Joanna Schroeder didn’t think Chris Brown’s tattoo looked that much like Rihanna… Until she saw it side-by-side with the evidence photo from the night the singer battered his girlfriend.
I believe in redemption.
I believe people can stumble, and can recover from almost anything with a ton of honest and self-critical hard work. I’ve seen in it my own life, in relationships and with friends. I’ve had to do it myself.
When I heard that Rihanna admitted to Oprah that Chris Brown was still the great love of her life despite him having beaten her to a swollen, bloody pulp one night in his car, I was not outraged. I understood. I’m fortunate to be in a safe and happy marriage for the last 8 years, but I remember what it’s like to be young and to love someone who you know is terrible for you. Just because you love them doesn’t mean that you’re going to choose to be with them and put yourself in the line of fire over and over again.
And inside my heart (which may be childish and illogical) I hoped that Chris Brown could pull his shit together, do the work, and heal whatever caused him to batter the woman he apparently loved so very much. If he did the hard work and healed himself, and she did the same, I would be willing to part with the crowd who most likely would exploded in outrage if they ended up back together.
In truth, there would be no way for any of us, as the general public, to know whether Brown has done any of the necessary work to not only redeem himself, but also to heal himself and make himself into someone who could be a safe and loving partner. Like any character in the media, we’d have to base it upon what we learn through TV and magazines.
But Chris Brown sure doesn’t seem to be headed in the direction of someone who wants to heal himself. His most recent bizarro move is a grotesque tattoo of the mutilated face of a woman whom many assert bears a notable resemblance to Rihanna.
Chris Brown’s reps have stated for the record that the image is actually from a MAC Cosmetics ad—it’s supposed to be a skull—to celebrate Dia de los Muertos. The art work that the tattoo is allegedly based upon can be seen here, though if you ask me, the tattoo is pretty dramatically unlike the original art EW.com is featuring.
I looked at the photo of the tattoo and then Googled images of Rihanna to try to get a critical perspective. I came away thinking that while the tattoo is definitely a strange one—the woman is either beat up or a zombie—it doesn’t really look exactly like Rihanna. Check it out, see what you think:
So yeah, I mean that’s definitely a woman with a messed-up face… But Rihanna? Most likely not. I mean, who would be so stupid as to admit beating up your girlfriend, and then tattooing her disfigured image on his neck?
My mind was changed when I saw a side-by-side comparison of Brown’s new tattoo and the photo taken of Rihanna by the LAPD for evidence after Brown beat her up. It’s actually pretty startling.
The injuries on the tattoo are markedly more severe, but the image seems obviously designed to evoke Rihanna’s face. Could it be a warning? Is it a brag? Why would someone brag about having battered someone they love?
Amanda Marcotte quickly presented an explanation for that question, asserting that the classic image of the remorseful batterer is outdated and incorrect:
There’s a myth that men who beat and rape women just “lose control” and that after they act out, they sit around stewing in shame. That is because this is what these men tell people they are trying to ingratiate themselves with, in order to gain their acceptance and forgiveness. But inside, as many victims who have seen their true face can tell you, they are defiant. They believe they are entitled to dominate women, and they feel victimized by a world that doesn’t give them what they believe is theirs. They act out, looking for little ways to assert the right to dominate [what] they believe is theirs.
Now, I’m no Marcotte fangirl. I disagree with probably about 40% of what she writes, but something about this statement rings true to me. The batterers I’ve known have betrayed a certain pride over the pain they cause their partner. They want their partner to keep the abuse a secret, but they themselves say things like “Jodi knows better than to look twice at another guy” while making a punching motion with their hands. It’s always under the guise of being a joke, but it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when you already know or suspect that the guy is abusing his wife. One man I knew who was a batterer would threaten to rape his wife, seemingly joking, in front of almost anyone. Turned out he had been raping her for almost as long as they were married.
As a child, my close friend and neighbor had an abusive father. He would start screaming and slap his wife, and we would all run from the house down the block to my front yard where we would wait for a while until we guessed it was safe to creep back to see if the screaming had stopped. Once or twice we’d end up walking down the block with a police officer to give a statement. This guy would apologize up and down to the police and swear he didn’t mean to touch his wife, he’d just tripped and they’d both fallen. Something absurd like that. But his wife would never press charges so as far as I can remember, he was never arrested for battering.
At least once after a beating he said, “And don’t think I won’t do it again” to her and their children, explaining, “If your mom didn’t make me so mad…”
While this is all anecdotal, the batterer’s brag feels very true to me, including with women who physically abuse their male partners (though to my knowledge, I’ve only known one female batterer). Lots of women love to brag about their husbands being scared to make them mad. It’s always weird to me… Why would you be proud of that?
So is that what Chris Brown is doing? Is this tattoo a brag about beating up Rihanna?
Could it be a reminder to himself not to ever do it again?
Perhaps it’s a tribute to zombie art… Maybe a message to AMC to cast Rihanna in the next season of Walking Dead?
Is there any chance that tattoo is actually based upon the MAC Cosmetics art shown on EW.com?
Seems doubtful to me… You know Occam’s Razor – the notion that the simplest explanation is usually the truth. What’s the simplest explanation here?
What do you think?
Also read: Rihanna, Chris Brown and the WTFness of Celebrity Love by Shawn Maxam
About Joanna Schroeder
Forgiveness is for gods. Humans have to protect themselves, and if that means no second chances for bastards like this, so be it.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/apr/13/man-admits-gouging-eyes-partner
The simplest explanation is, Chris Brown is a horrible human being. He’s more than immature. He’s a sociopath. He belives he’s done nothing wrong.
You know that thing most people have called a conscience? Like when you walk into a tattoo shop and think about getting some sick ink on your neck that may or may not look like the girl you nearly beat to death? Yeah, I thought so. I’ve never thought of that, either.
Occam’s Razor applies here. Chris Brown is a horrible human being. I pray Rihanna is better than him and stays away forever and a day after that.
1) I’m not a fan of Chris Brown, I think battery is reprehensible, and I don’t think his music is all that great either.
2) That said, the image looks much more like a derivative of the Dia de los Muertos image than a representation of RiRi’s battered face. Look again – the lips, the nose, the shading. Some elements from the original are exactly duplicated, with embellishments by the artist. To the extent it resembles RiRi’s face, it’s because he beat her until she resembled the dead.
3) That said, it’s still remarkably poor taste. That? On his neck? With his history?
So he’s either bragging or an f’ing idiot.
I think both.
I would tend to agree. It think it does look more like the MAC design than it does like Rihanna’s face post-beating. Simply enough, the size and shape of the lips, nose and eye on the non-zombie side don’t really look like Rihanna at all. As for the left side, if you want to make the case that it’s a woman’s face, it could be any woman’s face – nothing I see that would make it specifically her.
Totally agree that it’s bad taste, though, and not a smart move on his part – not that I’ve come to expect smart things out of him at all.
I think the lips and eyes look exactly like Rihanna. Either way, it just shows what a bad move it was on his part.
I actually have concerns for him that this is part of an episode of mania… It is so ill-advised and non-sensical. I hope if he’s battling some mental health issues that he has people in his life who will support him to find a good treatment.
Honestly I think trying to say that tat is Rihanna or is some “memorial” of his attack on her is straw grasping. Just another attepmpt to forever make his life before, during, and after that attack, all about that attack. About 3 steps above seeing the Virgin Mary or Jesus in random objects like grilled cheese sandwiches and random splatters of paint.
If you want to say its bad taste I can agree with that given the events of his life in question. But to try to actually link that tat to her? Overkill.
Give this a few days to swirl around and I fully expect people to change their tune to, “But it doesn’t matter if the tattoo is her or not…..” basically showing they only made the connection so they could get their voice heard for a few extra seconds.
Chris Brown already receives all the hate from the world when he beat Rihanna., its imposible he make a tattoo bragging about that. Even if he is an evil, he have a brain, if he do that, his carreer would vanished. His carreer in music slowly building up again that accident, no way he would destroy it again. I’m sure he know that.
“There’s a myth that men who beat and rape women just “lose control” and that after they act out, they sit around stewing in shame. That is because this is what these men tell people they are trying to ingratiate themselves with, in order to gain their acceptance and forgiveness. But inside, as many victims who have seen their true face can tell you, they are defiant. They believe they are entitled to dominate women, and they feel victimized by a world that doesn’t give them what they believe is theirs. They act out, looking for little ways to assert the right to dominate [what] they believe is theirs.”
Quoting Amanda Marcotte? Cmon now, I’m sure there are more reputable sources to find for a quote like that. SOME abusers lose control (physical abuse mainly, single violent acts, rape however is another kettle of fish), SOME abusers are misogynists/misandrists, not every abuser is the same. Do you know how much abuse starts off from unmanaged anger issues, trauma and other negative experiences in life? I’ve been around abusers, some have that whole entitled attitude but I think quite a lot just have a lot of unmanaged issues to deal with. I probably could have been abusive myself without getting treatment for trauma I had, I wanted to lash out, I wanted to beat the shit out of anyone that fucked with me.
It varies person to person why people abuse, and I’ve seen people lose control before. Some people will lose control, maybe they have too much to drink, maybe they’re just so angry they start to tunnel vision, I’ve put my fists into walls during severe anger where I was tunnel visioning, put my fist in a door where I cut my hand and didn’t feel it for 20 minutes. Didn’t even realize what I had done. It was during a time of great stress just after the most painful injury I’ve ever had, a backspasm that lasted 3 weeks where I was pretty much bedbound, someone got reallllly on my nerves and chose the wrong day to become very critical of me and the door was in front of me. It’s scary losing control like that but these days I’m learning to redirect it, take myself outa the situation, hit a boxing bag whilst singing swear words (which helps a lot, wears out that energy quick).
Luckily I haven’t hit anyone in anger for a very long time, the last time was when I was getting bullied heavily and I snapped, threw a kid into a wall a few times n shoulder charged him, kid never messed with me again. But what good does that do now as an adult? If I do that now I’ll be charged for assault, and no one is worth jail-time. My uncle however also lost control but was also very violent, I saw the damage done to people who have been victims of abuse, including myself, it’s what held me back everytime, it’s why I don’t abuse and hate abuse. But not everyone has reached a point of realization like that, so I can understand how abusers can lose control.
I believe first-time abusers have the potential to be rehabilitated into decent people, they need to own up to their shit and deal with it. It’s a myth that once an abuser, always an abuser, there are so many reasons people lash out in anger, hit, etc. A habitual abuser though is a different story and may change but it’s far far tougher to change I think once it’s gone on long enough.
Quite a lot of abusers are actually very charming people, it’s how they get away with it for so long. There is no single mold abusers come from, humans can be violent and controlling creatures for many reasons.
“This guy would apologize up and down to the police and swear he didn’t mean to touch his wife, he’d just tripped and they’d both fallen. Something absurd like that. But his wife would never press charges so as far as I can remember, he was never arrested for battering.”
Those that can be saved would hate themselves for what they did and put themselves into therapy, that’s probably a key difference.
“Lots of women love to brag about their husbands being scared to make them mad. It’s always weird to me… Why would you be proud of that?”
Because it’s socially acceptable for women to hit men in many cases, there are studies which show quite a lot of people seem to think it’s ok when a woman hit’s a man “if he deserves it”. Do you call them out on that? Any guy I know that openly bragged about that shit would probably cop a punch to the face from some of my friends, and I’d chew them out for it. God help me with my temper if I ever seen abuse happen in front of me, it’s a situation that scares me as I hope I can control myself but I am probably liable to take the abuser down.
Remember though that you probably only see OPENLY abusive people, who are cocky n confident in their behaviour and aren’t trying to hide it. It sounds like those people aren’t afraid for people to know what they think and will brag about it. There are plenty more abusers behind closed doors, hell some only show their head when alcohol drops their ability to control themselves.
I am not proud of my anger at all, it scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to be like my uncle or grandpa or his father, or any of the male n female abusers I’ve known. But I know the signs of when to walk away now, when that tunnel vision happens it means gtfo of the situation, go scream into a pillow, hit a boxing bag, just do anything to release that energy in a controlled and safe manner.
“Is there any chance that tattoo is actually based upon the MAC Cosmetics art shown on EW.com?”
They’re extremely similar with some added black splotches. The photo of his tattoo is low quality but appears her eyes are open, it’s got the duality theme, the morbid mixed with the beauty, Rihanna’s face however is beaten all over.
The tattoo is poor taste though either way, he’s openly known as a woman beater so of course the tattoo will provoke reactions in people. Some people will see Rihanna, others will see a silly Dia de los Muertos skull thingie bobbie
This post isn’t to excuse violence, I’m using a personal observation of abusive people I’ve known and my own anger issues to try illustrate how people can fly off the handle at times. I have been triggered into a lot of anger by simple words alone, I can easily see how people can hit others when they simply say words. As a kid I threwdown when I was called fat n teased over n over till I finally hit a limit, that can easily happen to adults as well. It’s why we all need to ensure we have control over our anger as anger can be very dangerous without control. Bad situations spiral downhill VERY quickly, a single punch can kill, people do lose control at times. We’re not gods who have 100% control over our reactions, the fight or flight response can be triggered by all kinds of shit and even trigger at non-threatening situations (it’s where my social anxiety comes from).
dude , you should submit an article to GMP!!! You speak for us guys, i love nearly all of your comments. This is goodmenproject, this is site from guys to guys, we need more guys to speak,. Sometimes listening to women ( although we know they care about us ) is more than enough, i need to listen more to guys , guy like you! I notice your comments on GMP article are unique, you really honest about being a guy without have to be a feminist ( cough cough Hugo …) .This post is far better than this article itself. props to you!
“Because it’s socially acceptable for women to hit men in many cases” -> GOLD WORDS!!!
I have one article on here about my mental illness, but I guess I’ll try write some more one day. Thanks for the support.
Chris Brown is a country boy, high school drop out from the hinterlands of the Northern Neck of Virginia. Besides working with top professionals in the entertainment industry, he is almost certainly surrounded by a bunch of hangers on from from the same country gangsta milieu that he grew up in, that tell him that his shit doesn’t stink several times a day. He is probably incapable of any type of serious introspection, and has certainly not connected the fact that his mother was a victim of domestic violence, to his own actions. A year and a half ago he violently flipped out on the Today show when the subject of Rhianna came up. That tattoo is exactly what it appears to be. A big F–k Ya’all to all the haters out there. But the guy is still going to sell downloads and concert tickets. A better question might be, who is this cat’s fan base, and how can they just go along with this? But those are some pretty murky waters, and some people’s feelings are going to be hurt if the subject is discussed in any meaningful way.
J P you’re saying something very important here.
Ultimately, how responsible are we as consumers to CB’s success? Team Breezy is really powerful, and as we saw with all the women Tweeting during the Grammys (VMAs?) last year “I’d let him beat me any time”, this isn’t just a problem with Brown. This is a deep, complex problem harkening back to what we find acceptable behavior for men and women.
Beyond that, as I said before, I am concerned about his mental state and hope he has people in his life who will help him get treatment if this is a part of that. It reminds me of Tyson getting a face tattoo.
I think Chris Brown is a sick dude…and he wants to get away with abusing her again and again….it must give him a sense of sick control (when everything else in his life must feel out of control)…
My ex came back to stalk me decades later after I left him…he drove hours out of his way just to intimidate me (just because he was able to get away with it before)….except that I have changed (and I notified the authorities!)….
I pray for Rihanna….she is addicted to his drama and feels sorry for him….it is hard to just go cold turkey from an abuser….
When the details of the incident came out in the police report, it showed that Rhiannon’s (throw the first punwch) by taking her stiletto’s shoes off & hitting Chris over the head with the pointed part of her stilettos heel.
Way isn’t she accountable at least partially in her part in it, this treatment of women like children who are not accountable like adults is the reason this behaviour is repeated often between couple’s as domestic violence stats show in all of these volatile sick abusive relationships that keep repeating itself sometimes with no police involvement in which one of them usually end up seriously hurt or dead (commonly the woman) due to physical strength of the average male.
It just shows how incredibly strong his self-delusion and/ or denial is. To put a tattoo on your body–even if he meant it to resemble Dia de los Muertos–and not have the self-awareness to think, “Hey, wait, maybe this is a bad idea to put an image of a disfigured woman on my body given my history of beating up a woman. It could really reflect badly on me,” says to me that he probably genuinely has convinced himself that a) it never really happened, or b) it wasn’t as if it was anything BAD or anything. He genuinely believes he doesn’t have to face the consequences for his actions, that’s why he pitches a fit or throws around furniture every time an interviewer brings it up in an interview.
Here’s what Siri thinks of Chris Brown:
http://www.jest.com/video/174828/chris-brown-siri-ad