This comment is from HeatherN on the post “In Praise of Small-Breasted Women.”
Yes the social values have already been ascribed to different body types…the problem is they are being perpetuating here. By perpetuating the stereotypes associated with both large breasted and small breasted women, it’s just as bad as one someone who was praising women for having big breasts. It is just stereotypes and is a reinforcement of the false body type = personality type generalisations.
Again, my problem isn’t explaining preferences. Heck, if he were to analyse his preferences and question whether his love of small breasted women was because of the cultural narrative surrounding both large and small breasted women, as well as the cultural expectations for what straight guys will enjoy, then I’d also have no problem. But no, he’s not examining his own cultural bias…he’s just blindly following it or blindly rebelling against it.
It’s like, okay…one of the most frustrating things with heteronormativity is when people don’t even realize they’re doing it. When someone says something like: “I support gay people, I don’t get why anyone else cares what someone does in their sex lives.” It’s an attempt at being supportive, but it falls so short of the mark because it fails to recognize that sexual orientation affects more than just someone’s sex life. It actually ends up reinforcing the stereotype that gay people only care about sex.
This article is similar, not the same, but similar. The attempt was to be supportive by saying that “hey small breasted women, you’re pretty too.” But instead it just ended up reinforcing all of these problematic stereotypes about women and men.
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photo by mick / lumix
I think “gentle giant” gets used so much because it’s alliterative, but there is that built-in connotation that it’s an oxymoron. When was the last time you saw a movie in which the hero was the largest character? (Note how often it’s a quasi-monster like the Hulk….) Ironically, I think large men are actually socialized to be extra cautious about how they move, taught to be more gentle and less violent than other men. (Maybe football players would be the exception, but I tend to think even there that offensive linemen play more gently than free safeties.) Big guys are… Read more »
There are lots of assumptions that people come to based on physical appearance and shape. I would add that there are lots of assumptions about people based on their height. If you are a male of below-average height (or even average height) you must have some sort of short man’s syndrome – if you drive a particular car, obviously it’s because you’re insecure about your body. If you’re a man who’s larger than average, then the assumption seems to be that you are slow and clumsy. I’m a big guy. I’ve been told that I “have quick feet for a… Read more »
….have heard I’m “big but gentle” ARRRRR!!!! This kind of talk ignites a firey passion in my soul that rivals the Power Cosmic. Its like “Oh you’re so big and burly BUT you’re also so nice and gentle!”. “Its so surprising that you are a big and intimidating guy but you’re not violent at all!!” I swear sometimes when women say that they are trying to butter you up so that some inner Raging Uber Monster (iRUM) that apparently all big guys have is quelled and doesn’t break loose like 3/4 of Hell (not quite all hell breaking loose, just… Read more »
Exactly what I was thinking whenever I read that post as well. The solution isn’t giving a boost up to the “underdog” of sorts. All that does is eventually bias people against large-breasted women, and reinforces assumptions about how certain body types relate to certain personalities. But this applies to both parties as well. Men aren’t the only ones who do this. Not by any means. It’s said that a woman decides whether or not she is interested in a guy withing the first 15 seconds of seeing him. In 15 seconds you can’t tell anything about anyone EXCEPT by… Read more »
Unfortunately, it’s the same for women, though. If an attractive woman walks up to a guy and says, “hey hot stuff!”, I’m sure he’d be very intrigued. If an overweight, unattractive woman did the same thing, he’d probably think “ew gross, fat chick.”
Maybe its just a difference in experiences but in my own these two scenarios don’t get talked about the same way. -Short, Thin, Pale guy with glasses walks up in the same way. “What’s up, hot stuff?”. NOW how do you think she responds? When the short, thin, pale guys with glasses say something about being told they are creepy because they aren’t what said woman he is talking finds attractive they are told they are whining, are creating the idea of creep shaming in order to stop women from using the word, needs to learn how to respect women’s… Read more »
Alrighty, I totally see what you’re saying, Danny. What I’ll say about the second example, with the overweight woman…is that I think society actually tells the woman that being overweight is what’s wrong with her. Now, that’s true for men too (I’m not saying weight issues are a woman-only thing). Society also tells the woman she’s probably desperate for approaching a man at all. I think somewhere else in a conversation with you I was talking about this.
Agreed.
It just ignites firey a passion that rivals the Power Cosmic when I see that people recognize that society tells a woman that being overweight is what’s wrong with her and tell her that there is actually something wrong with society for telling her that then recognizes that society tells a guy that being short, thin, pale, and with glasses is what’s wrong when him and then tells him that society is right
And the reverse of that (telling the guy society if the problem and telling the woman her weight is the problem) does happen as well.
I understand. I do think that society is coming around to the side of the short, thin, pale, nerdy guys. I see a lot of cycles…society condemns a certain type of appearance (for men or women), and then when individuals engage in that condemnation they receive approval from society. Then eventually, enough people that belong to that condemned type get together and say ‘quit it,’ and society realizes that the condemned type are actually just people too. And then it’s like – oh wait maybe we shouldn’t condemned guys who are pale, or maybe we shouldn’t condemn women who are… Read more »
I understand. I do think that society is coming around to the side of the short, thin, pale, nerdy guys. I see a lot of cycles…society condemns a certain type of appearance (for men or women), and then when individuals engage in that condemnation they receive approval from society. Yeah. Its like when someone decides they are tired of being a conformist so they decide to be a non-conformist by doing what all the other non-conformists do. This sets up the scales so that culture and counter-culture are constantly tipping back and forth. (Just look at how many I Heart… Read more »