Is pursuing a relationship with a close friend worth a second shot?
Dear Sexes: I’ve been close friends with a guy that I met almost four years ago, and who I’ve had a crush on since the moment I met. Originally, he had liked me as well, an afterfact I was only exposed to recently, but he did not want to pursue a relationship at the time. He moved on to a girl completely different than myself in the second year of our friendship, but he was friendzoned in that pursuit. In that time, I convinced everyone that I was over him. I was wondering if I should try again.
She Said: This is love, my friend. At least potentially. Always try again when it comes to exploring love.
What’s the worst that could happen? He tells you that you guys are just meant to be friends? So what? You guys have already been down this road and survived it, you’ll survive it again, as long as you’re cool and respectful about it.
What’s the best that could happen? Love! With someone you know well, whom you like a lot. That’s worth risking almost anything…
He Said: Go after what you want! If you don’t try, you’ll never know what might have been. Who knows, maybe you and your “friend’s” timing was just off the first time around? However, if you do decide to leave the friend zone for a journey down lovers lane, you should keep a few things in mind: denial is not just a river in Egypt! The first time around he liked you, but he didn’t like you enough to get involved with you? In my experience, crushes that aren’t divulged in the present tense of when they’re felt, don’t really count as crushes. He was interested in a girl completely different from you (while you and your friendship were right in front of him)? Maybe you’re just not his type. He wasn’t interested in having a relationship (with you), but he was (with someone else)?
I’m sorry if I’ve taken all the air out of your love balloon, but sometimes love (and the truth) hurts. Regardless, we here at She Said He Said are proponents of chasing down your dreams, so… go try and get your man! Just remember, whatever the both of you did wrong last time, don’t do that this time around.
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Originally published at SheSaidHeSaid.
—Photo Rhys Asplundh/Flickr