Ethan Miller, a student at American University, says that truly addressing the problem of sexual assault will mean changing the way we think about it.
This piece was originally published at the Huffington Post.
This week marks the beginning of sexual assault awareness month for campuses and communities across the nation. For many, it is a month marked by guest speakers, consent workshops and Take Back the Night. For those of us on college campuses, where one in four women are raped, sexual assault awareness cannot end on April 30.
Preventing sexual assault takes more than giving women whistles or self-defense training. It takes more than safe-ride programs, well-lit streets and emergency blue phones lining college quadrangles. Among college women, nine in 10 survivors of sexual assault knew their attacker previously and only about 5 percent of rapes are reported to law enforcement. What is needed is a serious shift in the current culture that pervades our campuses, where girls who wear short skirts and tight shirts at parties are “asking for it” and where guys “score” when they have sex with extremely intoxicated girls at parties.
We aren’t going to be able to change rape culture in a single month. Do not get me wrong; I think that sexual assault awareness month is a great way of raising the profile of sexual assault issues on campus and educating the public. But I think that everyone has an imperative to continue working to eradicate sexual assault throughout the year.
So here is the million-dollar question: How do we end rape culture? I think that the only obvious answer is that there is no one easy, obvious answer, and it will not be a fast transition. We have to change the prevailing narrative of masculinity, which currently revolves around roles of dominance and sexual conquest. We have to promote a culture of consent and encourage critical thought of the roles that parties and alcohol play in forming sexual relationships. And we have to make sure these messages of change reach everyone within our campus communities, not just feminist activists and allies.
How do we get our messages of change out in the public? It’s not as simple as telling people that rape is bad. According to Daniel Rappaport, Sexual Assault Prevention Coordinator at my school, American University, “You cannot change a culture by saying ‘this is wrong,’ saying that this is how it has got to be, but rather through education, broadening perspectives and meeting people where they’re at.” That means not necessarily using language that I could find in my gender studies courses, like “patriarchy” and “systems of oppression,” but rather helping people (usually men) understand that sexual assault is a serious issue that affects them and the people that they care for and love.
This can be done through groups such as Men of Strength, the campus affiliate of Men Can Stop Rape, which engages men and boys in critical examinations of masculinity in middle school through college. There is also the potential for high-profile male feminist speakers on campus, such as Don McPherson, NCAA football hall of famer and pro-feminist activist, who recently came to my campus to speak to students about the problems with derogatory language in an event called “You Throw Like a Girl.” What made this event so successful is the fact that all members of campus sports teams, fraternities and sororities were mandated to come to the event. With such large turnout, there was a huge opportunity for his message to reach those who would not normally come to an event about critical masculinity, and McPherson was able to reach these athletes, fraternity brothers and sorority sisters not as an academic, but as a NCAA hall of famer.
When it comes down to the struggle against sexual assault on campus, every little bit helps. Every person who realizes that we live in a society dominated by hegemonic masculinity and joins the fight against it is a victory. Every sexual assault survivor who becomes empowered to speak out and support other survivors is a victory. However, we cannot lose sight of the ultimate victory: eradicating sexual assault and replacing our current rape culture with a culture of consent. But this goal will not be achieved unless we continue to have conversations, programs and events not just in April, but during every month of the year.
Photo— Matt_Baldry/Flickr
Ok if we’re going to focus on sexual assault, can we please address the lowered standard for evidence and amazing number of falsely reported rapes?
Can we please address the way that men who are accused get villified in the media while their accusers remain anonymous?
Or is this only about women?
You cannot teach people if you are being condescending, and you cannot reach them if you act like their victimization does not count. So true. Being exposed to anti-rape campaigns which left out male victims and absolutely never ever mentioned male victims of female perpetrators only fueled my anger and distrust at women for quite a while after I was raped. “If what happened to me was not even worth mentioning then why the hell is it so important when it happens to women” is a question I wanted to ask before I decided that what happened to me was… Read more »
““If what happened to me was not even worth mentioning then why the hell is it so important when it happens to women.”
This is pretty much why I don’t support any services, rights, or freedoms for women at all.
I feel the frustration (and Tamen makes a very good point that needs to be addressed) but ultimately not supporting services, rights, and freedoms of women would damn us all. We’re all in this together and the “F U I’m gonna get mine!” attitude doesn’t help in the long run.
A couple of people have brought up the 1 in 4 statistic. Mary Koss asked the female respondents in her study to list unwanted sexual encounters starting when they were 13-years-old until their mid twenties. There was no context given, meaning that Koss did not ask where or when the assaults occurred. The 1 in 4 result does not represent the rate of sexual violence that happens against women in college, but rather represents the rate of sexual violence against females by the time they are in college. As for addressing sexual violence on college campuses, I do know how… Read more »
Ethan
One definition of rape culture according to Shakesville is not talking about rapes that happen.
Doesn’t that make all that campus rape culture activism and your article here that tell only one half of the story rape culture?
End “rape culture” ? that’s not happening, ever.
There will never come a point where rapes and sexual assaults aren’t being commited.
– This ridiculous idea that if we just tell men who commit rapes that it’s wrong they’ll stop needs to end.
These are sick individuals who aren’t concerned about being wrong.
– We need discussions on alcohol consumption, when you get drunk you become vulnerable and sick individuals prey on vulnerable people.
Also we need to start dicussing with both men and woman that humans aren’t mind reading, if you don’t want to have sex TELL YOUR PARTNER.
“Preventing sexual assault takes more than giving women whistles or self-defense training.”
Indeed. It includes training women on how women commit sexual assault. Sex with a drunk man is rape, rape of the man. Unsolicited touching is not “hot”, it’s not some kind of gift, it’s sexual assault.
It isn’t like men get up each morning and, while deciding what socks to wear and does it matter if the colours don’t match, they contemplate should I rape someone today.I mean there is work, the haircut at lunch, pick up some milk and bread on the way home, no today is packed I’ll have to fit a rape in some other time. Slogans such as “Men can stop rape” are infantile.
There is also the potential for high-profile male feminist speakers on campus, such as Don McPherson, NCAA football hall of famer and pro-feminist activist, who recently came to my campus to speak to students about the problems with derogatory language in an event called “You Throw Like a Girl.” What made this event so successful is the fact that all members of campus sports teams, fraternities and sororities were mandated to come to the event. With such large turnout, there was a huge opportunity for his message to reach those who would not normally come to an event about critical… Read more »
Aaaarrrghhh. Articles like this make me so glad I don’t go to college nowadays. At least 20 years ago I just had to run the angry feminist gauntlet; now there are the feminist AND the white knight gauntlets to navigate. The fact of the matter is that Men Cannot Stop Rape. I, as a man, can decide not to rape, but that’s the totality of what I can do. This is why “Rape Culture” is B.S. and a hate attack on males. And I’d almost managed to forget about “Take Back the Night.” It’s is yet another example of ritualized… Read more »
“Take Back the Night” yeah, I totally remember that. The worst part is they would rally in front of the frat houses to make it clear who they thought they needed to take the night back from.
Almost staged a “Take Back the Day” rally in front of the sorority houses and let them make the association.
Apologies for derailing a serious topic. But I do believe that we all have the responsibility to promote consent in realistic ways, and acknowledge that the dialogue has to change, that men need the safe spaces and respect to come out as individuals who have suffered assault and really start dealing with all of this, together.
Has anyone got decent statistics on all sexual assault on campuses, including men forced to penetrate with a breakdown of age, gender, ethnicity and for extra points maybe income-class for both victim and perpetrator? Super duper extra points if they can break it down further to where the assaults take place (parties, etc), relationship between victim and perp, alcohol and other drug usage of all parties involved. Please no single gender statistics as I cannot stand them, I only like to see indepth stats which can accurately compare both genders experience as too often I see stats showing abuse of… Read more »
As a bit of a side-note, I’ve always found the “Men can stop rape,” slogans to be a bit off-putting and missing the mark. For me it wasn’t about the neglect of female rapists, so much as it was the focus on the gender of the perceived aggressors. Plus, it was a strange way of phrasing things – it’s not one man’s responsibility to stop another man from committing a sexual crime. And telling men “don’t rape,” ends up sounding like a scolding, or something. Personally, I think a lot of the “Men, don’t rape,” types of campaigns are confusing… Read more »
Marketing. Because a slogan like, “We understand that all people are capable of assaulting each other so don’t do that and report it even if it makes you feel wrong.” Doesn’t fit on a poster.
You’d think though that people would have come up with a slogan like “We can all stop rape.” Because that would include people who get assaulted fighting back, and people stopping other people from assaulting.”
I mean I thought of that, and I’m no marketing expert.
True, true. Or how about just a simple “Stop Rape,” slogan. It worked for No H8.
Obviously we should go into business for pro humanistic sloganeering.
For real. We need to print t-shirts or start and underground silent protest thing. Know any celebrities?
A few, but many of them are in the adult industry.
So this might be a little bit out of place but LOL
I think there was a “consent is sexy” campaign? I am pretty worn out by the chivalrous campaigns, to me they feel like half-arsed attempts at a massive problem, feels like one gender isn’t actually lifting their weight (females for female perpetrated abuse) with all that damn silence as well compared to all of these men supporting men can stop rape, even the white ribbon type stuff too. It often feels like men need to sacrifice their own concerns for that of women in these arenas, I do hope to see some women speak out against female abusers during this… Read more »
Hell I’ve seen men who would grab a baseball bat against rapists if the law turned the other cheek, don’t think I’ve ever seen that level of protective instinct? (though probably unhelpful) spoken by women against female abusers. It’d be great to know both genders have each others backs and their own. Hell there are stories where men have done just that. This is also related to how there is no shortage of people who openly say that men accused (not even charged, arrested, or on trial but simply accused) of sex crimes deserve to sexually attacked themselves, however such… Read more »
“This is also related to how there is no shortage of people who openly say that men accused (not even charged, arrested, or on trial but simply accused) of sex crimes deserve to sexually attacked themselves, however such sentiment is rarely expressed about women that are accused of sex crimes.” Okay I’ve never heard anyone say that. I’ve only heard one person say that he had no sympathy for men who were convicted of sex crimes who end up getting raped in prison themselves…but the person who said that had been working specifically on child molestation cases as a DA… Read more »
I think that way because of offline conversations I’ve had.
Oh and also the people that guys who might be rapists should be castrated. You would think that for something as drastic as removing someone’s genitals there would be some desire for at least a conviction first?
And (understandably) the younger the victim the more intense the reaction….but only if the accused is male….
With regards to castration, again the only person I ever heard suggest that was the DA Investigator (oh, and his wife, in this case), and again they were specifically talking about men who were convicted. And actually, he was more for chemical castration, whereas his wife was more for physical castration. Anyway, hmmm…maybe it’s to do with the assumption that someone who is accused will be convicted? And so you end up equating the two things together. So it’s not that they don’t think that there needs to be proof, they just assume that there will be proof. I dunno.… Read more »
Anyway, hmmm…maybe it’s to do with the assumption that someone who is accused will be convicted?
More like the assumption that someone who is accused must be guilty (if you consider that conviction doesn’t always equal guilt) but I dig what you’re saying.
From a 2007 ABC News article ( http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3985832&page=1#.T40hg9U0h8F ): Treatment of sex offenders by castration, usually through the use of prescription drugs, is common throughout the United States, though less than a dozen states legally require repeat offenders to be treated chemically. At least one state, Florida, allows sentenced prisoners to choose surgical castration in lieu of prison time. In September, confessed rapist James Allen, 35, chose to be castrated to obtain a reduced sentence. It is common enough that some 8* states mandated chemical castration for repeat offendersof these 4 states (Florida, California, Lousianna and Texas) offers surgical castration… Read more »
Danny and I were talking about suspected sex offenders, not convicted sex offenders.
And you were talking about how people conflate accusation and conviction and assume guilt before a conviction is reached in a court of law? Enough people argue for and support castration laws for them to exist and I am pretty sure that a non-negligibly ratio of them are quick to assume guilt before a conviction has been delivered.
Holy cr*p!! I did not know we actually advocate castration for sex offenders. That’s just about as draconian and immoral a policy as I can think of.
So not only do we have laws reserved for the prosecution of men, we have barbaric sentences also reserved for them as well. A female offender, if we bother to prosecute her and then manage to find her guilty, will not be subjected to this punishment.
Archy
Here are some stats. from campus on female “sexual aggression” (the don’t call it rape) here
http://www.ejhs.org/volume5/deviancetonormal.htm
and here
http://feck-blog.blogspot.com/2011/05/predictors-of-sexual-coercion-against.html
Thank-you, those stats are pretty scary.
“Rates of sexually aggressive behaviors among women vary from one segment of the United States to another, but the evidence presented here shows that as many as 7% of women self-report the use of physical force to obtain sex, 40% self-report sexual coercion, and over 50% self-report initiating sexual contact with a man while his judgment was impaired by drugs or alcohol (Anderson, 1998).”
Begs the question, why hasn’t the media picked up on all of these studies n shouted it across the globe? That’s a huge headline!
I guess for whatever reason no media I am aware of reported the last 12 months statistics for rape and “being made to penetrate someone else” in the NISVS 2010 Report. It is some kind of selective blindness, bias, at play. The idea that female perpetrators are more than just a very few exceptions is simply so foreign that it simply does not register. It’s a blind spot. And even when it is pointed out it’s still not acknowledged in any way – or one is accused of being selective about statitics by leaving out the lifetime numbers (ironically often… Read more »
The one in four statistic is based on a terrible study done in 1989 by Mary Koss that has been debunked countless number of times.
A more recent calculation using actual Campus numbers, taking into account the hypothetical 90% of rapes are not reported, came up with 1 in 3,750. That means there is a lot of rape going on outside of campus to even bring the numbers within cooee of the claim of 1 in 4.