Before I get to the main event, I have something very cool to tell you. I was recently approached by Bad Online Dates and was asked to contribute to their site. They like my writing style and thought I would be a good fit. My first post is now up and I wanted to share it with you.
This is a paying gig and I’m very excited about this. The first article is really interesting. They have a Man’s POV section and a Woman’s POV section. My assignment was: Man’s POV: How it makes me feel when…She won’t date me because I’m a single dad.
And now, the Douche of the Week!
Many thanks to those that sent in nominations for our Douche of the Week feature. There were several great nominations. but in the end, there were two that clearly stood out above the rest. This week I’m selecting co-douches. If you don’t like the fact that I’m selecting two, feel free to nominate me for next week’s DOTW.
After the winning stories, I’m posting some of the other nominees. Don’t forget to send in your nominations for next week. Leave a comment here with your nominee or use the “Contact JR” button at the top of the page. You identity will remain completely hidden, because I’m all about the stealth. Consider me to be Alfred the butler.
To be considered for next week, I need your story by midnight Monday. The nominees can either be public figures, people you personally know or the ass who did something something shitty in your daily life.
And the winners losers are:
The a-hole boss
I went on my first job interview after grad school. My interviewee was a short little middle aged man with large rimmed glasses. After my interview, all the young women I would be working with asked him how the interview went and how I was. He said, “I don’t know how good a therapist she’ll be, but she has big knockers so I’m going to hire her.”
Ummmm….hello…..you don’t say that kind of crap to the group of young women (whom you hired) about a young woman you are about to hire! (Captain Inappropriate)
Flash forward to the time I had to go out of town with him to a training seminar. Watching him cheat on his wife whom we all adored with one of our fellow co-workers whom we also adored but wanted to strangle for letting his nasty ass lips touch hers was torture. I still gag at the thought of him.
The bad dad
I would like to nominate my soon to be ex husband for “Douche of the Week”. I don’t even know where to start with this. I guess I should start with the fact that he and I have 2 kids together. He also has a 9yr old from a previous marriage.
While were were ‘together’ he told me that I was not allowed to mention or ask about his older son because he was not my son and not my responsibility. If I ever asked about him I was told to “know my roll”. He only ever saw his older son once or twice a year (he lives 2 hours away).
Now that we are separated he only sees his kids for a total of (max) 40 hours a week. That’s if he has them for his every other weekend. He is consistently late picking them up and early dropping them off. If I even dare to ask him if he wants to see his kids more I’m told to “not pressure him or he won’t see them at all.” I should add that he lives 2 miles down the road from me.
Because he is in the military, he recently found out that he is being moved to Seattle for the next 7 years. Then he found out that he is too fat to go and has been delayed by 5 months. he was not planning on telling me that he was being delayed and decided to not see his kids for 3 weeks…..did I mention that he lives 2 miles down the road?
My favorite moment was when I found out that he was going on vacation for a week starting the day I found out…which was also the day he was supposed to pick the kids up from daycare. I found out on Facebook. he said he totally ‘forgot’ about the kids.
I should also mention that he ‘forgets’ about his kids on average 3 times a month. FORGETS.
The contenders:
The Pizza Guy
This one is more of a genre of douche bag known as the New Jersey car dealer. This is the type of sales person who allows a potential customer to drive anywhere from 1-2 hours from another state to look at a car that he/she had already sold earlier that day, thereby forcing said potential client to browse some “alternate” selections that are either way out of their price range or piles of dogshit on wheels. This happened at two different dealers in one week. Thanks, NJ.
Where do I begin?
1 – Douche Deadbeat Dad…I want to beat this guy senseless.
2 – Charlie Sheen is awesome. I am sorry, but he is bat shit crazy and he is so unashamed of it that I can’t help but to love him.
LOL
OMG— how in the hell did i miss this contest????? I would have come in first, second, and third…. ESP with the Wednesday Night Guy!
Thank you so much for letting the bad dad (aka: The Donor) be the co-douche of the week. I was seriously debating emailing him the link to your blog so he could see what a good job he’s doing. Added to his wonderfulness this week: threatening to put a restraining order on me because I told him I would have him arrested for breaking into my house. He totally has a case right? lol
Have you heard about the women who are now “walking away” from full time motherhood? It’s absurd but my necessity to play devil’s advocate forced me to use a guy like this dad as a defense. But I still don’t get it.
I posted on my blog about it, but don’t want to be that asshole self-promoter so I will abstain from adding my link.
I think your blog is funny and yeah awesome … for sure there are a lot of decent women out there who will date you just because you are a single dad .. for some reason girls thinks that single dads are responsible men lol. Thanks for sharing your stories!
Congrats on the new gig! #assslap Gettem champ!
Have I mentioned I love this new feature?! The world is full of douchers…this shit could go on FOREVER! You know I’m holding on to a *few* prime contenders…and not just the meth addicted he-whore! Oh no….I’ve got lots more (he was just the craziest)
Chopper Papa – I agree with The Muse, I would love to help out if you need an extra, extra set of hands. I used to think my ex was insane, until I started reading about other ex’s.
JR-Congrats on the paying gig! That is awesome!!!!!!
Thanks Paulette and everyone else who congratulated me on the paying gig. It’s not a lot, but everything helps, ya know?
Chopper Papa- I would gladly help if you need an extra set of hands.
I have to say, the deadbeat dad clearly out-douches the boss. But, and please forgive me as I don’t want to be rude, as I read about the boss, 2 questions came to mind. 1) if you knew he was saying that about you, why would you take the job? And 2) have that documented!! That is clear sexual harassment and should not be allowed in any workplace from anyone (male or female).
Can I have the address of the bad dad? I would love to punch that m’effer right in the pie hole, tie him up to a tree, and whip the ever living sh*t out of him. Then I’d castrate his arse, he doesn’t deserve the privledge to be a dad.
I want my exs to be the next I can give you a stellar interview on a man name richard a foltz sr located at a lauriel hills prison in pa. How he thinks everyone eles including welfare should pay for his children. He decided he needed a cell by himself and asked me to tell them he’s gay. Well the gay part was so true. And stealing from his own kids. Jr you want more you know who I am .I will give you the details including refusing to sign a passport for son to go to canda unless… Read more »
congrats on the paying gig! hope no douchebags prevail!