged about him on the internet…when I… Read more »
You agree it is extreme, yet you’re condoning his actions; this is very contradictory. Also he has no right to destroy her property since he did buy the laptop for her (it is a gift); but he does have the right as a parent to ground her by taking the laptop away – which he should have done instead of blowing it up out of vengeance and permanent punishment (laptop got destroyed). The text msgs on Facebook was never intended for him and we don’t know what this girl’s homelife is like with her father and so shouldn’t judge by… Read more »
Surely Princess will GLADLY keep us apprised of her father’s abuses via Facebook, so there is no need to speculate. In my family, Michelle, expletives were expressly forbidden. Believe it or not, MANY parents don’t ride the “teen culture” wave, and as parents they have the right to teach their children to adhere to their family’s expectations and values rather than the questionable values of their peers. My neighbor found out his daughter was giving the neighbor boys BJs in his garage every Saturday morning. That too is” a part of teen culture”, and if he hadn’t died from a… Read more »
See now, except for the sarcasm, I actually agree with your post here, Cotton. Except….except that he used destruction of property and public humiliation as his methods. I don’t think he’s some evil father that has irreversibly traumatized his daughter, or that he was abusing her or anything. I mean he could be; I don’t know him…but I don’t think that from watching this. I just think it could have been handled with less drama and fanfare…less shame and potential fear.
I’m sure expletives are forbidden in many families, i don’t argue with that; as long as they don’t do say it to my face, let them have a bit of space to grow up. Blow jobs are actually from porn culture; smoking, drinking, drugs…are from pop culture and sub cultures. Teens are like sponges. I don’t see in my posts where I’m advocating all of these things for teens??? Thanks for your lessons, mommy dearest. Some of us are assuming the father in the video, is a perfect father all-around…with automatic assumption that his daughter is unruly and ungrateful, spoiled… Read more »
2) Do you think there is some kind of gender abuse here with a male father using his gun to punish his female daughter? Yes, in several ways. He talks about his threat in the past to be “shoot” her computer if she repeats a similar infraction. If we changed this scenario and said that a man told a woman he would shoot her property if she did something he didn’t like again we would be appalled by the misogyny. Because he is her father this is even remotely acceptable? He was destructive to valued personal property because she behaved… Read more »
Why wouldn’t a dad feeding his baby daughter a bottle or cooking her dinner or giving her a hug go viral instead of a guy with a gun? Because those activities are not unusual. Millions of Dad’s do that and I’m sure the Dad in the video probably fed her and sang to her. Shooting a computer is not an everyday occurence. Does the daughter have no responsibilty in love and resprect? The Dad said he spent hours upgrading her computer, and then destroyed the material thing, he did not harm her physical self. We have only a micro view… Read more »
my Mom forcibly tossed my nintendo into the garbage can when I was 12 because I had been a disrespectful pain in the butt. The nintendo was destroyed by the impact. Perhaps I should have been concerned that she was going to throw me into the trash can? Oy
Feels like the article is referring to some other piece that isn’t linked to?
Shooting is a bit weird but isn’t removing privileges a pretty typical method of disciplining children?
Here’s the original article:
https://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/dad-uses-45-to-shoot-daughters-laptop-over-facebook/
Here’s where I find the difference, removing privileges can be done in a non-violent, non-angry way. When I was punished as a child and a teen, the main form of that punishment was actually privileges. There were periods where I wasn’t allowed on the family computer, or wasn’t allowed television. My sister once had all of her privileges taken away for a year (she messed up big time). But whenever that happened, my parents always explained to me how I’d messed up (though frankly I usually knew because the rules were well understood by my sister and I), and they… Read more »
I doubt that the daughter backed up her hard-drive before all hell broke loose. I would be crazy mad if anyone destroyed my property like that.
Wasn’t her property, it was his, in fact everything that is hers is his because she is 15/16.
And he threatened to do it, then did it when she did a bad thing again, I don’t see the problem here.
If that is your argument…she’s only 15/16, “everything that is hers is his”…ergo his daughter must be his PROPERTY too? Because he’s treating her as such! He’s a controlling tyrant and that video proves it to the world. The fact he doesn’t know teenagers use Facebook to complain about things, like chores, and use expletives with abandon online, tells me that he is very OUT OF TOUCH with reality and his relationship with his daughter suffers for it. My 12 year old cousin uses lots of expletives online; at first I was a bit shocked because she’s a good child… Read more »
“If that is your argument…she’s only 15/16, “everything that is hers is his”…ergo his daughter must be his PROPERTY too? Because he’s treating her as such! He’s a controlling tyrant and that video proves it to the world.” LOL! Talk about hysterical! Yes, everything that is ‘hers’ *is* his, if he bought it. But to say that because she has no assets of her own, you construe that to mean he *owns* her?! Who’s wooly butt did you pull that one out of? And to call him a ‘controlling tyrant’ for destroying a laptop which he purchased for her use….well,… Read more »
Haha, she’s criticizing a guy whose idea of a proportionate response to a facebook post was to literally shoot the computer, but yeah, she’s the juvenile one. Got it.
Hippolyta, I suspect the bigger issue is that the father threw a very obvious temper tantrum…in response to his daughter’s temper tantrum. And this display, which should be shameful and embarrassing, is being upheld by a generation of parents who have run out of good ideas as “the guy that did what I’ve always wanted to.” If you think about it, the hypocrisy involved in making a YouTube video in order to shame your daughter because she shamed you on Facebook…it’s astounding. If this man wants to know why his daughter behaves the way she does, he needs to take… Read more »
No, 15 year olds have property.
“Wasn’t her property, it was his, in fact everything that is hers is his because she is 15/16.” So your logic is that if he paid for it, it’s his? Alright then. Let’s say I’m a really nice guy; I buy my friend, say, an iPod for Christmas. (Obviously it’s the only gift he’s getting from me this year.) Then, after a couple years, I see he’s been doing whatever thing I loathe with said iPod. In response, I go over and bust the thing. Well, I’m completely within my rights, aren’t I? After all, I paid for it! I… Read more »
You are context dropping. He is her Father…he keeps her therefore is the boss. The laptop was given to her on condition that she behaved…she didn’t. It was his right to take it back and destroy it if he so desired. Doing what he did has left her with a memory for all her life and a lesson in consequences…..well done Dad.
Let’s say your friend was caught downloading kiddie porn on the gift you gave him. Your taking it away and shooting it would be “justifiable”, and EVERYone would be applauding, but a male parent making a pretty dramatic statement to his enormously spoiled princess is gasp, gasp…. wrrrrrooooonnnnngggggggg! In high school my father kicked my door down. It was traumatizing and frightening as hell. Years later, after observing all the mistakes, screw ups and life ruination of my “luckier” peers with wonderfully Trained Seal fathers, I wrote my father a Thank You letter for doing whatever it took to teach… Read more »