Do you live with a partner who has chronic pain or do you have chronic pain yourself? What have you found most helpful when supporting someone with a long-term illness? Do you have any tips that you wish you would have known?
These are comments by Dr. Adam Sheck, Arthur MacMaster, Jess on the post “23 Tips For Men on Supporting a Partner with Chronic Pain“.
Dr. Adam Sheck said:
Great piece. As a man who’s had a few herniated cervical discs for over 20 years, I can relate. The support of a partner makes a HUGE difference! Thank you so much for sharing your contribution to the journey.
Arthur MacMaster said:
Thank you for this article! As part of my MS experience, I am someone living with chronic pain. You wrote quite eloquently on aspects of my struggles and while my wife is amazingly supportive, I will be showing her your piece.
As a woman who has experienced chronic pain my whole adult life, through three relationships (including a marriage to an abuser who exploited my limitations) I really appreciate this piece. Everyone should have so much compassion towards their partner.
Something I would like to add: Treatment must be a priority. Sounds kind of obvious, but it’s easy for someone used to ignoring/minimizing their pain to not fully advocate for their need for treatment, so it is incumbent upon the partner to ensure that treatment is always available and used (this goes along with number one in the article, but I think it bears spelling out).
For 20 years, I would wait till the pain got so bad that something needed to happen IMMEDIATELY. And I never got enough treatment to effectively heal, either. Most of the time I had to get work (causing more pain) to earn money for treatment, because my partners didn’t think it was a priority, even if they were the “bread winner”. Now after having spent half my life not healing, I am getting PT, covered by state insurance, and there are days when I am almost pain free.
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