Matthew Rozsa explores the latest Twitter trend, #TheWorstPartOfDepressionIs.
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For the most part I’m not a big fan of Twitter. Any medium that attempts to condense the human experience into 140 characters is, in my opinion, more likely to water down meaningful self-expression than encourage it. Although my career makes Twitter use something of a necessity, I can’t deny that I view it with the same moderate disdain with which I hold so many other Internet manifestations of our sound byte culture (e.g., memes).
Every so often, however, Twitter winds up producing some unintentionally moving art.
Such was the case with #TheWorstPartOfDepressionIs yesterday.
#TheWorstPartOfDepressionIs the physical pain that most people don't talk about. Depression HURTS.
— Baenerys (@Auragasmic) August 7, 2015
#TheWorstPartOfDepressionIs that people think it's a choice.
— Erika L. Sánchez (@ErikaLSanchez) August 7, 2015
#TheWorstPartOfDepressionIs when you've got so used to your dark bubble that recovery & outer world seem scarier than your sickness
— annika (@annikarmr) August 8, 2015
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Those three quotes, produced by individuals who (to the best of my knowledge) have no association with each other outside of their contribution to this latest hashtag, fit together almost unsettlingly well. Anyone who has had depression will tell you that it becomes an overwhelmingly painful experience – physically as well as psychologically – but that, whereas you can remove the conditions that cause certain types of bodily and emotional pain, it is literally impossible to simply “end” the anguish caused by depression. Even if you wanted to make that choice, your mind won’t let you – but, as Annika astutely observed, the familiarity you’ve developed with feeling miserable can often create an additional disincentive.
“#TheWorstPartOfDepressionIs feeling guilty for not “appreciating” how good you have it compared to those who “really suffer”.
I’ve always had bad teeth. (Hear me out.) I was on a first name basis with my dentist, even.
I was also badly depressed for over 15 years. Often zombie bad.
And once while I was pretty badly off with a sink-to-the-bottom-of-darkness day,
I also had a toothache. I had enough presence of mind to check and compare: Which hurt more: the depression or the toothache? If I had a choice of not having one of them, which would it be? No question – the toothache hurt worse.