It’s OK to Be Abandoned

Premium Membership, The Good Men Project

About Atalwin Pilon

Atalwin Pilon is a former bad boy from Amsterdam who had an experience of spiritual awakening at 32. Since that moment he committed to the truth and lives from his heart. Currently he is traveling the world on a quest for meaning, aiming to make a difference. Follow him on his blog Basic Goodness, Facebook and Twitter. You can try him out as your life coach too, if his voice speaks to you. Email him. He will be honored.


  1. I’m just wrapping up a sleepless night after coming to terms that my relationship may be coming to an end. It’s been my longest by far, and in all respects she is the most radiant and beautiful woman I’ve had the pleasure of being with.

    This article was unbelievably timely and….well, refreshing. It made me realize how much of a fear I have of being abandoned, or — even worse — replaced. And all along, I think I’ve blamed myself all too often for her reasons for creating distance; I’m sure there’s things I’ve done to exacerbate that, but I needed to recognize that she has every right to choose her own path. If I truly love her, then I can only fight for what’s fair for the both of us, then simply let her go.

    Thank you, Atalwin. I do hope you are able to take comfort that, in the midst of your pain, you’ve helped another man deal with his.

    • You are welcome, brother. Actually this piece was written a while a go. A lot has happened since. But this was my most important insight of 2011. And your feedback proves that a heartfelt message can arrive timely without losing it’s power. I am grateful for that. Take care,


  2. Mary Mary says:

    We can also feel abandoned even when it’s not a big committed sexual relationship… A longterm spiritual friendship and strong mutual attraction/vibe that sparks desire and longing and even some craving can get stuck in cultural or personal barriers. Like when one day, a dear yogi friend (who is a virgin, amazingly) announces that his mom is all he needs…

    Loving nonattachment is our best friend, ultimately. And relationships are a path of practice.

    In a recent experience I turned to the comforting thought “It’s OK to be abandoned” and it became a segway to “You are never abandoned by Love, no one has that power. ” (though yes, children can and do get abandoned – but I’m talking grown folks here).

    Endless Love arises when fear leaves the body, yes – and it amazes me. This is what adhittana is about… Strong determination, the resolve to keep becoming fully awakened and fearlessly be with everything that arises and passes away.

Speak Your Mind