Breaking up with someone is never a good time. No matter who was the initiator of this step and what the reasons for it are, it is never easy to experience a breakup. Of course, each couple has their pre-history and is unique. There are still a lot of common mistakes people make when going through breakups.
Getting over someone is obviously difficult but many things may make it much easier for you. Regardless of whether the end of your relationship is painful or not, going through it takes some time. No one can break up today and start a new happy relationship tomorrow.
Certain phases must pass and a set of actions is required to relieve the pain of your breakup. Without it, you will suffer even if you think there is nothing to worry about. Any relationship is full of events and feelings. Forgetting it all in one day is never possible even if you believe your breakup is a relief.
Check the following tips from practicing psychologists that will facilitate the process of breakup and help you get over your ex-partner.
1. Avoid contact with your ex
Yes, we know that you may break up as friends and decide to maintain a normal human relationship. Please realize that there is no friendship between ex-partners, at least, not right after breaking up. You may want to send a message to your ex or he/she is looking for contacting you all the time. Don’t send any messages; do not look for “occasional” meetings, and try not to answer their phone calls or messages.
Kate El, being a practicing psychologist, CEO & Founder of https://best-matchmaking.com/ & https://www.1matching.com/, knows a lot about relationships and why exactly many couples break up, and how to overcome those breakups. She says that avoiding all contact with ex-partners is inevitable since you have an invisible emotional bond between you.
No contacts mean not only no communication but also that you should not watch your ex on social media, avoid physical reminders and even block this person if necessary. The truth is this “friendship” might be taken as mixed signals. Your ex may think that you want to restore your relationship. And even you may think so without even realizing it.
Even if you think you have no feelings for your ex, you are used to his or her presence in your life, and cutting this person out of your reality might be really painful, yet so necessary. This is the most efficient and fastest way of getting back to life without your ex-partner. Love is very addictive and once the relationship ends, it is painful. If you avoid contact with your ex, you become stronger, self-confident, and your self-esteem increases. When avoiding contacts fully isn’t possible, try to minimize it as much as you can.
2. Accept it
People suffer from their breakups, it is obvious. However, you should get rid of the sense of guilt. Both are guilty when it comes to a relationship, so just realize what your fault was and accept it. Stop torturing yourself, otherwise, nothing good will come out of this.
The breakup happened and you cannot change anything now. All you can do is accept this fact and move forward. Internal tortures are inevitable but the most important is to realize your mistakes and work on yourself.
Social life is crucial for everyone, especially after a breakup. The worst thing you can do is to stay alone with yourself, lock yourself at home, and suffer. You have friends, family, colleagues, and it is very important to keep communicating with them.
Work helps forget about your grief for some time, however, it is not enough yet. Recall about your interests. It is the best time to start doing what you really enjoy. For example, if you do not want to see any of your friends, there are no obstacles to socializing on your own.
If you are a fan of fine arts, attend the gallery or exhibition. Go to the cinema and watch a new movie. Buy tickets for a concert. Do whatever you enjoy, do not deprive yourself of different pleasures. Your social life will bring you back to life.
4. Take a vacation
No one says that you must go on an expensive cruise tour or remote islands. It’s obvious that you have a job and duties and cannot have long vacations. If you can, it would be perfect. Still, you must have weekends and days off, right? Use them to go and see new places and experience new emotions.
New places, people, and impressions help us reboot our lives and even look at things from a different perspective. There is one rule to keep in mind though — avoid visiting places you used to visit with your ex. This will not only fail to reboot yourself and your life but will make you feel guilty and suppressed again.
5. Remember about self-care
You must start a new life now — life without another person in your life. In all that fuss and “tragedy”, it is crucial not to forget about self-love. You should recall about caring about yourself right now. Have you ever enjoyed a professional massage? If not, it is time to do it.
If you love sports but quit it because of your breakup and emotional tortures, it is time to update your membership in the gym. For ladies, it is great to attend spa salons and all those beauty procedures. Thai massage is perfect when it comes to getting rid of stress. In other words, do whatever you used to enjoy or have always wanted to do but never managed to.
Taking care of yourself is very important and nothing can affect it. Did you hear that? Nothing means nothing. No matter how difficult your life is right now, give your body the necessary rest and care. Attend yoga classes, swimming pools, or saunas after all.
6. Learn your lesson and do not hurry to start a new relationship
As it was mentioned above, both people are always guilty of relationship problems. Before rushing into a new relationship, find out what exactly you did wrong. Realize which of your actions have led to those problems and breakup. Even if you believe your partner was the guilty one, go deeper and see which of your behavior could lead to his behavior.
Having new dates is great but do not hurry to start a relationship and fall in love. Learn your lessons and do work on your errors. It is necessary to avoid making the same mistakes in your future potential relationships.
This content is brought to you by Shahbaz Ahmed.
Photo provided by the author with written permission from Kate El.