When John Taylor’s wife got a new job, he got a new job title, too: Stay-at-Home-Dad.
Originally appeared at The Daddy Yo Dude
Today, life as we call “normal” changed. There is a new way of doing things. New routines, new responsibilities, and new beginnings. For the last four years, my wife has been the at-home parent. She has been here, right by our children’s sides since they were brought in to this world. They have grown up with her being here after nap and after school. For the last four years, I have been working. Sometimes not even seeing the children awake for the day, only being home for 30 minutes to see them on break, and coming and going at weird times. Today though, it all changed.
My wife started a new job today. The first job she has worked since before Little Man was born. The other side of that means that someone had to be home with LG and to get LM off the bus after school. That person, would be me. For the last 4 years, I have been the working parent. I have worked many jobs, many long days, and have missed many things with the kids. The Wifey has been a SAHM and the backbone of care for the kids. In one day, one instance, all of that changed. Both of us are excited as hell, but nervous too.
While The Wifey was in school, I was in charge of the house for only two days. Not really even two days. They were more like half days. My usual charge was afternoons, dinner, and the bedtime/bath routine. Nothing too difficult. Now though,I am thrust into the full time caregiver role for five days of the week. I will only be working on the weekends. This is when it gets scary.
I don’t doubt my abilities as a dad. I know the kids’ routines, I know their likes, dislikes, how to tell when they are getting sick, and all of that. What I worry about the most, is my kids trusting that everything is okay now that daddy is home and mommy is at work. Do they have the same faith in my abilities as a dad? Do they trust that daddy will care for them, be there for them, and provide all of the things that mommy has for so long?
Transitions in life aren’t exactly easier when you are an adult, you just become a little more prepared. Situations were thought out, finances were thought out, and all of the fine details that accompany job changes. I talked with my boss man about my hours changing and being willing to really pour it in on the weekends to not lose too much income. We thought out how we would get LM to school, and how laundry would get done, bills paid house cleaned. As adults, we have the understanding to know all about change.
My children know change, but they do not have the ability to prepare for it like we do. Sure, we talked to them, told them mommy was going to be working and daddy would be home more often. To that we got head nods of acceptance. Though it seems they know what we mean, I wonder if they truly understand.
I guess it is one of those things we will just have to wait and see about. I know my abilities as a dad and as a caregiver to my children. I am confident that I can make the right decision at the crucial time when needed. Hopefully as time goes on, my children will get to know my abilities and trust them. I guess it is up to me to just prove it to them.
Photo courtesy of macinate
Nice piece John! When you are transparent about your doubts and anxieties it opens a space for other people to be also. You will be awesome.