Two enthusiastic and very clean thumbs up from Jesse Kornbluth in this product review.

So there we were in Las Vegas, waiting for a Cirque de Soleil show.

What do you do in a casino when you don’t gamble and you’re with a gang of kids?

The gift shop.

At Caesars Palace—no apostrophe necessary for these Caesars—this particular emporium was a combination candy store and joke shop.

The kids went for the candy.

I drifted over to the jokes.

You are the lucky beneficiaries.

For there, on a long shelf, were liquid hand soaps and sanitizers. They had “fresh meadow scent.” They were “fortified with Aloe Vera.” Mostly, they had terrific labels.

I was especially taken with “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Hand Soap, which features an attractive woman in a crisp white blouse and a neighborly smile shaking hands with a man in a suit. [To buy it from Amazon, click here.]

But it was so hard to choose! I also glommed on to “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Liquid Hand Sanitizer. [To buy it from Amazon, click here.]

And “Bitch Slap Those Germs” Hand Sanitizer. [To buy it from Amazon, click here.]

And “Divine Intervention” Hand Sanitizer. [To buy it from Amazon, click here.]

And “OCD” Hand Sanitizer. [To buy it from Amazon, click here.]

There were also some tin coin banks. My favorite proclaims: “I’m Savin’ Up For Some Good Weed!” [To buy it from Amazon, click here.]

The kids got candy. I got these. Most now reside in a cabinet. One will go by the sink in our guest bathroom before the next party.

And the rest? Well, it’s really just a matter of deciding which friends have a really good sense of humor. And wash their hands a lot.

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