I’ve been taught my whole life that “life is so much better when you’re in a relationship”. Being in your late 20s and still single? Oh, a big no-no.
Gosh, I’ve never been so wrong about this.
We’re sold to that idea that once a Prince charming comes, our life will magically change — for the better.
It took me years to learn that it can only happen if you are with the right person. Only then, it doesn’t necessarily make your life 100% better.
Because of this false belief, many people are forcing a relationship that’s just plain toxic. They stay because, well, it still looks better than being single.
Apparently, that’s not always the case.
To me, you’re better off single if:
1. Your relationship has become very, very toxic
Many toxic relationships happen slowly and subtly. You can be madly in love and have great chemistry with someone. One year in, your partner starts being a control freak.
The biggest mistake you can make in this situation is to sit around and wait for them to change to how they used to be. It’s not happening.
They’re showing you their true color. And you need to see it as is.
I’ve seen enough people who stay in a toxic relationship for years. Sooner or later, they don’t even know if they deserve a healthy relationship.
They’re so used to it that they consider toxic behaviors common in a relationship. They forget that they were doing just fine before they were in one.
Now, they can’t seem to imagine themselves being alone.
2. Being in a relationship makes you feel more depressed and insecure
You’re better off being single if being with someone makes you even more miserable.
It doesn’t matter how perfect your partner looks. What matters is how they make you feel.
If they make you feel awful all the time instead of feeling appreciated, something isn’t right.
While being in a relationship wouldn’t necessarily make you a happy person, it shouldn’t make you a worse version of yourself. You should be able to thrive together alongside your partner.
One of the reasons why I love being with my current partner is because he makes me feel like I can achieve any goals I set for myself.
He’s very supportive of my overall life goals and dreams.
It’s true when they say a relationship can break or make you. Make sure it’s doing the latter to you.
3. You aren’t mentally and emotionally in a good place yet
Being in a healthy relationship has a lot to do with how emotionally secure you are.
Most people don’t achieve that because they refuse to work on their insecurities. They keep failing at keeping a relationship together.
Instead of taking a break from dating, they keep pushing through and creating more trauma for themselves.
I’ve heard the statement that you shouldn’t be in a relationship when you’re lost and have low self-esteem.
I highly agree with it because I’ve been there. I forced myself to be in a relationship when I didn’t even know my worth.
Staying single (even if it feels lonely sometimes) will help you to be more focused on working on your internal issues. You won’t be distracted and all over the place because you know your priority.
4. You think your life revolves around your partner
Perhaps, you’ve been making decisions based on your partner’s needs. You don’t prioritize yourself enough and eventually hit burnout.
Those are clear signs that you aren’t in a healthy relationship. Being single again might be something that you need right now.
I don’t believe in making your relationship your whole identity. Even if your work life/social life is boring as hell.
It’s necessary for you to still have things going on outside your relationship.
At least, this is the lesson I learned from spending too much time chasing guys in my early 20s.
None of them made me content or happy. It’s far from it.
Even when they wanted to commit to me, I still felt like a “follower” because I changed and made my life pretty much about them.
Girls glorify the idea of “stressing over boys”, and how life feels so empty without them. Yet the boys they chase are busy fulfilling their dreams.
If you’re too stressed about that one guy who sends mixed signals, this is a reminder to let him go and refocus on yourself.
Don’t have time to read through each point? Here’s the recap on four signs you’re better off single:
- You don’t have a life outside your relationship and make it all about your partner.
- You aren’t ready yet to invest in someone else because you’re in a good place mentally and emotionally.
- Being with someone makes you more depressed and insecure.
- Your relationship has become toxic, and it only brings out the worst sides of you.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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