This comment by Richard on the post USA: Male Privilege of Not Knowing
Wow! I am blown away both by your words and my own ignorance. Thank you for this powerful article. I will be sure to save it and keep it close within reach so that I can keep it fresh. Not only do we have the privilege of being ignorant of what is going on around us, but also to refrain from acknowledging our own actions and the impact they have on others. Having read this article, I think about the pain I must have caused so many acquaintances, classmates, and strangers. I remember getting “caught” staring at cleavage, and knowing that I had been caught doing something wrong. But I never really thought about their point of view. I never put myself in their shoes. I never thought about Why it is wrong. When I was caught at the time I felt ashamed about getting caught. Now I feel guilty, now that I think about the realities of what I had done. I had reduced these women to a pair of breasts. I can’t help wondering if I should apologize, even so many years later, for leering at them. Would it make any difference to them? And I end up questioning my own sexuality; not my attraction to women, mind you, but the way I am attracted to women. Our sexual orientation is a natural phenomenon; leering at women is not. Acknowledgement and acceptance is the first step. Then comes proactive change.
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Question of the Day:
How do we educate everyone to stay on the side of healthy normal people watching vs. leering, gawking and stalking?
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That is exactly the issue. How do we distinguish between normal healthy people watching, especially in this fame obsessed culture, and the unhealthy gawking, leering and staring? Not sure what the answer is and I’m, sure there is a range of acceptable and unacceptable, the question is when does is get uncomfortable and dangerous leading to stalking? Thoughts
Wow. Originally, I thought this comment was meant to be totally sarcastic. “I will be sure to save it and keep it close within reach….” This is sincere? I completely misread the original intent.
As for the Question of the Day:
Before I can educate other people about the difference between two things, it would help to be able to explain in words what that difference is. What do people say about the difference between staring and normal looking?