Well-Endowed: My Tale of Woe

Pain, humiliation, and compression shorts: Being well-endowed ain’t as pretty as it looks.

I’ve got a big penis. This is my tale of woe.

I lost my virginity to my high school girlfriend, Claire. She had amazing skin and wild blonde hair. She also had a friend, Anna, who had a problem with us dating and made it her mission to harass me. I don’t remember how sex felt that first time, whether I came, or how long it lasted. I do remember being made fun of for the size of my penis a few days later.

Only a teenage girl could turn that revelation into a source of shame and embarrassment. Anna sauntered up to my lunch table where I sat, witless and surrounded by friends. “So, Charlie,” Anna announced to the table, “Claire was just telling us you’ve got a big cock!”

Our culture is built on the notion that bigger is better, and (depending on who your analyst is) the male reproductive organ is the root of it all. There are very few negative stereotypes associated with a sizable schlong. A large cock confers unflappable confidence in life. Sexual prowess is no problem for the well-endowed man; just a glimpse of his tumescence will send women everywhere into orgasmic fits.

Of course, the reality’s very different.


The most immediate problems are anatomical. On a personal level, the circumference of my head while erect slightly exceeds the comfortable limits of my foreskin. That’s most inconvenient when masturbating, as the skin gets pulled up and down on the head to varying degrees. During colder months, when my skin is dryer, I’ve masturbated my way to tiny lacerations around the edge of my foreskin.

During sexytime, I need to be on guard. A misdirected thrust can end congress for the night. Even just easing my entire penis into a vagina has caused the not-sexy kind of pain. I’ve also been told, without any preamble, that anal sex would never be on the menu. It wasn’t a huge blow. But to my hung brothers with posterior proclivities, I sympathize.

Then there are the accessories. If compression shorts cost as little as cotton briefs, I’d be wrapping up tight every day. Bouncy bouncy, fellas! Speaking of wraps, condoms pinch like Houdini’s handcuffs. Sure, normal-sized guys also complain about them, but I’m guessing that putting them on and taking them off isn’t supposed to actually hurt like it does. I also suspect that the pain and constriction contributes to my tendency to … overstay my welcome at times.

So: Magnums. Two hang-ups consistently prevent me from picking them up. A girlfriend suggested them numerous times when I complained about the pinch, but I was afraid Magnums would be too big—and that she’d be disappointed and/or turned off to find that her man wasn’t as big as she thought.

The second reason is that I simply do not want to be That Guy.


That Guy is my biggest problem with my biggest digit. All of those wonderful huge-dick stereotypes don’t apply unless everyone knows your big secret—and that’s just not going to happen. There is no casual way to spread the word that you’ve got a plus-size penis. Any attempt to disseminate information regarding your Richard will—nay, must—be met with skepticism, pity, and annoyance. At best people will assume you’re lying; at worst they’ll believe you and think you’re bragging. You look like a tool either way.

So, of course, I’m constantly tempted to be naked at inappropriate moments. I’ll convince myself that whipping it out is the end-all-be-all answer to certain problems. When my self-esteem takes a hit, it hides between my legs. Get turned down for coffee? If only she’d known about the stir-stick. How impressive is that guy’s six-pack? I bet he’s only got a six-inch.

Denying my atavistic urges creates a lot of stress. Even if someone finds out in the most ideal way—having sex with me—I get weirded out if she says anything about my cock outside of coitus. At my craziest, I fear that hearing it too many times will subconsciously turn me into a man content to let his fairer attributes wither away, left with the unearned sense of entitlement a titanic trouser trunk bestows.

In my day-to-day, I get by pretty well. I take time to get to know my partners inside and out before going Dirk Diggler on them. My underpants are supportive and affordable. I’ve learned to limit my onanism. I have even learned to accept compliments gracefully.

Looking at it this way I can appreciate how my penis has helped me. I’m more self-aware than I’d be if I’d been graced with an average member. In all honesty, I don’t hate my big penis. I just hate what having a big penis means to everyone else.

(Photo via K0P)


More from Sex Week at the Good Men Project:

Amanda Marcotte: What Women Don’t Tell You

Ed Fell: 10 Secrets to Satisfying Sex

Emily Heist Moss: Does Size Matter?

John DeVore: Multiple Inches of Love

Joshua Matacotta: Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?

Hugo Schwyzer: Mythbusting Bisexual Men


  1. Spot on with this write-up, I really think this amazing
    site needs much more attention. I’ll probably be back again to
    read more, thanks for the advice!

  2. Very descriptive blog, I loved thaat bit. Willl there be a part 2?

  3. Lol a big dick complaining no one cares man we feel so sorry for your big dick problem it’s such a problem what you have is a gift not a curse stop crying and use what was given to you there’s millions who would kill to have one never I actually thought I would hear a man complain about that it’s quite funny me and my girl can’t stop laughing at your problem the rest of us enjoy it you think it’s kinda bad cheer up like I said it’s a gift you should think that too

  4. I read this article because i am one of the women that do not look at over 7 inches being a good thing. i can offer some tips. First use lube! by yourself and with a partner. esp since it is causing foreskin pain for you. also look up condom sizing charts online. PLEASE! using a condom that does not fit properly, whether too big or too small, can significantly decrease its effectiveness.

    obviously choose positions carefully and try out some positioning pillows. If full penetration is out of the question with someone you can actually use a penis sleeve to make sure that you do not go all the way in.
    so please…lube and proper fitting condoms.

  5. You’re just fishing for sympathy. I would KILL for what you have, just because of the confidence and the fact that I know that I could please a woman. That is if I could get one without them judging the size of my member!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. The comments are so unsympathetic…

  7. I would actually be more impressed by your casual use of the word “onanism.” Impressive…vocabulary.

    • Screw you dude... says:

      Waaa waaa waaa…Women are coming forward these days with their preference for the larger sized man (even if only occasionally). I’m sick of hearing you blessed guys whining about how having a large wang isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. When you’re the guy who is with the girl who has had men larger than you and admits that big is good now and then, then complain. When the thought that you can never satisfy her like those larger men constantly pervades your thoughts, then complain. When you feel like less than a man because you are the perpetual “joke”, the non-well-endowed Black man, then complain.
      Until then, STFU about how your large penis causes YOU problems when in fact, your large schlong causes ME problems.
      (P.S. props on the “onanism” usage though LOL)

  8. I understand what you are saying about being extremely well endowed, but it is not a curse. Go ahead and buy the “Magnum” sized rubbers, that is why they make them. If only a few guys had big cocks they (the companies that make them) would not be spending the money that it takes to market them. I can’t get a regular sized condom on mine and was glad when they started marketing the bigger ones.I do get a chuckle out of the expression on the face of a sweet young checkout girl when she looks at them and turns a bit red in the face. When that happens, you know that she is wondering how it would feel to try a really big one.While it is true that every woman does not like a larger one, most of them want to try one at least once and many to of them, bigger is better.

  9. John Sheperd says:

    look dude….., Im 24 now and just graduated from college. I have always been big downstairs. I never had to worry about anything in bed. Just get the magnums for christ sake. I played sports in high school and when we went to take the showers after practice, it was nice having the biggest penis in the lockeroom. The girls always asked the boys if it was really as big as it was and they told them so I lost my virginity when I was 13. It gets people curious and then you wont ever have to worry about keeping a girl in your bed. And if they dont like it, then slap them upside the face with it lol

  10. Buy the magnums. That’s what they’re made for. There is NO good reason for you to be uncomfortable while using a condom. Sex is supposed to bring pleasure to both of the people involved.

    Take a deep breath, pick up the package of magnums, and go thru the line thinking matter-of-fact. THis is the size you wear. You’re not the only guy who needs them. Other guys genuinely need them too. You are not bragging or showing off, you’re buying something you need. It really is that simple – not easy perhaps, but simple.

  11. I have a 1 and a half inch penis. While erect. I feel so sorry for you with your problem. I shed a tear while reading your post. Must be tough.

  12. Are You Serious? says:

    Seriously dude? And yer crying about this? I’m sorry but I’d love to have your problem.

  13. So. In the imortal words of Detective Bunk: “I’m just a humble brother with a big swingin’ dick”…?

  14. The Bad Man says:

    I never encountered any foreskin problems but I’m kinda glad that I’m not circumcised. I don’t understand the dry skin thing, don’t you use lube?

    Doggy style is risky for going too deep, anal has never been an option or an interest. I had a short term GF in college that was a bit too tight and we had a hard time having enjoyable sex. A few years later I read the kama sutra and understood that some men and women aren’t made for each other. Many of my GFs have commented about big hands and feet being characteristic of a big member. They already know, you don’t have to tell them. If you want to tease them, wear tight jeans.

    Magnums are awesome, regular condoms are too restrictive and they’re hard to put on. Just buy them and smile at the clerk, it’s no big deal.

    I’ll wear boxers or briefs for support depending on my mood. Sometimes the boys get sore or it falls down one leg in tight jeans, it’s manageable.

    “I just hate what having a big penis means to everyone else.”…exactly!

  15. Everyone has different preferences. For most of my life, I had issues with painful sex, especially “doggie style”, because of my retroflex uterus (Google it). My current partner has a smallish-average penis (about 5.5 inches erect) and sex doesn’t hurt at all! In fact, doggie style is now one of my favorite positions. so, this just proves there is someone for everyone.

    • Jun Kafiotties says:

      5.5inchs isn’t smallish, that’s normal/average. Even 5 inchs is not small, porn has warped the views of many.

  16. I haven’t read through all of the comments here and if I’m the first to break it to you, I’m sorry, Charles, but if you can wear regular condoms, you don’t have a very large penis. It sounds like you’re probably a little longer and thicker than average. I know what it’s like to be the guy who buys Magnums. I’m the guy who has to buy Magnum XLs because the extra 1/8th (I believe that’s how much wider they are than regular Magnums) makes a real difference to me. Even the Magnum XLs are too constricting.

    While anal sex is usually off the table for me (not really my thing anyway), I’ve never had size be a huge issue when it comes to sex. I’ve also never had sex with a woman who I haven’t cause some amount of discomfort, and there’s usually some mix of discomfort and pain. This tends to go away if you’re in a relationship and having sex regularly.

  17. If you want to see the final word on this, goggle “Womens Preferred Penis Size Chart”. Guys, just a warning, you might be bummed out

  18. Heinz Scheiße says:

    Mein ding dong ist only 8 cm but she loves to me when I poop der big 24 cm on her tits. Das ist doch alles Scheiße!

  19. You guys are whiny. You should give them to more deserving girls!

  20. Size matters!! I need a big one that fills me up!!!

  21. hey

    i actually kinda stumbled upon this site. i’m glad i did though. I really like the content here, and i will also bookmark it and add your RSS feed so i can keep in touch.

    thanks, Eric

  22. I can’t believe they recycled this BOGUS colum with a new title. What is this supposed to make all us “average/normal” sized guys feel better about ourselves? You just don’t get it. It’s not the fact that we’re not the “biggest” guy on the block that bothers us. It’s all the double talk and outright lies that do it. To all you women with “average/normal” size guys I purpose a hypotheticial event. Let’s say that a cosmic event occurs and it causes all “average/normal” size men(oh hell, let’s include some below”normal average size guys too) to gain 1-2″ in length and lets say 25% or so in girth. Now, all you women that would be upset and angered by this event, please raise your hands. Anyone? Anyone at all? Somehow I didn’t think so.

    • Haha. Yes, I would be, actually. At the moment, my husband can go wild and it hurts in the good way. It hurts, but it isn’t incredibly painful. If he added another inch or two it would go to the point of not being pleasurable pain anymore. I’d choose 5.5″ over 7″ any day. But that’s just me.

  23. @MrBiggerThanBig said: “It’s the male version of the girl with big tits.”
    Yep, yours is the best comment so far. 😀
    Most men love big tits, and most women would like having them… but that doesn’t mean that having huge boobs comes without issues.
    I’m well endowed as well, and I’m grateful! 😀
    It has never got me any more girlfriends (as Charlie said, how could you “spread the gospel”? 😉 ), though, and sometimes it’s a limit (anal, no letting go and thrust wildly…).
    But I’m not complaining, honest. 🙂

  24. MrBiggerThanBig says:

    I can understand some of what this guys is saying. I too am well hung. In high school it was a bit of an embarrassment. Only because I was hard all the time! I remember guys on the swim team would stare at my wiener when I was dressing and that was embarrassing. However, no one said anything out loud. Plus, I was too afraid to check out their package so I did not even know how well hung I was. I also caught a student teacher staring at my bone while I was taking a test.

    Bottom line though…there isn’t a guy on the planet that doesn’t want an even bigger dick. So his BS about not wanting to try on a Magnum…come on. That was the first thing I did, hoping it would be tight…and it was.

    I hear all the time: “oh, I couldn’t possibly take you.” With enough oral stimulation everyone is willing to give it a shot and I have never had anyone make me stop because I was too big. You just have to go slow and make sure they are enjoying themselves. You also never slam a huge cock into someone unless you like damaging them internally.

    The only downside to being really well endowed is that often it feels like the only thing anyone wants you for is your cock. The question I had to ask myself was if it was my fault. At first my size was the most important thing. As I grew older I learned to really get to know someone before dipping my wick. It doesn’t mean that the first few dates were not because of the stories of how hung I am. However, I have learned that once I get to know someone, often times I do not want to sleep with them.

    It’s the male version of the girl with big tits.

  25. THIS COLUM IS TOTALLY BOGUS!! In fact , I think it was actually written by a woman pretending to be a man. Look, my best friend in my late teens and early twenties was “Hung”. In high school he had more girls wanting to “check him out” (a couple of teachers too!). When we graduated school and went out into the world, it got even crazier for him. While the rest of us tried every gimmick that was” Gaurented to get you girls”, he’d “hook up” with one, she’d tell all her friends,and the next thing you know, he”d have all these women stalking him. Not that it did the rest of us any good (they didn’t want a ride in a Honda, they wanted to ride the “stretch limo”). I guess you could say the only “curse of his endowment” is that with all these women chasing him, he really couldn’ be faithful to his girl. Although, she did keep forgiving him and taking him back. I mean after all, how was she going to replace that cannon.

  26. Sandra Kelly says:

    For me I don’t really enjoy a larger penis. I will say it’s nice to look at but when it comes to getting down to business give me mr. average who knows how to use it. There area couple things I found with my boyfriends who had bigger penises. They tended to think their size made up for a lack of trying to please me, as if just being penetrated by their large member should be enough. They also tended to be less willing to perform cunnilingus. I am not saying this is the case with every well hung male, just my experience with them. The average men all seemed to think they had to go above and beyond to prove themselves in bed. So maybe this whole large penis thing really works out for us women in the end.
    I did recently read a article about this that is worth a read for you men out there who think you have less to offer due to an average or below average penis.

  27. Being the wife of a well endowed man I really enjoyed this article. So many comments rang true as well the well endowed has it’s issues as does the not so well endowed but I am a woman and I will say that i disagree with Elizabeth a little. Having been with men of many sizes and talents, it is not all about the size. If you don’t’ know what you are doing or are not confident in that knowledge the size of your member doesn’t make a difference… It’s not gonna fuck on it’s own — it needs direction and assistance from your ten fingers, your tongue and your mind.

    We have been with a few girls that grumbled a bit at the size of my husband but I simply told them to embrace the big penis or get out of my way so i can 🙂 i thought oral and anal would be an issue but he is very gentle and patient and we have worked the anal treat for him into our playtime often enough that I actually enjoy it now. (the oral was not as much of an issue as i thought it would be – -guess i got a big mouth lol)

    This was a good read – I’ve shared it on twitter :))

    • I agree you definitely have to have some talent, but you have to have some size to go with it. If you have talent and size you are at a huge advantage.

  28. Sorry, this story doesn’t ring true. Big dick or small, anyone can have insecurities about it. Anyone can want their bad boy to be a different size. I’m sure that size can make sex unpleasant. But to have opposite insecurities in the same breath–that it might be too small for Magnum condoms, and yet too big for anal sex? Doesn’t ring true.

    This sounds like typical magazine article “let’s talk about all the things we can worry about” boilerplate.

    Also, for your information, Magnums are not that much bigger than regular condoms. Look it up, the facts are out there.

  29. I hate you and your giant dick .. lol

  30. SomeGuy says:

    To you, Mr. Charlie, let me say, on behalf of all us “average” guys quite frankly, that I honestly have ZERO sympathy for you. I’m sorry, but someone finally needs to stand up and admit that they are tired of highly endowed men blubbering the “oh i wish i was normal wah-wah-wah” thing. Its really getting old to me. I am of average size (7 inches erect) and have been that way since i was a teen. I used to look down at it with a bit of pride I’ll admit, but still used to wish that it would get a lil bigger by the time i was in my 20’s. Im 23, and its not gonna get any bigger, and I’ve resigned to that fact. But let me tell you, it is the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard, to be patronized by guys with huge members. Give me a break. Thats like millionaires telling poor people how much they wish they had it like them. I’ve done countless hours of online reading, as well as general guy talk (or rather, listening to what other guys are saying when they’re not being judged), and the consesus is that guys like me, who are 7 inches, are extremely common. I thought mine was at least a little on the “above-average” side, but as it turns out, it is just that-average. EVERY SINGLE guy I know that’s my age is also packing a LEAST 7 inches, most of them are around 8. Even my wife has met a few bigs one before she met me. And suddenly, Im not so special anymore. Confidence, say goodbye. But when I guy who can drop jaws with his presence comes along and acts like I got it better, please. I’d kill to be that guy, if for nothing else for the sheer confidence alone. I’m sorry to attack you like this, but enough is enough. Be grateful or get it chopped off-choice is yours. Either way, stop bitching.

    Thumbs up if you agree.

    • A guy with 7 inches is jealous? Get. Over. It.

      • I’m in the same boat as SomeGuy and I agree completely with what he’s saying. Girls/Women like big cocks. You all can talk about love and talent all you want but a guy with a large schlong has an advantage. I’ve been called “adequate” which basically means I’m not going to break up with you b/c your penis is too small, but I’ve seen/been with bigger and I liked it. Someguy be glad to at least be big enough.

    • I agree that the complaints of a big penis get old, but I would MUCH rather have average, not big. And 7 inches average? All the guys you know much be full of shit. Average is just under 6 inches. I forget the stats for 7 inches, but only about 3% of guys have a 8″ or bigger penis. I believe 7 inches was around 20%.

      And yes, anything bigger than about 7 is never going in my rear. Even “regular” sex is painful for me with a guy even slightly above average. So, in short, you can quit whining too while you’re at it. Some women want it huge, others (like me) prefer it around 5-6 inches.

  31. GirlGladForTheGMP says:

    I think I’ve commented previously on the topic of size…but guys, big or small, when you have a mutual love or care for the person with whom you’re sleeping, you will find a way to make it work, regardless of too big or too small.

    Note to both Charles and Pong: for every size man, there is an equally equipped woman. Some are big enough to accomodate, some can only accomodate a very small amount. Have some fun finding your match!

  32. Oh my, that sounds cumbersome…love the last lines the best…

  33. Do you have to hold your dick up when using a toilet to keep said digit from dipping into the water or sliding against the inside of the bowl?

  34. As far as this subject goes, Señor Charlie, I see the difficulties of your salami issues. I get that it is a serving for 2 (even 3) but you gain little sympathy. Mr. Pong has it a bit tougher. =)

    PS: Are you sure that friend of your HS girlfriend didn’t want you to stick it to her? Just saying. =)

  35. My penis is 3″ long when fully erect, and the girth is just as much a joke! So all I can say to you Mr. Giant Dong is you think you got it bad?!?! You might have felt embarrassed that a girl made fun of how big your cock is, but you can never imagine the humiliation I felt when my ex-gf’s best friend told me I was dumped because of how small my pecker is! Confidence out the window!

    • Eek! Sorry about your dong, Pong. I’ve been reading these articles/blogs because I am trying to see where my toolman stands when he…well…stands. The general consensus of it all is that it is not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean that really counts.

      If anything, be a master of the tounge….

      After that, there won’t be a window big enough (or a reason) for your confidence to be thrown out of it. =)

      • Elizabeth says:

        Ah the old “size vs motion” meme—to be honest, that’s what we women say when pressed for comment. It kind of parallels with the “Does this dress make me look fat?” thing…it’s a loaded question, and penis size is an unfair discussion in mixed company, because women get that it’s not ok to speak the truth and risk hurting others in the group/room about it.
        But it’s not what we want or mean in our hearts. I do not know a single women who would agree with it, and believe me, we share enough to make your gyno blush.

        Within a general range, it might apply, but in truth, every woman has her own perfect size range, and outside of that, it’s just not the same. Too small is too small, and too big is too big…it’s kind of a crucial aspect to the mechanics of coitus, and it always feels loaded when these discussions come up.

    • Happy Homo says:

      Wow, only 3 inches hard? Have you ever thought of shaving all of your body hair off and marketing yourself as a submissive little boy who will never be a man? Just trying to be helpful here.

    • I completely understand your frustration, Pong. My penis is barely 3.5″ when erect.
      I guess it is what it is, given our Asian persuasion.

  36. Happy Homo says:

    Got some advice, big guy: Ditch the bitch and make the switch. You’ll never spend a night alone.

  37. The LAST thing I want to hear a guy complain about it that his cock is too big. Seriously? I can understand if a guy’s cock is small — now that is something to complain about! And that foreskin he’s complaining about…why does he still have it? If my cock hurt when it got hard and blistered when I was having “alone time” with it, you think I wouldn’t get it circumcised? What motivates a guy to write an article like that? Personally, I’ve got the perfect cock…just like every other guy’s…now, if it was juuussst a little bigger, just like every other guy’s!

  38. You can always get a reduction.

  39. Henry Vandenburgh says:

    I love the new boxers cut out of brief material. They don’t have the “no underpants” feel of the thin boxers we had in the Army, but they don’t mash your genitals like the “normal” briefs. Get um at WM.

  40. Asshole says:

    Hey dumbass just use the Magnum XL’s and stop complaining. Don’t be a pussy

  41. Jameseq says:

    Offthepeg trousers and jeans have standardised crotches and leg width, and may not have enough space in them. Which for me means constant standing up to readjust and allow the penis to sit in a comfortable manner.

    The tight crotch in mens clothing is also why alot of men sit with their legs apart shoulder length apart. I find The fabric traps the penis in one position not allowing it to move freely when sitting, causing discomfort if i try to sit crosslegged or with my legs together

    • Jameseq says:

      I would wear the low crotch (crotch at midthigh level) trousers that are weirdly marketed at the gender with internal genitals, but not the one with external genitals.
      But the fabric is too thin, flimsy and almost seethrough!! Ive no idea how women can feel comfortable in them. plus why do women’s trousers have very tiny pockets?

  42. Jameseq says:

    Mens underwear with its tight crotch not only causes curvature, but i feel in some average and other men also reduces/restricts penis growth during puberty.
    The penis is soft flesh with no bone. Note how Toes with bones take the shape of shoes

    Mens underwear is badly designed. Plus tousers + underwear keep testicles too hot reducing sperm fertility. An issue in the west

    Finally, Men Do not be afraid of skirts, dresses and loose pants – our hardy male ancestors wore them, and were totally masculine

  43. Jameseq says:

    You may not need a circ, try stretching exercises of the foreskin.

    About underwear discomfort, i hang the penis out of my boxer flap, you could try that to give you more space. All Mens underwear is effectively female – there is no space in the crotch. For large men during puberty growth this can also deform the penis – it did in my case.
    Im thinking of making my own low crotch underpants

    Also 4 more space, abandon trousers. Consider wearing a seattle-kilt or harem pants that also have a low crotch

  44. Hi there, Charles. I came across your article very much by accident. But I have experience with guys with big dicks, so let me dispense whatever wisdom I can.

    First of all, I’m very sorry to hear you have hangups about your penis. I can really see some of these hangups. You don’t understand where your penis fits into the mass range of penii out there. Your penis sounds like a shower, not a grower. This is in many ways worse than having a grower, because when you’re not hard, it’s taking up far too much space in your crotch region. This is something that simply must be endured, like so many of us who have unusual physical attributes. (Ignore comments from the envious – they should be glad they don’t have to deal with a physical outsize problem like this.)

    You need to let go of thinking of yourself in a range of stereotypes. You won’t be happy until you learn to own yourself and your own body. It’s yours and you have it for life so stop thinking about what other people think. “Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen” has great advice along these lines.

    You are not defined by your penis size. Your penis size, in fact, even has little to do with sex itself once we’re out of immediate post-virginal, high school experiences. Skill is everything, and you need to acquire more of it so you don’t hurt people. The more turned on and sensual your partner is feeling when it gets to penetration, the less likely it is to hurt. Turned-on vaginas can accomodate dick more easily.

    You do need to address the foreskin issue but for the love of God, don’t lop it all off. Study up on how many nerve endings are in there and imagine how much sensation you’ll be losing. You can get it clipped so as to accommodate an expanding head without losing the majority of your glans’s sensitivity.

    Go buy Magnums and try one on while alone. The idea that a condom can only be put on while in the company of a woman who might be disappointed that you’re not actually “that large” – I hope someday you can see how self-defeating and neurotic that is, and beat it with your acquired confidence in yourself.

    And incidentally, Claire was being a thoughtless bitch.

  45. Kathryn says:

    My partner is similarly endowed, in fact he could have written this if it weren’t for the bit about not buying Magnums. (My hassling him actually worked.)

    Seriously, my friend, just go pick some up. Condoms are not supposed to pinch and hurt and you are doing yourself a disservice to not find a condom that fits. It doesn’t make you That Guy, it makes you a guy who doesn’t view condom use as painful.

  46. I sympathize, but at the same time want to smack you for your hangups about buying Magnums! Dude, at least give it a try. The condom issues you’re describing do not sound fun, and they might be entirely unnecessary for you to deal with. If you can’t buy them because it’s too embarrassing, why not have someone else buy you some, or order ’em off the Internet? Having a big dick doesn’t make you “that guy” so why would buying condoms that fit you make you “that guy”? C’mon!

  47. Samantha says:

    Oh, give me a break. You’ve got a giant cock. Own it. How can you expect anyone to love and appreciate what you’ve got when you don’t? Seriously, people will complain about anything. Or, is this just a complaint/brag? (How in the world am I going to move all of these gold bricks? They’re so heavy!)

    I was with a man for almost 20 years who was very well-endowed (regular condoms were not even an option). I can’t imagine him ever complaining about, mentioning, or even thinking much about his size. It just was what it was, like every other fabulous part of him. And the sex was amazing.

  48. GayDude says:

    Come over to the dark side, dude. Trust me when I say you won’t lack for “entertainment”.

  49. SizeQueen says:

    Please shut up about the boobs. I want to hear about the LARGE COCK.

  50. If you’re having foreskin issues, there might be an actual medical problem that needs to be addressed. May have to get circumcised. I did it at 19 and it sucks, but it feels soooo much better now. Doesn’t feel like I’m getting stabbed with needles every time I wank it.

  51. Maria DR says:

    Yes, yes, another female with big boobs, but unlike other posters, I wouldn’t say it’s quite the same experience. As you mentioned in your article, you are usually the one who decides whether you want to announce your endowment to prospective partners, whereas ummmm yeah, big boobs are just pretty much there. A guy who approaches me to talk to my boobs is getting nowhere and I can understand your concern about a woman who might approach you on that same level.

    On the other hand, your endowment neither enhances nor negates your other qualities. They stand on their own. If you connect with a woman and want to share that side of yourself with her, I don’t think she would judge you by your condom choice (I know I wouldn’t). She might even be thrilled that you were considerate enough to have one at the ready. If you’re worried about a Magnum making you That Guy, remember there’s always the Magnum XL… let that guy be That Guy. 🙂

  52. I love big dicks. But I’m not always wild about the guys they are attached to, since (in my experience) their owners so often seem to feel it’s a viable substitute for any sort of learning or self-development. Yes, I’m sure big dick = confidence, but I don’t see any reason why its presence should prevent a person from learning to be an amazing husband, or even developing some bedroom skills besides “the dramatic reveal.”

    Break this stereotype, giant wang man! Go out there and be so awesome that your dick is no longer your main selling point!

  53. I agree with T. Its a blessing and a curse. I have big boobs. This means I get a lot of male attention (wanted or not) simply because of my cup size. Big boobs are kind of the female equivalent to a giant schlong. Its nice to have cleavage, but PMS is hell, going bra-less is not an option, and people make all sorts of assumptions about you based on how well you fill out a top. Yes yes, many girls (and guys) have said “how lucky you are!” and I know people on here, like Daddy Files, will say “oh boo hoo you poor thing”. But it exactly like a “grass is always greener” situation. There are good things about having big boobs or a big cock, but it isn’t unadulterated fabulousness all the time either. There are good things and bad things. My current boyfriend is in the same boat as you, and it can present problems for both of us. Bigger is not always better, there are good things and bad things. Men are more than their dicks, and women are more than their breasts. I liked your post, thanks for writing it and sharing your thoughts.

  54. I guess its that “grass is greener on the other side” effect. Just as this shows that having a large penis is not all its cracked up to be having a small penis has its own baggage.

  55. Wow. That’s rough. I feel for you. In related news: I’ve grown weary of being too rich, popular and awesome. I’m also having too much sex.

    But seriously, this was a good read. While I do have a (ahem) hard time feeling sorry for your particular “problem,” I can see how this could present unique challenges. And yes, I would imagine being That Guy is the hardest part. But you’re right, there’s no way for you to not be that guy. As I was reading this I thought “He’s either totally overestimating himself. And if he’s telling the truth…fuck him and his donkey dick!”

  56. You’re not the first man I’ve heard mention problems with being so well-hung. It’s sort of like me being blessed with very large breasts… they may look good but dang… what I would give to be able to wear an itty bitty bikini without worrying about spillage. And during PMS, don’t even think about them. It hurts!

    I did have sex with one such well-endowed man and yes, anal sex was definitely out. I enjoyed having sex with him. What I did NOT enjoy, however, was how he would strut around naked proudly displaying his member. Have some humility, sir! Yes, I see it. How could I not see it?! Sheesh.

    Good luck. And, um, make the most of it. ;)’


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