On Tuesday, Kobe Bryant called referee Bernie Adams a “f***ing fag.”
Kobe called a ref “faggot” last night. Apparently he felt the ref’s lifestyle of CONSENSUAL anal sex made him look bad.
But objectively, quantitatively, how bad was Kobe’s comment? Based on public fines in the NBA over the last few seasons, I think I figured it out:
- It’s half as bad as conducting improper pre-draft workouts.
- It’s twice as bad as saying you want to leave the NBA and go home.
- It’s just as bad as talking about the collective bargaining agreement.
- It’s twice as bad as saying one of your players used to smoke too much weed.
- It’s just as bad as writing a letter in Comic Sans about a former player.
- It’s just as bad as saying you want to sign the best player in the NBA.
- It’s four times as bad as throwing a towel to distract a guy when he’s shooting free throws.
- It’s four times as bad as kicking a water bottle.
- It’s 10 times as bad as standing in front of your bench for an extended period of time.
- It’s 10 times as bad as pretending to be shot by a guy who once brought a gun into a locker room.
- It’s 13.33 times as bad as tweeting during a game.
- It’s five times as bad as throwing a ball into the stands.
- It’s four times as bad as throwing a towel into the stands.
- It’s twice as bad as lying about smelling like weed and having women in a hotel room during the rookie orientation program.
- It’s one-fifth as bad as snowboarding.
—Photo AP/Jae C. Hong
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