Tired & ready to give up, Dyllon Charron decided that instead of living a life he didn’t want, he was going to change it; one step at a time.
I woke up at 25 and realized something that would change my life forever. I wasn’t happy… with who I was, or where I was, or what I was doing.
And the funny thing was, I really had no idea how I’d gotten to where I was.
I somehow let that teenage boy who dreamed of so much and tried so hard to get there, slip away; and in his place was this phony. This fake. This pretender of false pretenses.
After a lifetime of battling depression and struggling daily with its unerring bombardment, I knew I was onto something.
I took the next year to really evaluate where I was and where I wanted to go.
I came up with three things that I knew I truly wanted from this life:
I want to start my own company.
I want to be an author who makes a difference.
I want to travel the world.
Right now, my life is not in a way that I can make these things happen. I have too many habits and rituals and general disorder, that every time I make time to start working towards one of my goals, I drop off again.
And no matter what the reason, it’s on me.
I can’t use my depression as a reason for everything that I don’t accomplish. I mean, I could, but I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be the guy who wakes up one day and just smiles, because it’s been weeks since I’ve been depressed— because I’ll have found a way to keep it at bay; because I’ve found a lifestyle that makes me happy.
In order to address how my life needs to change, I need to evaluate it to understand what needs changing.
Right now, it’s not in a fit state:
It’s havoc. I am a sheep in wolf-skin. I strive to be different by covering who I am with a desire for more. Yet, I have not done more, so I am not yet more. I am a sheep.
Three days a week I attend a Huaquan Kung Fu class an hour away from my home. Usually I see my girlfriend’s mother for dinner one night a week, and a good friend of mine another night of the week.
I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, as we live together, but we have had a mess of it the past year. She has a terrible back, making physical activity difficult most of the time. She was also diagnosed with Endometriosis & lost her job because of her health problems. We in turn lost our apartment because we couldn’t afford it and ended up bouncing around from place to place for the past year. We are only now getting back on our feet.
Over the course of the next 52 weeks, I will be changing one thing about my life every week. I will write about how this change has affected me, how studies have recorded changes like this in people’s lives to have affected them, and I will decide what my next change is going to be. These changes will compile over the course of 52 weeks, or, until I find what I am looking for and my life gets on course.
We are all on a journey. Let me share mine so that you may find ways to better travel on yours.
The first step: The first step always feel more like a leap. As we venture from a place where we feel comfortable to new and unfamiliar territory.
There is so much of my life that I dislike. So many habits and rituals and actions and things that I say that I have grown into, and now have come to detest. These things leave such a sour taste in my mouth that I was not sure where I should begin to change them.
I did something I don’t normally do, last week. I went for a run. It was somewhere between 2-3 miles. I cranked it out in around 27 minutes and felt revitalized afterwards, instead of tired and sore, but accomplished, as I suspected I would feel.
That got me thinking.
Before I really dive into a huge change, I need to evaluate who I am and where I am.
I work a Monday through Friday job behind a desk 8:30-5. I’m usually up at 7:50, changed, and out the door in 10 minutes. I arrive to work, make a coffee, and begin the daily grind.
Prime mental function arises 2-4 hours after we awake. This is the optimal time to do your important creative and constructive thinking.
I have always been a get-up-and-go type. I know now, that the reason I’ve done this my entire life is because I dislike my daily routine. I am depressed. I hate knowing that I have to spend 8 hours in a place I dislike, and rather than change the place I am in, or change my outlook, I take the “easy” way out and solve my problems like a child.
I don’t hate my job— I’m grateful for the peace and quiet behind my desk with time to write in between projects.
I have cabin fever daily (I’m an outdoor nut), but I manage it.
All I want to do, at least at first, is to give myself a new start to each day.
Studies have shown that those who take the mornings for themselves are often the happiest. I have never risen and had the morning for myself.
I’ve worked a job before where I had to be up at 3:40 to be into work for 4AM. It was easy enough to get there, but there was no way I was going to get up earlier to give myself a “morning,” 3AM is and always will be late night for me.
Now, however, since I don’t have to leave my house until 8AM, I will get up at 6AM.
2 full hours for myself. Every morning.
What can you do with 2 hours?
Well, you can live without air for seven minutes, and you can save a life in several seconds; I’m sure I can figure out a productive way to spend my mornings.
I’ll report back next week about how this has affected me, and what it has made me think about for my next change.
Life is a long journey. One where we step and misstep to find out what we love and where we want to be. I hope these little lessons of mine resonate with you. Share some of the experiences and changes that have made your life better!
Photo: Flickr/ Kristina Alexanderson