The best date I ever had was my first date with Florida native Christine. We had met once before by chance at a common friend’s marriage where we quickly fell into effortless conversation. A few days later we were on a real lunch date at a nice restaurant. From there we strolled over to Central Park.
You definitely don’t want to appear as a person with only one aspect to his personality.
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Like anyone else, I wanted to present my best self on that first date and had plans to force myself to be more interesting and sensible. But, what worked best was “being myself”. We had a long conversation that could only be described as magical. It was all loaded with quick really interesting small stories, a little bit of snappy banter where one story begot three more. Like, “one time when I went to Japan” story, and “I went to Asia for a friends marriage” and “my most adventurous trip was…” story and more. This date lasted 6 hours without one awkward silence.
The secret of this successful first date was that we were able to build chemistry in no time.
If you want your date to go anywhere then get that all-necessary chemistry crackling between you as quickly as possible. It doesn’t need to be a great effort or does it need to be as easy as leaving it to fate. You just need to be yourself, have some depth in your conversation, and connect emotionally. No matter how funny, entertaining, or relaxed the chat may be between the two of you, at some point you’ll feel a need to go further and develop a deeper connection.
Be natural, use the environment and circumstances as opportunities for developing deep connection with your date.
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You definitely don’t want to appear as a person with only one aspect to his personality. An ordinary conversation will eventually get stale and both of you will have a hard time relating with each other. So make sure that you are not stuck on small talk that feels more like a job interview. Try engaging into longer and relating interactions simply to have a nice time together while getting to know more about each other.
When you are talking only about your routine lifestyle, like where you live, what you do and your hobbies, it can be incredibly difficult to get a sense of who someone is and what makes them tick.But at the same time, it is not about asking meaningful and deep questions that might be uncomfortable until you get better acquainted.
Here are 5 easy conversations starters that jump start chemistry.
These will allow the person to reveal more about themselves, so you can understand their personality and know your compatibility. And after reading these tips, you might also like to check out some of the expert dating sites reviews to know which websites you want to register with to find a perfect match for yourself.
#1 — Which place do you love travelling to and what do you enjoy most about it?
This is one such topic that can help your date loosen up a bit and let you get a glimpse of their actual personality. If the person has been to some place that is of significance in their life they would love to talk about it. This would allow them to draw memories of that place, share their experiences and most importantly talk about things they are passionate about.
#2 — What would your perfect day be like?
Knowing about a person’s aspirations and inspirations can reveal a great deal about their personality. And this question indirectly brings that out. It is a lighthearted question that can be real fun as you’ll be talking about an ideal world where you are happy and have total control of your life. This is the best way to know how creative and imaginative the person is and what they like to do in an ideal world.
#3 — What do you like most about your job?
Career related questions are inevitable as it tell us how we spend most of our time. But you can choose to go beyond simply asking what they do and rather ask a more interesting question like this one. This can reveal a lot about that person. For example, if someone says that the best thing about their job is interacting with people and solving their problems, you can clearly assume that they like to help others in trouble. A helpful nature is no doubt an attractive quality to fall for in a person.
But if someone says that they do not like their job, you have another opportunity of knowing more about that person by asking what they would like to be doing instead.
#4 — What were you like when you were a kid?
You can even try saying, “May I make a guess what were you like as a kid?” No matter if you make a good guess or not, their childhood memories can be fun to talk about. Even more it can be surprising to know how someone was as a kid and how much they have changed. It provides you a nice opportunity to get a more well-rounded view of who they are.
#5 — Who would you most like to have a drink/coffee with?
This sounds a little serious, but in fact it can be very interesting to know what someone is interested in and who inspires them. It can be very surprising who they choose and how much they follow their examples in their lives. Such discussions are not small talk, as these can easily lead to other interesting conversations.
If you remember that first date nerves are inevitable and do not think much about saying the right thing or what should not be said you will be able to move through them much more easily. Just accept that being nervous and awkward silences are naturally going to happen, so you can relax and focus more on sharing a few fun or interesting stories about yourself. Just be natural, use the environment and circumstances as opportunities for developing deep connection with your date.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Thanks to comment Lilly! I hope you will teach your partner to be communicative or you can tall him about you and ask his reviews about you in this way he would find himself comfortable to share his own feelings and thoughts with you.
Those are nice starter conversations but if you are trying and planing that and don’t have any plan B topics you will end up like I did while dating one guy I met at partyline.com he was shy, I’m not so sure. What to do if someone is just not communicative?