There’s an invisible wall between many men and the opposite sex today. A wall that seems to be impossible to scale. They’re here, women are there, they don’t know how to get to them, and they also don’t know what to do about it. They’re lonely and sexually/romantically unfulfilled.
It’s like women bounce further than a prime Michael Jordan whenever these men make the slightest misstep. Or maybe they find themselves consistently trapped within the iron bars of the life-long prison sentence called the friend zone.
If that’s true for you, this post will go a long way towards turning everything around. So, with that in mind, if you’re ready to fix this problem, let’s get to it.
You ready?!
Here come the pain!
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Your vibe is everything
Highlight that statement, save it on your freaking phone, and reflect on it day and night because those four words are the key to ending your romantic and sexual misery. There’s so much theory about the best ways to talk to a woman. Some men swear blind that you need to break your conversations down to digital code more akin to hacking a mainframe than having a real conversation.
- If she says this, do this.
- When she does that, say that.
Etc, etc, and on and Ariston. These guys want every possible convo with a woman mapped out like the periodic table of elements, but I say screw that. I don’t know about you, but I love to bond with women, not solve biological Rubick’s Cubes.
Yes, that stuff works, but it’s time-consuming, takes a knife to the neck of any possible emotional connection, and doesn’t solve the underlying issue of why women currently don’t want you.
So, with that in mind, just what the hell did I mean when I said your vibe is everything? Well…
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Your vibe is the sum total of the thoughts, feelings, & intentions your black ass has at any given moment
- Do you enjoy the feeling of being in your own body?
- Do you have good intentions towards the woman you’re talking to?
- Are you there with a full cup of self-worth and simply giving her the benefit of a great time that’s sure to make her day better?
Or are you actually the exact opposite of all the above?
- Do you dislike the feeling of being you?
- Do you secretly have bad intentions towards her?
- Do you need her attention to validate your miserable existence?
- Are you there to take energy from her rather than give it?
Women find men who can say yes to the first list absurdly attractive. And yep, you guessed it, they tend to be passionately disgusted by men who say yes to list number two.
Men who know their worth and come to women like beacons of positivity who can’t help but beam good vibes into the cosmos are like catnip smeared with gold dust.
However, those who come begging to have their empty cups of self-worth filled by female validation are akin to something brown, sticky and stinky scraped off the bottom of their blue suede Jimmy Choo shoes.
To be honest, it’s time to take accountability and take some self-reflection to ask yourself which of those you really are. And then, assuming you’re in the category you hope you aren’t, ask yourself what you’re prepared to do about it.
But I need to let you know you’re in good company because, like I said at the start, many men have this issue. Hell, yours truly was Weirdy McWeirdface as a teenager and deep into his 20s. So many of us approach women with caps in hand like tramps (bums to the Yanks) begging for change.
Our cups don’t runneth over with self-worth; they’re bone dry, meaning women know that we know that they know that we know we have no real value.
So many men subconsciously communicate that they know they’re not worthy of the woman they’re talking to. It’s obvious they sincerely believe women are getting the raw end of the deal by giving them the time of day.
But guess what?
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When you think you’re not good enough, people (not just women) will believe you
If you think you’re beneath women, they’ll pick up on it, assume you’re right (because who knows you better than you?), and form the same opinion.
Despite what we’d all hope to be true, a woman isn’t going to spot a microscopic seed of potential deep within the soul of some man she’s just met (that even he doesn’t see) and take the necessary time to build him up like his favourite primary school teacher (God bless you, Mrs Fairhurst x). She’ll just see him how he sees himself and act accordingly, which usually means turning into the Ghost of Christmas past.
Here’s an example of what a great vibe looks like
The woman I’m talking to in the video below is someone I’d literally just approached 5 minutes before. Notice how we’re vibing with each other. Notice how she feeds off the energy I’ve brought to the interaction and genuinely enjoys being with me.
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This is what happens when you have a great vibe. People find it infectious. Now, of course, no matter what you do, not everybody will like you because there isn’t a man alive who’s wanted by 100% of the women he meets.
But to have the absolute best possible chance of having the women you want, want you, a great vibe is essential. It’s as critical to your love life as oxygen is to your actual life.
OK, Ciaran, sweet. A great vibe is as essential as oxygen. Got it. But how in the world does one imbue oneself with such a thing? How exactly does one make the ladies go Lady Gaga?
I was getting to that, bro; give a brother a chance!
Four killer tips to create a vibe the ladies love
1 – Talk yourself up like you’re the mother freaking man
Thinking you’re a piece of crap and hoping to attract women is like trying to wrestle a sumo wrestler when you’re five days into an 8-day water fast. Sabotage in the nth degree. Talk to yourself with the same love you’d want your 7-year-old niece to have for herself. Do so religiously, and see how things change for you.
2 – Focus on her, not you
What kind of person does she look like? Does she seem bright? Creative? Artistic? Corporate? Sporty? Mildly aggressive? Also, what’s she wearing, and what sort of energy does she have?
If you’re thinking about her, you won’t be ruminating over how you’re not good enough or about to mess up the interaction. It’ll also give you tons of things to talk about.
Conversational topics are all around you; you only need to be open to them and stop judging yourself.
3 – Pay attention to your surroundings
What can you see, hear, smell, or taste? Do you love the new Drake song that’s playing in the background? If so, nod your head to it like you would if she wasn’t there and do a two-step while you’re at it.
Have fun in your own skin and create an infectious field of magnetic energy that she will love, but most importantly, you will, too. Just like with the last point, focusing on your environment will make it nigh-on impossible for you to think negative thoughts because your brain can only focus on one thing at a time.
4 – Give her the gift of you
Let’s say I gave you 10 million dollars and told you to approach a beautiful woman and give it to her; I doubt you’d be scared, would you? Exactly. Of course, you wouldn’t. Now, why is that?
BECAUSE YOU’D KNOW YOU WERE GIVING HER VALUE
Think about that. You have no fear when you’re giving her 10 million dollars, but you do when the only thing you have to offer is yourself.
This means you don’t think you have inherent value, and that’s no good whatsoever. So, in future, approach your female interactions with that mindset. Give them the ten million USD smackeroos that is the gift of interacting with you.
If you believe it, so will they. You got this.
Excelsior!
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Picking up what I’m putting down? Get my book Meet & Keep Your Dream Women and subscribe to my new publication about dating & relationships Da Hard Truth.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: No Revisions on Unsplash