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Dating a musician sounds cool! After all, not everyone has musical talents worthy of moving the rest of the world. However, dating a musician entails a lot of sacrifices. If you want to make your relationship work, you may want to adhere to these 19 rules for dating a musician.
1. Accept It! Other People will Hit on Your Guy
Even if your musician partner is not yet famous, he will have to mingle with many people. Some of them will hit on your guy. Keep your cool, and don’t pick a fight. Your guy knows what he’s doing, including his limitations.
2. Don’t Assume Everyone Loves Your Guy’s Band
Just because you find your guy’s band awesome does not mean every other person loves them, too. You will hear some nasty comments that can get on your nerves. Everyone has an opinion. You know better.
3. Don’t Pretend You will Always be the Priority
Your partner wants to establish a music career. That is his passion and priority. Don’t make the mistake of making him choose between you and his gig, guitar, or band. You’ll never want to hear the answer.
4. Don’t Complain about the Noise
Some musical instruments are noisier than others. If you have a drummer for a partner, you know that a drum set can be as loud as 130 decibels. It is equivalent to the roar of a fighter jet launching from an aircraft carrier.
5. Be Ready to Go Sleepless
You’re already in dreamland, only to wake up to your smartphone’s strong vibrations. Your partner is dropping by after coming off a gig at 3 AM. Being the accommodating partner, you oblige. You talk a few hours, get a nap, and be ready to work by 8.
6. Don’t Expect Fixed Call Times or Visits
Beginner guitarists and other musicians do not have fixed schedules. They can have a regular 10 PM to 2 AM gig, but it doesn’t always mean he is ready to call you at 2:01 AM. Sometimes, he may not even call at all or visit you randomly.
7. Don’t Act Like You’re His Manager
Most musicians love to compartmentalize, separating business from their personal lives. You are on his personal side. As such, don’t ever meddle in the band’s affairs because you’re not their manager unless you were already their manager before the relationship.
8. Don’t Expect that Having Kids Will Make Your Guy Quit His Passion
Musicians are a goal-directed lot. They have a singular focus in their lives. Hence, giving your musician partner a baby will not derail his journey into becoming one of the world’s best musical talents. Instead, he will become more passionate about it.
9. Never Ask for Relationship Advice from Bandmates
Your partner’s bandmates are not relationship counselors. Whatever misunderstandings or relationship kinks you have with your partner, you should be ready to fix them on your own. It is a personal matter that has no place in a business environment.
10. Never Complain about Canceling Your Special Day
There will always be instances when your partner cannot make it to your special day because he has a gig or other appointments. Don’t expect him to cancel his gig for you. His fans, producer, and co-workers rely on him.
11. Never Show Up at Practice Uninvited
Practice sessions are all business. If you don’t have any substantial or meaningful business inputs, it would be best to stay away. Don’t be a distraction unless your partner explicitly invites you to attend.
12. Delay Any Fights for the Day After the Show
Musicians want to stay focused whenever they go on stage. Picking a fight with your partner just before he performs is the meanest thing you can ever do to his career and your relationship. If you need to get your voice heard, postpone it a day after the gig.
13. Do Not Add to the Band’s Expenses, Especially on Tours
Beginner bands do not have the luxury of deep pockets from a recording outfit. They have to scrounge every penny they can to finance their tours. Don’t tag along if you cannot pay for your travel and accommodation expenses.
14. Don’t Turn an Out-of-Town Gig into a Vacation Opportunity
Some partners think that an out-of-town gig is an excellent opportunity to go on a vacation with their musician partners. Don’t! Again, the gig is business. Vacation is personal. Know the difference.
15. Quit Being Your Guy’s Shadow at a Show
Stop following your partner wherever he goes at a show. You’re not his manager nor personal assistant. He needs to interact with agents, promoters, event organizers, fans, other musicians, and other people. You’ll have your time with him when you get home.
16. Don’t Be a Walking Billboard
It is okay to wear your guy’s band’s music brand. A t-shirt is sufficient. Don’t go out of your way to wear a matching hat, beanie, or pants with the band’s name emblazoned on your butt.
17. Don’t Get Mad If He Writes Songs About His Ex
Musicians get inspiration from anything, even from painful past relationships. As such, don’t get mad if you find out your guy is writing a song about his ex. He is way past her. You’re his love interest now.
18. Be Ready to Nurture His Ego If He Shows You What He’s Working On
Artists and musicians are like us ordinary mortals. Sometimes they also want an affirmation of what they are doing. Nurturing his ego boosts his confidence, allowing him to be more productive. It also endears you to him.
19. Get Ready to Hear Plenty of Long-winded Other-Band Speeches
Some artists tend to compare themselves and their work to other musicians. Even if you don’t know who he is rambling about, you can pretend you’re listening. He will love you more that way.
The Bottom Line
Following these 19 tips for dating a musician may seem difficult at first. With lots of perseverance and understanding, you can contribute to your partner’s overall success. Receiving multiple platinum records is a certainty as long as you stick to these rules.
References
https://factorymeme.blogspot.com/2020/12/11-funny-musician-memes.html
https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/music/10-tips-for-dating-a-musician-6625481
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a37253/things-you-should-know-before-dating-a-musician/
https://www.chicagoreader.com/Bleader/archives/2013/02/09/dating-a-musician-relationship-donts
https://www.riverfronttimes.com/musicblog/2012/12/27/six-tips-for-dating-a-musician
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This content is brought to you by Charles Vallena.
Photo: Shutterstock
As an amateur musician myself, this certainly solidifies the Peter Pan stereotype that musicians have. Did a 14 year old write this? It’s your way or the highway right, it doesn’t actually matter the kind of sacrifices your partner is making so you strut around like the only thing that matters in the world is music while you probably make pennies. It doesn’t matter that your partner maybe compromising part or all of their dreams to accommodate yours. They can just simply look after your child while also working full time so you can act like working for under minimum… Read more »