Father Time is a weekly column dedicated to the concept of time in a parent’s life, particularly a father’s life. The point of view comes from a father of two young sons, both under three-years-old, and how time really is just that: a concept.
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There’s an Instagram feed called “daily_motiv8tion” that posts quotes about life and living, most of which are supposed to amp you up, or at least remind you to keep a positive outlook. Some of the quotes shake you up, and keep you from whining about the little things. Two recent quotes went as such:
“Money is the physical representation of time.”
And,
“There is no return policy for wasted time.”
We’ve all heard the classic variation of the first one: “Time is Money,” so I won’t dwell on that one. It’s the second quote, however, that really hits home, especially as a parent. In the microcosm of a family, where time is like money (i.e. handled like currency), squandered time is like throwing your money away. Pouring it down the drain, etc., etc.
Example: One evening I was looking up some information about a giant squid for a fiction project, when I saw a link to “The Cutest Bear Attack Ever.” I clicked, watched it, then found myself clicking on other adorable and interesting links until I was scrolling through “Unattractive Spouses of Hot Celebrites.”
This meaningless searching was, of course, during the after-the-kids-are-in-bed time, which my wife and I savor, and during that time, I wasted a grand total of about 30 minutes and accomplished absolutely nothing.
If free time is the most valuable, then we really have to stay focused not to waste it.
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Thirty minutes might not seem like a lot of time, but in the grand scheme of parenting and #dadlife, that’s like a tiny vacation. A mental vacation, that is.
So what? Maybe my mind needed that mindless wandering. I felt bad, sure, looking up stuff that teaches me nothing, plus, I walked away with the major distinction that those minutes add up, so I shouldn’t waste them. Every moment we get for ourselves, we should take the opportunity to do something that enriches us. Should being the operative word.
It’s so easy to turn on the TV or fall down the social media rabbit hole. It’s probably just as easy to open that book that’s been sitting on your shelf and read a page. At least a page. If free time is the most valuable, then we really have to stay focused not to waste it.
Raise your hand if you have a video baby monitor. It’s a tiny window into your child’s life. You can hear them and see them when they’re having quiet time, or after you’ve tucked them in for nap or bedtime. It truly is an adorable peek into their unfolding world. One thing I’ve observed as my two-year-old approaches two and a half, is that he wastes no time.
After we put him to bed, he lies there, talking and mumbling in the dark, letting his little mind wind down. The next day, about the same time every morning, he shuffles out of bed and flips the switch to turn on the little paper lantern that hangs in the corner of his bedroom. He brings some toys to his bed—the twisty abacus-like contraption from Ikea, the stackable bowls, and the three small dump trucks—and gets right to work.
The beauty of being a child is that they have free time all day. Their world is free time. What we as their parents should remember is to be more like them. Make our work as professionals and parents more like play. If we focus on that one thing right in front of us, be it the pile of reports, the stack of dishes, or the three little dump trucks, we just might have some fun with it, and not feel like we’ve wasted any time at all.
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Photo credit: Robert Couse-Baker.