“He who stops being better stops being good.”
Oliver Cromwell
I’m not saying don’t be nice. I’m just saying it’s not enough.
Nice is defined as “pleasing and agreeable in nature”. It’s a behavior that can be seen as being relatively superficial in impact.
On the other hand, good is defined as “of a favorable character or tendency”. It is seen as a reflection of moral excellence and good behavior. Not good behavior by itself.
On the surface, being nice and being good can look the same. The important difference is what lies underneath.
If you’re only nice, you can be seen as going along to get along. You don’t have to take a position that will make the people around you uncomfortable. You try to please others so you will be accepted.
Other times it can be seen as a ploy to get what you want. So the “niceness” comes and goes.
Neither one of those positions inspires trust or admiration.
But being nice because you’re actually a good guy will.
Good guys are kind, generous, and supportive because they have a moral center. For them, being nice isn’t a superficial behavior. It’s a reflection of who they are at their core.
Good guys don’t stay quiet when they see inappropriate or harmful behavior going on. They don’t remain silent when their mother makes an unkind remark about their wife. They don’t just smile when someone tells an off-color joke.
Good guys are secure in who they are so they don’t get defensive when someone critiques them in a less than positive way. They listen respectfully, take in what is appropriate, and let go of the rest.
Good guys make others feel safe and secure because they behave in consistent and honorable ways.
Good guys are nice, kind, generous, and protective because they see everyone as valuable. They don’t see themselves as better than anyone else.
It is these qualities and behaviors that make everyone around you feel seen, heard, and valued.
And isn’t that how you want those you love to feel?
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Previously Published on The Hero Husband Project republished with permission and is republished on Medium.
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