This comment was from by Ure P Auckland on Tom Matlack’s post Man Talk.
My experience is that nothing is more important that communicating your truth. I have been on a journey the last year of moving into authenticity to the best of my human ability with every aspect of my life, and as I have come into a place of truth in my life the synchronicities have been astonishing.
I recently saw a great TED Talk from Mette Boll about the Danish people who were identified in a study as the happiest people in the world, and who were that way because of their authenticity and natural tendency to speak their truth.
So yes I say, if you feel it, speak it, but always from a place of love.
Coming to the issue of sexual attraction which is a part of the issues raised in the article, to my mind the real issue is connection. When connection is present between two people in a relationship, love making is passionate, and all that matters is the energies being shared.
I would argue that it is a good thing when two partners honour one another and their bodies by adopting an attitude of ‘my body is my temple’ and they maintain their fitness and reasonable body health. However if a partner is obsessing about a particular body part in their partner and its physical qualities, to me that speaks to a lack of connection between them as a couple. In a sense they are replacing the lack of emotional connection felt for their partner with for the want of a better term ‘partner porn’ where they want their partner to meet some ‘photo-shop standard’.
At the fifty year mark of my journey I have made my share of mistakes around partnership and sexuality. An instructive part of my healing journey has been shamanic work through which direct experience has left me in no doubt that adopting an attitude of sacredness around sexuality is definitely for my higher good and spiritual growth.
So from the place I have reached on my journey as I relate to my partner and decide how to communicate, I ask myself, ‘What is my truth?’ ‘How can I honour your soul, my soul and our sacred connection?’ and ‘How can I best communicate from a place of love?’
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photo: Foxtongue / flickr