40 Things To Do By the Time 40 Rolls Around

I’m starving. I can feel my stomach eating itself. Does that actually happen? I think I may be overdramatizing this thing. I’m not actually hungry either. My body wants sugar. My body needs the sugar! I am currently on a sugar fast, wherein I am starving myself of the delicious refined sugar that usually sustains my very soul. I’m forty-five minutes in.

So if I sway a bit off track with this post, please disregard the blunder. It is simply my brain pleading for the high fructose corn syrup that it so desperately yearns.

40 things to do by the time 40 rolls around. Well, I can tell you one thing, never go on a sugar fast again, that’s for sure. But I won’t add that because I am told that depriving myself of this sweet, sweet nectar will end up doing me a world of good on all fronts of the health spectrum. We’ll see about that. In the meantime, here is a list (because who doesn’t love a list!?) of 40 things I’d like to do before I turn 40.

#40 Binge watch the complete series of The Office at least five more times.

The Office is the cure for anything that ails you. I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that this show is actually a cure for low-level depression. And I don’t doubt that one bit.

If you don’t believe me, that’s fine. You are entitled to your wrong opinion.

#39 Read poetry at a spoken word event.

I keep saying I want to do this, and yet the opportunity has presented itself several times in the past years. What #39 should actually say is, Be Brave Enough to Read Poetry at a Spoken Word Event.

#38 Attend a blog/writing conference.

Any conference, really. I want to be a conference kind of person.

#37 Relax on a beach.

This doesn’t seem very inspirational, but it deserves a place on the list with being stuck at home for the past year.

#36 Spend a week in Banff National Park.

Banff is my daughter’s favourite place in the world. I tried to explain that the world is a pretty big place, and there may be…Nope, she interrupted. It’s Banff. Best place ever. And I must say, it is pretty beautiful in Banff.

#35 Take a family holiday to the east coast of Canada.

Halifax, PEI, New Brunswick, they all look so beautiful.

#34 A helicopter ride would be cool.

#33 Go to my Favourite local fine-dining eatery and order EVERYTHING off the menu.

My closest friends will be invited to join me, so you had better start sucking up now so you too can get in on this.

#32 Learn how to jog properly.

As it stands now (pun most definitely intended), I look like an injured gorilla pogoing down the trail in short increments, then stopping sporadically to dry heave from exertion. I could probably work on that.

#31 Make time for reading.

I used to be an avid reader. As of late, I can never find the time. Reading nourishes the soul and the brain. There is literally no downside to it.

#30 Publish a book.

Well (humble brag), technically, I’ve published two books on self-publishing platforms. Now I want to go for the big time and find a publisher who wants to sell my work.

#29 Learn how to play Minecraft.

Do you “play” Minecraft? In any case, learn how to do whatever it is you do in Minecraft and surprise my son by building a whole city or house or, you know, the thing you build in that game. I clearly need to do some research on this one.

#28 Build a greenhouse.

Fresh fruits and vegetables are the absolute bomb-diggity.

#27 Choose local retailers whenever possible.

This isn’t so much a “do before” forty thing but rather a “get in the habit of” type situation.

#26 Go on a girl’s vacation with friends.

I’m always hearing about women going on these weekend getaways and Vegas trips with the girls. Like, where are you people getting all of this free time from? In the last five years, I could rarely find time to get home for Christmas, let alone plan a week away in Mexico. But this is definitely something I could get down with, so it shall go on the list.

#25 Do a real push up.

Yep, that’s on the list.

#24 Be an extra in a movie.

#23 Go to a drive-in movie.

#22 Donate blood.

I really could do that, like right now. This is sort of chalking up to a “things my social anxiety is stopping me from doing” list.

#21 Find a nice llama I can introduce to my daughter.

This sounds weird, but she is obsessed with the Llamas, and she would think meeting a Llama was just the bee’s knees.

#20 Meet or even just interact on social media with Caitlin Moran.

I am obsessed with The Times Journalist Caitlin Moran. She is very, very cool, you guys. If you have not heard of this amazing woman, I give you permission to leave this article immediately and google her. You will not be disappointed.

#19 Write a letter to my fifty-year-old self.

It would be all like, “Hey, you old bag of bones, how’s it going biiiitch!?” And then fifty-year-old-me would be all like, “oh my god, what the hell was wrong with me back then?”

Disclaimer: I do not by any stretch of the imagination think that 50 is old. By “old bag of bones,” I’m referring to the fact that I personally will be a decrepit weakling in all likelihood by that age, judging by my current state of health and fitness.

#18 Cook more with my husband

We are bakers by trade but rarely get to cook or make dinner together. Sharing a bottle of wine while talking about the day and preparing your family a meal is just about the greatest thing ever.

#17 Have an article published in the New York Time’s Modern Love section.

#16 Go for walks daily.

It cleanses the dark stuff from the soul.

#15 Give me a spa day.

#14 Set up a back yard movie theatre for family night.

#13 Go to a Rocky Horror Picture Show theatre night.

#12 Embarrass my kids as much as possible.

Look, my kids love me, and I love them, but what is a mother-child relationship without the embarrassing woman shouting from the car window, “Hunny, did you remember to ask your friend about the underwear that was forgotten at last weekend’s sleepover?”

#11 Volunteer, like, at least once in my life?

#10 Learn to be grateful for what I have.

#9 Drink a $100 bottle of wine…all to myself (and not feel guilty about it), but maybe that should be on the 100 things to do before I hit the 100 list.

#8 Buy a local piece of artwork.

#7 Invest in myself and my abilities.

#6 Learn to upcycle.

Now, how to transform this rusty nail I found in the grass the other day?

#5 Put extra time and money into our home.

Home is the place where we go to unwind. It should be cared for well.

#4 Find the right moisturizer.

You’d think by 35, I would have found the right moisturizer. Nope, I’m currently just dealing with what seems to be adolescent acne and age wrinkles simultaneously. Fun!

#3 Sit in a book store all afternoon and read.

Without worrying about anything.

#2 Create a children’s book with my kids.

#1 Stop worrying so much about what I need to check off a list to feel whole about myself.

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Previously Published on medium.com

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Photo credit: by Henk Mul on Unsplash