If you want to move past the disappointments in your life, stop being so hard on yourself.
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Indulgeo vestri.
I could have just written the words in English.
Two words.
A simple sentence.
Forgive yourself.
But I wrote them in Latin.
I wrote them in another language, a dead language, because so many of us find self-forgiveness a foreign concept, a state not available to us in this lifetime.
Self-criticism, self-blame, self-loathing for all our sins of commission and omission feel so much more familiar.
The hair shirt fits better than the silk robe.
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The hair shirt fits better than the silk robe.
Our palm closes easily around the cat-o-nine-tails instead of spreading open.
“I suck” and “I screwed up” come tripping off our tongues, along with “It’s all my fault.”
No matter how small you may feel, try these words on for size:
Forgive yourself.
You married a crazy person, had kids, and rue the impact of your partner’s dysfunction – and your own – on their lives.
Forgive yourself.
You set aside your career, shelved your dreams, and don’t know how to get your groove back.
Forgive yourself.
You failed to keep up with an old friend and fear the guilt that will follow reconnecting.
Forgive yourself.
You’re not with the person you want to be with.
Forgive yourself.
You’re not at the place in life where you deserve to be.
Forgive yourself.
You’re not yet the person you want to be, the person you know you can be, the person you know you’re called to be.
Forgive yourself.
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Forgive yourself first.
Then figure out how you got where you are, what’s stopping you from being where—and who—you want to be.
Most mistakes result from poorly informed decisions and choices, and the information you needed to do it differently—the traffic report recommending the detour, the weather report recommending the umbrella, the allergy report recommending that you stay indoors—was not available.
You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.
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You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time.
And now you know better.
Much better.
And it’s never too late.
It’s never too late to exercise your power to change.
To replace regret with intention.
To trade shame for vulnerability.
To stop hiding and show your self to the world.
To awaken from the nightmare and start living the dream.
To click your heels three times …
… and come home.
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Source: 30dB.com – Self Forgiveness
The overall positives are encouraging but the sentiment terms in blue tell the real story. Looks like social media sees the importance of the concept. –Howard K. 30db
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Originally published on Tom Aplomb
Photo—Wikimedia Commons