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Self-care can be loosely defined as the art of looking after yourself. No doubt you’ve seen this phrase popping up everywhere these past several months. Self-care can (and should) include all other important indicators of health — physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, financial, psychological, and relational.
While stressing the consistency of adequate self-care isn’t new, the COVID-19 pandemic served to thrust the importance of monitoring our well-being more squarely into the public consciousness. Surveys conducted by the CDC have confirmed that adults in the U.S. struggled with multiple mental health issues during the pandemic. Rates of reported anxiety, depression, and substance abuse nearly doubled.
Given those grim statistics, maintaining a heightened awareness of our need for healthy self-care seems wise. Self-care can become a powerful tool in your mental health arsenal once you know how to implement it. It can help you reduce stress, calm intrusive thoughts, and build positive habits to last a lifetime. Not sure where to start? Take a look at these six ways to upgrade (or start) your own self-care routine.
1. Lose the judgment.
When you’re unaccustomed to putting yourself first — many men are — self-care can feel selfish, over-indulgent. or like a complete waste of time. It might help to remember that “self” is not a dirty word. Before you’re a father, a brother, or an employee, you’re an individual, as worthy of proper care and consideration as anyone else.
Still struggling to prioritize your personal well-being? Try reminding yourself that before you can give your best self to others, you also need time to recharge. Maintaining your physical health and a positive attitude is an investment you’re making in everyone else in your life.
Secondly, it helps to be aware that self-care looks different for everyone. Just because some dude you follow on Instagram loves hiking, pole-vaulting, and running in 5K races, that doesn’t mean you have to. There’s zero shame in allowing yourself non-Instagrammable acts of self-care such as the occasional binge-watch of an entire series.
A huge part of effective self-care is embracing the freedom you have to pick healthy things that recharge you. The sooner you lose your expectations about what self-care “should” look like, the freer you’ll be to get started with something that helps you unwind.
2. Spoil yourself every now and then.
The key to this takeaway is to limit yourself to “every now and then.” One way to add value to your special experiences is to put them on your weekly planner. That way, as you toil through your work week, you can see that you’ve set aside time on Saturday morning to have breakfast out at your favorite restaurant, lounge around in your favorite pajamas, or stop by the hardware store to pick up that new power tool you’ve had your eye on for years.
The point is not to go crazy spending. That will only cause you problems further on up the road. Instead, the idea is to invest in a few affordable luxuries from time to time as a way of reinforcing the idea that you, as an individual, are worth investing in occasionally.
Maybe you decide to invest in your sleep and upgrade your bedding and pillowcases to silk or take advantage of blackout curtains. Self-care might even be free. Maybe you just need to set aside time to pursue a favorite hobby that you consistently neglect in the day-to-day rush to get things accomplished.
3. Pencil it in.
With all of life’s distractions, including family and work deadlines, self-care often finds itself at the back of the line. You might know all the steps required to care for yourself, but that’s useless if you never do them. This is why setting aside some time to address your legitimate needs is very often a step in the right direction.
Just as you would for a doctor or dentist appointment, block out some space on your calendar specifically to engage in acts of self-care. Whether you schedule this daily, weekly, or a few times a month is up to you. The key is to get into the routine of prioritizing your needs instead of blowing them off so many times that they never happen. Consider your self-care regimen as important as keeping a doctor’s appointment — try not to reschedule.
4. Practice some tough love…on yourself.
Self-care isn’t all about golf games or knocking back a few. Oftentimes it involves doing things that are new and maybe even uncomfortable. To upgrade your self-care to the next level, make a point of periodically tackling a hard task. That can be anything from sending a text or email you’ve been putting off to making an appointment to see a medical specialist.
The goal of this exercise is not just to push you to take care of a task you need to accomplish. It’s also a proven method for making “new thing anxiety” more manageable. When you’ve got a bunch of important tasks taking up real estate in your head, it’s hard to relax. Just being able to cross off one task from your “too hard” list will provide a sense of relief.
If you struggle with tackling uncomfortable tasks, that’s OK. Just start small and build. Break the difficult task down into steps and tackle one step per day. If you can do more, great, but don’t feel obligated to do so. For instance, you might dedicate today to writing out a list for cleaning the garage and tomorrow to getting started.
5. Keep yourself moving.
Whether you’re an exercise fanatic or a couch potato, the pandemic has probably negatively impacted your physical routine. However, keeping your body moving is more important than ever. Countless studies have identified a link between moderate exercise and positive boosts in mood and cognition.
That doesn’t mean you have to commit to running a marathon, but movement is a vital part of self-care. Even 20 minutes of cardio a day is enough to make a positive difference to your health. It will for sure make a difference in your overall level of gratitude.
If you aren’t a gym junkie by nature — many men are not — start by deciding what type of exercise you might enjoy. With restrictions changing constantly, you might not currently have access to a gym. However, there are stacks of fitness videos on YouTube to inspire you. Even a brisk walk outside can be a fantastic way to reap the physical and mental health benefits of exercise. Set an exercise schedule and challenge yourself to keep it.
6. Manufacture your own, internal “happy chemicals.”
The human brain produces several chemicals that help us feel contentment and pleasure. These “happy chemicals” include dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. If you wonder why some people are addicted to exercise, it might be because they know that you don’t need drugs or alcohol to feel better emotionally. Listed below are some ideas to help you harness your brain chemistry as an important part of your self-care.
- Dopamine — for motivation, learning, and pleasure — can be released by working on a to-do list, guided meditation, and creative pursuits such as writing or home improvement projects. Exercise has also been shown to boost dopamine
- Oxytocin — the “love hormone” — can be released by petting the family dog or sitting close to a loved one. Socialization (even virtual) helps, along with anything that involves touch, such as a massage.
- Serotonin — for mood regulation — can be increased by exposure to sunlight, physical activity, and a good night’s sleep. Practicing mindfulness can also help.
- Endorphins — for a quick high — can be released through exercise, eating spicy food, laughing, and (somewhat counterintuitively) even crying.
Self-care is vital for living a long and healthy life, particularly during these uncertain times. It’s great to spend the bulk of your day serving others, but at some point, you need to stop putting yourself last. Upgrade your self-care routine today. Consider the tips listed above and modify them to suit your situation and temperament as seems best to you.
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