Tom Matlack wants to clarify that ‘The New Macho’ isn’t just for men.
My piece on “The New Macho” among men has received, as usual, mixed reviews. To be clear I wasn’t so much trying to put down women as to point out how men and women are different to say that men are not quite as bad as we have been made out to be. That it is possible to be macho and good at the same time. But to do that we have to rethink what it means to be a man and to be macho. And to focus on the best of the best among our gender rather the dismal statistics about how we are falling apart.
Some female readers took particular offense—despite my clearly saying that the new macho, which includes an aggressive moral compass and a willingness to take risk, a big tent that can certainly include women—that I underestimated the entrepreneurial contributions of women when talking about the likes of Facebook and Apple.
Arlen said, “Dorothy Hodgkin. Discovered penicillin, insulin, b12. Got a Nobel Prize for it, too.” And Amber said, “I seriously just want to add that a woman invented kevlar, the metal that protects the soldiers fighting our wars.”
Just to clear up any confusion, I wasn’t passing comment one way or the other on the relative importance of women in history. What I was commenting on was their relative macho-ness. Kevlar and Penicillin are in fact incredibly important discoveries. But I was speaking about building huge companies from scratch, and the willingness to risk it all over and over again like Steve Jobs did when the whole world literally thought he was insane and wrong.
Nevertheless, perhaps I should have spent more time talking about women that I do think are macho, though the piece was really about encouraging men. I have a passion for writing about both men and women who show the kind of guts that is the key to being macho. Here are some ladies that I have written about in the past that surely qualify and should inspire us all no matter what your gender.
Dina Kaplan of www.blip.tv is not Steve Jobs yet but she is sure trying. She makes most top ten lists of up and coming digital founders. Here is my profile of her and why I think she is so cool.
The best female rower in American history, and one of the most courageous athletes I have ever interviewed, is Michelle Guerrette. She rowed the single in the Olympics against the reigning world champion from Belarus twice her size and managed to beat her in a heroic come from behind victory. She’s a freak of nature physically but also for her amazing pose under extreme pressure.
For a time I wrote extensively on the leaders of the revolution in stem cell science. There are a group of three amazingly young and brilliant Boston-area researchers who quite literally have the chance to change the face of medicine. They have done things like take skin cells, turn them back into stem cells, and then transform that very same cell into a beating heart cell. One of the three scientists is an amazingly tough (she often publishes articles that rip apart her peers’ work if she thinks they are wrong) and smart woman named Amy Wagers. Here is my story about her.
Then if you want to talk about writers (one commenter said that it was Stephen King’s wife Tabitha who really should get the credit for Carrie because she dug it out of the trash) I would say my great aunt Pearl Buck has some pretty major balls. She grew up an American girl trying to uncover the bones of little Chinese girls killed because of their gender and tell the world about it. This piece is a discovery of just how inspiring my ancestor was through the eyes of a recent biographer.
So the new macho is in fact a big tent. There are women who are already members of the club. We just need more. Just like we need to see the men who are already macho and doing good for what they are and to encourage our boys to think outside the box.
Also: “The New Macho” by Tom Matlack
—Photo from “The Row Warrior” by Tom Matlack with permission
I am opposed to machismo, whether it be male, female or anything else.
I don’t want to be in any ‘club’ that reinforces hackneyed gender norms.
“To be clear I wasn’t so much trying to put down women as to point out how men and women are different to say that men are not quite as bad as we have been made out to be.” This is a great sentence. As a feminist female, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to deny the differences between men and women. Looking back at it, it almost sounds like the idiots who say that they “don’t see color”. We have to accept that they’re there–mostly culturally/societally constructed, but some with some hint of biological background. Men are not… Read more »
*that all genders can embrace (watching Battlestar Galactica while trying to type is never a good idea…)
Why are these qualities macho? It is very generous for you to open that tent up to women, but I’m sure you see how its problematic to appropriate those qualities for men in the first place. In other contexts, this sort of gender-ing of what ought to be ‘human’ qualities backfires and hurts men (and women too). Your articles often address the troubles faced by fathers who are often denied custody on grounds that women are naturally better care givers. Care giving is presumed to be a feminine quality. Why must men be feminine in order to be caring? Why… Read more »
Tom, on August 26, 1920, American women finally won the right to vote. The struggle started in 1848 and activists endured enormous ridicule to finally get the nation to admit that women have an inalienable right to the franchise. Activists got arrested and beaten by the police and made enormous personal and professional sacrifices. To write an article about “Macho Women” on August 26 is a huge slap in the mouth to these unbelieveably courageous, brilliant women and men. The Good Men Project needs to apologize for forgetting about this huge milestone in the history of our country. They need… Read more »
” I would say my great aunt Pearl Buck has some pretty major balls.”
That statement is very male chauvinistic. You need to apologize for it. Stop associating strength with maleness. Besides, testicles can be crushed in a minute, but ovaries are unbelieveably resilient.
Sorry Tom, but I was not impressed with your follow-up article. Macho is a form of masculinity that is contemptuous of women.
Stop genderizing personality traits, Tom. Your articles are very offensive.
Mollifying harridans will never satisfy them.
Appreciate the clarification, Tom, although I feel compelled to comment that sexism is rampant in high tech. I have lived and worked in Silicon Valley for 20 years. You won’t find many women here complaining about sexism because they are trying too hard to succeed in the boys club to whine about it. And they need jobs and don’t want to burn bridges. And of course, some women do rise to the top. But the backbone of the tech industry — the people who you have to work with every day and socialize with and impress and use as references… Read more »
For sure Jill. There was that big New Yorker article about FB where Dina was quoted about how she was harassed horribly when she tried to raise money. I certainly don’t mean to imply that sexism doesn’t exist. My only point was that from a consumer standpoint a good web product is a good web product and the really great ones were developed based on a brilliant idea. I realize that for a women to get her ideas to market might be more challenging but I am still a believer that the idea counts for a lot. I am sure… Read more »
Hi Tom, I’m flattered that you would be interested in an article, but, honestly, I don’t think I’m up for that!
I’d love to see a follow up article from you, though, on why it is important for men to define masculinity, and can that be done in a way that doesn’t involve putting down what women accomplish? Does “being a man” necessarily require a feeling of superiority over women? I think these are great topics and I always enjoy your thoughts (even if I don’t always agree with everything you say)
I think Allan G. Johnson is more qualified to write that article, Jill. Allan wrote a great book called “The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy.”. It shows how both women and men can work together to end patriarchy, and how men can stop defining masculinity as superiority over women. Allan is a very strong man and Tom could learn many lessons in true strength from him.
I have been involved in 3 high tech start-ups (two women owned) and a 3 major IT firms. So, I’ve seen this from all angles. What Tom says is true. If you are selling a product, investors don’t care about your gender or race. If they are convinced that your product will sell and make them richer, you’ll get the money. If they aren’t you won’t. Plain and simple. They see green, not male or female. And if your product is good and you know how to market it and run your business, a woman can be just as successful… Read more »
The teeth on the woman in that picture above are something else.
That’s an Irish sounding turn of phrase.
Thanks Jake. I fixed that. Michelle is a much better pic.