Definitely the most disturbing thing I’ve read in a long time is an article just published by Newsweek, titled “The John Next Door,” reporting the results of a new study of men who purchase sexual services, including (but not limited to) prostitution, erotic massages, lap dances, phone sex, and pornography.
While the article details the living conditions of prostitutes and discusses the tragedy of human trafficking—which is more than enough to turn my stomach—it was this horribly stark picture of “sex buyers” that disturbed me the most:
Overall, the attitudes and habits of sex buyers reveal them as men who dehumanize and commodify women, view them with anger and contempt, lack empathy for their suffering, and relish their own ability to inflict pain and degradation.
…
In their interviews, the sex buyers often voiced aggression toward women, and were nearly eight times as likely as non-buyers to say they would rape a woman if they could get away with it. Asked why he bought sex, one man said he liked “to beat women up.” Sex buyers, in the study, committed more crimes of every kind than non-buyers, and all the crimes associated with violence against women were committed by the johns.
I’ve written quite a bit on character and human weakness, but this is sheer depravity. Are these attitudes toward women are as common as these researchers claim? And if so, how do we combat these attitudes? Where do we start? How can we make sure the next generation of men does not grow up like this? At the end of the article, Ted Bunch, the cofounder of A Call to Men, a group that works to stop violence against women and girls, is quoted as blaming social conditioning, which is certainly a large part of it. But I have to think that this casual attitude toward complete dehumanization and extreme violence toward woman goes deeper than that—and that’s what I’m afraid of.
—Photo Flickr/tuppus
About Mark D White
How can we make sure the next generation of men does not grow up like this?
By giving them actual outlets to speak instead of telling them to “man up” them Flipping The Fuck Out when they go off the edge. It doesn’t do men any good to silence us then turn around and wonder why we end up do maladjusted.
(http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/most-of-us-will-not-even-use-the-word-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-37101)
I am so completely moved by your response Mark. I am so used to this behavior being justified that it is kind of what I expecting from @goodmenproject also. Thank you so much for reminding me that I can expect better.
Thank you, Jemima–there is no justification for attitudes like that, no matter how many or few men share them.
“Are these attitudes toward women are as common as these researchers claim?”
In a word: No.
I am highly suspicious of any “study” that is released exclusively for an info-tainment outlet. I guess EVERYONE blathering about this article missed this line in the third paragraph:
“A clinical psychologist, Farley studies prostitution, trafficking, and sexual violence, but even she wasn’t sure how representative her results were.”
Yes, even she isn’t sure if her study is worth reading.
Then there is the slanted reporting. Consider: “The burgeoning demand has led to a dizzying proliferation of services so commonplace that many men don’t see erotic massages, strip clubs, or lap dances as forms of prostitution.”
I know of no jurisdiction where a lap dance or simply being inside of a strip club is considered prostitution. This is especially true in jurisdictions which actually ban any form of contact between a dancer and a customer.
Then there are things like this: “Asked why he bought sex, one man said he liked “to beat women up.””
That’s freaking horrible. But it is ONE guy out of a hundred. And it’s a hundred guys in the Boston area. And the age range is 20 to 75…and I have to wonder how much of an outlier the 75 year old is.
Then this: Farley’s findings suggest that the use of prostitution and pornography may cause men to become more aggressive.”
I’d like to see the regression model that controls for all other external and internal controls on behavior and pins down a unidirectional relationship between pornography and aggression. What’s the first law of statistics? Correlation is not causation.
Or this: “Sex buyers in the study used significantly more pornography than nonbuyers…”
Well, yeah – BECAUSE using pornography more than once in the last month automatically put subjects into the “buyers” category. So the binary choice of non-users were “none” or “once.” There is, however, no upwards limit on how many times a subject viewed pornography.
To me, this is the most startling: “…and three quarters of them said they received their sex education from pornography, compared with slightly more than half of the nonbuyers.”
So…if I’m doing the math right, some 125 of 200 subjects had received “sex education” from pornography. I’m thinking that 62.5 percent of men probably don’t learn all they know about sex from porn.
And then: “Researchers and service providers consistently find high levels of posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, suicidal ideation, and other psychological problems among prostitutes.”
Yet a report that studied johns tells us nothing of these problems in the actual subjects of the study.
This would be laughed out of an undergrad methodology class.
Good points all, Tomio–to be clear, I wasn’t endorsing the details of the study itself, or of the article that reported it, but simply the attitudes expressed by even a few of the survey respondents.
I appreciate that point. For my part, I am not – and would never – defend the horrific views attributed to some of the subjects of the study. They are, I believe, the outliers and the result of flawed methodology. But even one guy saying he’d rape someone if he could get away with it is one too many.
The question is how do we, as men, change such things?
That’s the most important question, Tomio–and I have no idea.
*cough* (Sure pal)
Translation: Just spreadin’ the propaganda ‘cuz that is what they pay me for.
The study was terrible; I would have gotten an F for it in my Sophomore year of high school science fair project. It was an epic science fail and it was done by very biased people with a definitely radical agenda. It pretty makes any man with any sort of sexuality at all into a monster. It’s like making a male version of the Madonna or Whore Complex; you’re either an asexual saint, or you are a depraved woman hater. Asking this study to be honest and reliable is like asking Joseph Stalin to build a strip mall. Things aren’t as bad as the study says either. I masturbate a good number of times a week. I don’t hate women and I don’t like to spend my hours thinking of all the ways I could pound one into the dust and move her to tears. Misogyny is not very common; men can have their vexations and problems with women, but flat out real hatred is rare. Hating a person or a category so much so as to desire to cause the whole serious pain requires one majorly screwed up and sick individual.
Blame the end user or the supplier? The manly men at The Good Men Project (aka Paid Tools for Pussy Project) have mad the choice of blaming the user. Why? Because it fits their progressive pussy begging agenda and gets their paychecks signed.
Come on guys… man up for Pete’s sake!
Mark, you need to be much more careful when posting these advocacy opinions. Below is readily available information to anyone searching for betetr insight: Dr. Farley is the same “expert” witness in the Bedford v. Canada case – a sampling of the judge’s insights on their expert submissions:
“I found the evidence of Dr. Melissa Farley to be problematic. Although Dr. Farley has conducted a great deal of research on prostitution, her advocacy appears to have permeated her opinions.”
Judge questioning expert witness on the definition of violence:
“Changing the legality of prostitution does not change the “essential violence” that exists in prostitution; in cross-examination, Dr. Poulin defined violence as meaning a systemic power imbalance.”
Also, see the following critique of Dr. Farley, cosigned by approximately 20 odd researchers, who were less than congratulatory on her version of reality and research findings: “A Commentary on ‘Challenging Men’s Demand for Prostitution in Scotland”. You can find the full paper on line.
“This research on which this report is based was not grounded in empirical research ethics or a critical, objective method of producing knowledge.”
“This research violates fundamental principles of human research ethics in that there is no evidence of any benefit to the population studied. Rather the purpose of the research appears to have been to vilify the population of men who were chosen to be interviewed.”
“The report is based on the particular radical standpoint which holds that prostitution is violence towards all women and that voluntary consensual engagement in the sex industry is not possible.”
“It is assumed that all of the 110 interviewees who buy sex commit actual sexual violence against women.”
“There is ample counter evidence (such as Bernstein, 2001;2007) that indicate that clients are ‘normal’ and increasingly seeking ‘authenticity’, intimacy and mutuality rather than trying to fulfil any mythology of violent, non-consensual sex.”
As to the quotes provided by Dr. Farley – I find them t be highly questionable bordering on nonsensical. Can you imagine a researches asking a sex buyer why he pays for sex and them responding “to beat up women”. I mean, really…..
Well taken, Elissa–see Tom Matlock blog post making many of the same points:
http://goodmenproject.com/good-is-good/boston-study-claims-buying-sex-leads-to-violent-crime/
She is a scientist and is very forthcoming about shortcomings in earlier studies.
Rather than focusing on attacking this one woman’s credibility as a whole based on the results of one flawed study, why not consider the success Sweden has had with their model of changing men’s attitudes towards prostitutes?
It is not only Dr. Farley who holds this opinion that legalizing or normalizing prostitution leads to a greater demand, which leads to more trafficking and more underground prostitution (for those Johns who don’t like to wear condoms, or who like to beat the people they pay for sex).
We need many more studies like this.