What makes life beautiful is it always allows us to redeem ourselves no matter the situation we may be facing. If you think about it, every day we are presented with countless moments that have the power to impact us: according to Nobel prize winner Daniel Kahneman, we experience on average 20.000 moments in a day.
The difference, ultimately, lies in how we choose to live those moments and the approach we take to make decisions. Our environment is constantly changing with so many factors influencing the direction we can take in our decisions. To help us navigate in the wonderful world of complexity known as life, I thought it would be a good idea to share 3 powerful techniques you can apply to help you better deal with adversity and challenging situations. These 3 mental models I am going to talk about are particularly powerful as they allow us to develop greater emotional intelligence, resilience, and analytical thinking, all critical skills for our personal and professional success!
1)Delaying gratification
Sometimes we are faced with scenarios requiring us to put up with something in the short term to gain in back in the long run. Yet there and then it feels like a ton over our shoulders: welcome to the power of inertia, one of the great laws of nature.
Meet Paul… Its 5 pm on a Friday and he is about to finish work. He has 2 options. Option 1 is to scroll on his social media to see what his friends have been up to and call it a day. Option 2 is to finalise that important report on how to improve the customer experience so that on Monday he can start working on his new deadline. Which option is he going for? The report right???
Of course not, are you kidding me!? You really think I am going to spend the last 30 minutes of my work week doing something so intense? I’ll do that on Monday.
Understandable. But is it really what is most useful for his growth?
The point here is not to discuss whether his choice is right or wrong but rather if that choice is the most useful.
So the challenge here is to fight your inner inertia. Next time you find yourself after dinner and have the choice between binging on 3 episodes of your favorite tv series or reading an inspiring book that can help you grow simply ask yourself: What is most useful? What is the “cost” (or if you prefer opportunity!) for my growth of taking the simple option vs the difficult one?
Nobody is perfect and we might not able to always resist temptation however just marginally improving our inner inertia “score” can go a long way. Delaying instant gratification can bring us greater fulfillment and long term success.
2)The power of WHY
There is no doubt life at times can feel like a massive puzzle full of problems to solve requiring lots of effort from our end.
We all know that during our time at work we can easily get caught up in daily problems and challenges. Our inability to deal with them effectively can make us feel overwhelmed or confused which ultimately impacts our ability to get to the root cause of our problem. Specifically, when we try to come to terms with a particular result we did not expect, we tend to get frustrated and look at things superficially.
That is where asking WHY can become a powerful “insight unlocker”. Not just once as that can barely scratch the surface but multiple times to dig deeper into uncharted territories. This approach, also known as the 5 WHYs, was made famous by people at Toyota who used it to solve a production issue. What’s beautiful about this approach is it forces you to be honest with yourself and while it can feel frustrating at first, it’s a great way to strengthen your reasoning.
So the next time you experience an undesired outcome, go down by the 5 WHY method to get to the root cause of the problem. Don’t stop until you have found a satisfying answer(sometimes it can be less than 5). You will be pleasantly surprised!
3)Looking at the other side of the coin.
Emotions, emotions, emotions…don’t we all get carried away at times? They undoubtedly can make us feel like we are on a roller coaster. We experience them continuously throughout the day whether it is feeling excited about a potential business lead or stressed about having to confront a family member.
Emotions are simply put a feedback mechanism of how we are experiencing a particular event. There is no right or wrong, it’s just how we choose to perceive things! Emotions are the result of a subjective and temporary state of mind and therefore it’s important to become aware of them to understand what’s most useful to us. In this process of self-awareness, it’s key to learn how to take a step back and not overindulge in our emotions as they can often lead to poor decision making.
So the next time you feel worried, stressed, frustrated about a particular activity or task, take a moment, and ask yourself: What can this event teach me? How can it make me better? What is there that I may not be seeing that could serve me? How can I be grateful for what is happening to me?
Often the quality of our lives depends on the quality of the questions we ask ourselves and these mental models are practical tools to change the way you look at things and get back in the driving seat.
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Previously Published on 3essentia.com
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