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We all have problems, and relationships are hard enough to maintain without them. Between temptation, busy schedules, and distractions, it’s virtually impossible to avoid romantic drama these days. To make matters worse, some adults suffer with ADHD.
What is adult ADHD?
ADHD stands for “attention deficit hyperactive disorder.” It involves the inability to maintain focus while also struggling to remain still or perform mundane tasks. There are many causes for the diagnosis, yet many medicines and therapies to help treat it.
Meanwhile, many adults develop the disorder throughout their childhood, making it more difficult to behave as stoic adults later in life. In fact, attention deficit hyperactive disorder in adults can lead to decreased mental health, poor work performances, lowered self-esteem, and unstable relationships.
In grownups, the disorder often manifests as impulsivity, irresponsibility, and commitment issues. That’s why it’s so important to be honest with potential mates about your condition. As a mindful adult, it’s your responsibility to learn about ADHD so you can teach partners how to understand you better.
DID YOU KNOW: In toddlers and teens, attention deficit hyperactive disorder often looks like restlessness, irritability, and even sometimes a learning disability. However, those same symptoms can present in adults as well.
5 factors that make a relationship work
All happy and healthy relationships are based on these five principles, although adult ADHD can stand in the way in many cases:
#1. Commitment
Serious partners want to feel secure in their relationships, especially once feelings get involved. However, the lack of impulse control can create issues where none existed before. Often, those uncontrolled impulses get misconstrued as how someone actually feels rather than how they felt in the moment.
#2. Honesty
Sincerity and integrity are two major parts of a legitimate connection, most notably when trust is in question. On the contrary, ADHD may make it difficult for someone to be honest about their thoughts, feeling, actions, or impulses because they feel embarrassed or ashamed about them.
#3. Memory
It’s difficult to remember the details of something you didn’t concentrate on but forgetting details can hurt a partner’s feelings if you’re not careful. Thus, adults with ADHD have trouble managing this part of a healthy relationship because they’re constantly struggling to recall information they don’t have.
#4. Undivided Attention
Partners crave attention from their lovers for many reasons, including self-esteem boosts and reassurance. But if someone can’t pay attention very well, their ability to provide solace in a relationship is significantly hindered. That, in turn, may do subtle damages that are harder to fix.
#5. Communication
They say communication is the key to a long, happy union. Meanwhile, adults with ADHD often zone out in conversations or make their partners feel devalued and ignored as a result of their disorder. That can be extremely frustrating to deal with, even if you know about your partner’s condition.
Incorporating these five factors into a relationship is crucial to making it work, yet 38% of married people said they considered divorce because problems stemming from ADHD. In some studies, spouses even reported feeling generally unhappy, unusually lonely, or overwhelmed by their relationship. Thus, seeking professional help to treat the issue is one of the most loving things a partner can do.
FACT: ADHD usually creates a predictable pattern of behavior that’s much easier to spot if you know what to look for.
How to treat adult ADHD for better relationships
Trouble paying attention and remembering things can wreak havoc on an otherwise happy and healthy relationship. That’s not fair, so do something about it with one of these two treatment options:
#1. Talk therapy
A licensed clinical psychologist can walk you through your scattered train of thought, offer insights, or provide psychoanalysis and behavioral modification to help you heal your mind from the inside out.
#2. Medication
Certain medications can help reduce or even eliminate some of the symptoms of ADHD. Drugs such as Adderall, Dexedrine, and Ritalin have long track records for being safe and effective treatments.
Whatever the case, it’s not wise to ignore your ADHD symptoms or the disruptions thereof. So, aside from treating the actual cause of the disorder, be sure to focus on the effects as well. After all, your relationships are based on more than just love. They require two partners who can be there for each other in many capacities.
If you or someone you love suffers from attention deficit hyperactive disorder as an adult, seek professional help as soon as possible to avoid the common pitfalls of trying to maintain a relationship with that diagnosis.
The verdict
ADHD can be extremely difficult to manage, especially if you’re partnered up with someone romantically. However, it doesn’t have to ruin your chances of finding love if you learn how to recognize the problems and find healthy ways to fix them.
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