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Play therapy is essential for many children, and it can be extremely helpful in connecting with your autistic child. As a parent, whether you are autistic or not, you may struggle to connect with or understand the mind of your autistic child. This struggle can make you feel like they don’t love you, don’t understand you, or can’t connect with you.
However, this is far from the case. There are ways to connect with your autistic child through play therapy that allow you both to bring something to the table and communicate in a way that their mind understands.
Here are five ways to practice play therapy at home with your child.
Play in a Way They Understand
It’s so important to put everything you know about “playing” and how children “should be” outside of your mind when it comes to playing with your autistic child. Autism causes a difference in the mind, and every autistic child is different. It’s important to see your child as the individual that they are and know that they might not understand the way other kids play.
For example, many autistic children like to play by lining up their toys or creating scenes (that they don’t play with). For them, the fun in the exercise is creating something or seeing a pattern that wasn’t there before. Perhaps they enjoy organizing their toys by color or seeing how they feel in their mouth.
If you notice your child trying to do something dangerous, it may be a sensory-seeking behavior, so it’s important to redirect them gently and allow them to still get the sensory input in a safe way. For example, if your child wants to chew on a small toy that could be a choking hazard, get them a larger chew toy to replace it.
If your child wants to sort blocks, sort blocks with them. Don’t try to redirect them if it’s not hurting anyone. They’ll likely be pleased to see you joining in on something they like to do. It can even make them feel understood.
Let Them Guide the Play
It’s also important to let your child guide their playtime with you. If they don’t want to play with dolls, don’t make them play with dolls. Play should be fun and exciting for your child, and forcing them to do something that only makes you feel good is not a safe way to bond.
Try a Play Therapy Exercise
You can also try a planned play therapy exercise with your kid. Know that you likely can’t control every step along the way, but you may find a new type of playing that your child enjoys by trying these.
Sensory Play
Many autistic children are sensory seekers, which means they enjoy experiencing more sensory input in some areas and less in others. Other children may shy away from any sensory input, such as loud noises, bright colors, or confusing shapes. Find out where your child’s sensory sensitivities are and where they enjoy sensory seeking. The things they seek are the things you should use for this exercise.
Here are some ideas for sensory play:
- A sandbox for them to put their hands in
- Clay or molding material to make art or to feel in the hands (choose a non-toxic variety)
- Chew toys to put in the mouth (at a safe size for their age)
- Soft blankets and stuffed animals to cuddle with
- Boxes to sort shapes into
- Colorful fidget toys
- Slime to play with and touch
- Foods to sample
- Music to listen to and dance to
Depending on your child’s needs, mix up a few of the sensory items and put them in a room with you and your child. Playing on the floor is best. Let your child choose which items they want to experiment with, and don’t redirect them unless they’re doing something dangerous to themselves or others.
You can learn so much about your child’s mind by just observing and playing along with them.
Imaginative Play
Autistic children may be extremely imaginative or struggle greatly with imagination. There don’t seem to be a lot of grey areas. A great way to remedy this is to help lead imaginative play. Autistic minds often like labels and sorting. So, instead of asking your child “who they want to be,” give them a character to play.
Set up a “stage” in your living room with themed items and help them imagine the character. Give them a name, a purpose, and a reason to play. They will likely respond better to this than being asked to lead or come up with something that they can’t tangibly express. Here’s an example:
Sarah is a mother to a 5-year-old autistic girl. Every time they play “pretend” together, her daughter, Giselle, has difficulty coming up with a character to play. One day, Sarah told Giselle they would be playing a story together. Giselle would be a princess named “Eve” whose goal was to save the family dog from the laundry room. Together, they would go on a “long” journey through the house, doing different tasks to find the key to the laundry room to save the family dog and give her a hug. Giselle liked knowing what she would be doing and played the role well, participating in the activities assigned.
Sorting
Many autistic children like to sort their toys into patterns. If this sounds like your child, getting a sorting box or buying bulk toys for your child to sort can be a fun activity for you both.
Open Your Mind
It’s essential to open your mind when playing with your autistic child. After all, their mind likely works differently than yours. It’s important to try to see them as a complex individual who has their own unique needs. They aren’t their diagnosis, they aren’t like every other autistic child, and they likely have strengths and weaknesses in unique areas. Open your mind to seeing them past a functioning label and look into their heart.
Make a Story Come to Life
One final way you can utilize play therapy with your autistic child is by making a story come to life for them. Find a short story that your child enjoys listening to and keep their attention by acting it out or bringing props. You could do a puppet show, create a YouTube video, or even create props to put around the house for the child to find or play with during a part of the story. There are many ways to make a story more interactive and fun, and your autistic child may love it!
Of course, if they ever need a break, take a break. Never force your child to play when they are stressed or expressing a different need.
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