“Charm is more valuable than beauty. You can resist beauty but you can’t resist charm.”
— Audrey Tautou.
As the quote says above, charm is more than just beauty.
Charm is more than just beauty.
Beauty can come and go, but charm stays with a person for the rest of your life. It’s part of who you are. You can make people naturally drawn to you.
Charm isn’t just about appearances; it’s about having qualities that make people feel good around you. Physical beauty can change over time.
Charm is a unique piece of your personality that doesn’t fade away easily.
Charm isn’t limited to specific people. It’s a universal language, everyone can understand charm. It doesn’t matter how old you are or where you come from — charm destroys these differences.
It’s a way of showing kindness and creating connections that leave a lasting impact. People will remember you simply for the way you made them feel.
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1# You Have a Warm Energy + Smiles A Lot.
“A smile is the universal welcome.”
— Max Eastman.
The actress Audrey Hepburn once said, “I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills.”
A warm smile can melt your heart and make you fall in love with the person. Your smile radiates friendliness, warm energy, and a sense of feeling welcomed.
Your smile can make anyone feel at ease in your presence.
Have you ever heard of the, “Your smile can brighten someone’s day.”
As a woman, I really love it when a guy has a genuine smile with a warm sense of energy. That makes me feel comfortable and safe in his presence.
There are times when I don’t feel like smiling but I smile anyway, yet I still get compliments from people such as, “Oh my God, I love your smile!” —I get happy when I get these compliments on my bad days, it makes my day better.
You appear 10x times more attractive and charming when you have a natural smile. You become more likable when you have warm energy because it shows people that you’re not a threat.
How To Apply?
I’m just saying, that if you want to be liked, smile, It doesn’t matter if you don’t like your smile, do it anyway, one day it becomes natural for you to smile.
You have a warm energy when you’re at peace with yourself. You have forgiven people in the past. You don’t carry hatred inside yourself. You practice mindfulness. You enjoy the time you spend in nature. You know your worth and you’re surrounded by good people.
The first people look at is your eyes, to see if you have warm or cold energy.
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2# You’re a Good Listener.
“To be interesting, be interested.”
— Dale Carnegie, author of How To Win Friends and Influence People.
Charming people are active listeners.
You are not just waiting for your turn to talk; you genuinely engage with what other people are saying. You reflect on what the person just said.
You know when to talk and when to listen.
It can be a very hard and tricky challenge if you feel like you’ve so many valuable things to say at the moment. I understand that but believe me;
I still struggle with this a little bit but I’ve gotten better.
You may feel like you need to say something right now because you may forget it later on, but it doesn’t matter, you gonna say what you wanna say anyway, somehow.
Charming people don’t listen just to say something out of their ego. They listen because they’re trying to understand what the other people are saying, understanding from their perspective and giving them time to talk.
They know when it’s their time to talk simply by following the moment, they sense a feeling that the other person doesn’t have anything to say anymore, and that’s when they step in and talk about what they think.
Charming people are confident and confident people are quiet.
Remember this quote
“We don’t listen to hear, we listen to respond.”
— Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
How To Apply?
When you notice yourself interrupting, take a deep breath and step back again, letting the other person continue to talk. Stop caring about what you have to say and start enjoying what the other person is saying while you are meditating at the moment.
Take a deep breath and trust your intuition. Get a sense of when it’s your time to talk and when it’s the other person’s time to talk. You can apply this better when you apply meditation in your daily practice. Watch videos of people having a conversation and see what makes their conversation great.
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3# You Give Comfortable Compliment.
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”
— Mother Teresa.
Your compliments have the power to make someone’s day better. When you give sincere compliments, you spread positivity. You can lift someone’s spirit up simply by telling them how beautiful they look.
But be mindful of your compliments, I feel uncomfortable when a guy lovesbombs me with compliments and won’t leave me alone.
When it comes to general social life… Comfortable compliments like “Your creativity always amazes me” or “You have a great sense of humor” show that you appreciate someone’s unique qualities.
How To Apply?
First of all, be mindful of your compliments, “Does this sound creepy?” or “Does this sound comfortable and appropriate?” — Show genuine appreciation by focusing on their positive qualities.
You can say something like, “You look really elegant in that outfit, it suits you very well.” or “Congratulations on achieving your goal, you deserve it.” with a happy smile.
It makes you come off as someone who notices all the positive details of someone. On top of that, you could also say “Your creativity is inspiring, you have a unique talent.” — The key is to be sincere and genuine while maintaining your calm and friendly manner/energy.
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4# You Remember People’s Names.
“A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language.”
— Dale Carnegie.
Do you ever feel appreciated when someone remembers your name?
I feel important and valued when someone remembers my name. Some people come off as interesting because they remember someone’s name and when you remember someone’s name, you appear quite intelligent to me.
Remembering someone’s name means you have a good memory, making you seem more smart and more aware of your surroundings. Being smart and aware of your surroundings makes you charming.
How To Apply?
If you’re having trouble remembering names, try repeating the name after you hear it and using it in the conversation. Take the small step.
After you’ve talked to the person, write their name down on your phone or on a note and try to repeat the name when you come home after a long day, or practice repeating the name over and over again in your head.
It’s a small effort that can make a big impact.
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5# You Have Empathy And Understanding.
“Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”
— Brené Brown.
I instantly dislike people who refuse to have any empathy for what people are going through and don’t want to understand you but try hard to make you understand them. They become 10x times less likable to me.
When you have empathy and understanding, you become charming. You would think about the way you treated something before you go to bed.
You analyze a situation that has happened earlier, making you think “Could I have handled the situation in a better way?” or “Was I a little too harsh?”
When you empathize with someone, you create a connection that goes beyond words. You make people feel safe in your space. Your empathy makes you appear more charming and beautiful from the inside out.
Empathy creates bonds, no empathy splits people.
CONTINUE
How To Apply?
First of all, you have to stop convincing people to understand your point of view. If someone wants to share how they feel, listen, don’t start a discussion, it’s stupid and pointless at the moment.
Listen to understand, not to respond.
But if you feel disrespected when you share your point of view, reconsider the relationship/friendship, but that’s another topic for another time.
It helps a lot to say things like “I can imagine how that must have felt” because it shows that you truly understand their emotions, it shows that you see their pain and frustrations.
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6# You Have Calm And Confident Body Language.
“Your body language shapes who you are.”
— Amy Cuddy.
This is a really wise quote.
She talks about how important it is to have positive body language. In simpler words, it means the way you stand, sit, and move can tell others a lot about how you feel inside.
Your body language speaks for your feelings. It’s like your emotions speak in your body language without using words. The energy never lies.
Your body language never lies, it always tells the truth, even if you’re saying something totally opposite. People can sense it in you. Be more self-aware.
Imagine this: the way you hold yourself can shout out confidence and friendliness. Or, on the flip side, it can silently show that you’re not so sure about yourself or that you’re not really happy. It’s like a hidden language that everyone understands.
How To Apply?
Stand tall, make eye contact, and use open gestures, smile sometimes, be relaxed overall, have a friendly energy aura around you. It makes you appear more approachable and friendly.
One of the key mistakes you may make: is avoiding eye contact, looking at your phone when someone talks to you, and not being aware of the way you speak which may come off as rude.
How to be mindful of your body language? Talk to yourself in the mirror and see how you behave. Be mindful of your body language.
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7# You Tell Engaging Stories That Has Value.
“Storytelling is the most powerful way to put ideas into the world.”
— Robert McKee.
I admire this quote from Robert McKee. He writes scripts for movies.
He reminds us that storytelling is super important. It’s not just about the words you use, but also about how those words make you feel and imagine things.
When you’re sharing a story, don’t just solely focus on the basic facts only. Instead, also think about the feelings and small things that make your story different and special. Think about the lessons you’ve learned from your story and how it has improved your current life.
One example is to say, “When I went to college, I used to be someone who would wake up without doing exercises, I just go straight to the class. I ended up getting more pain in my body. But now I exercise and I have less pain in my body. As I get older, I realize how important it is to exercise.”
It may not be the most interesting example for you, but I was just trying to prove my point.
However, this simple story still fascinates me as the person comes off as very charming, cause they know how to engage in an interesting story.
How To Apply?
Begin by being true to yourself. Being genuine comes from being open and honest about your vulnerabilities. Don’t shy away from showing your insecurities, uncertainties, or errors during the experience. This will help you build a real bond with your audience because they can understand and connect with your human moments.
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The Bottom Line.
Becoming charming is an ongoing journey that anyone can embark upon.
These seven skills, backed by quotes from notable figures, provide a roadmap for building connections and leaving a positive impact on those around you.
As Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Charming people are relatable, kind, and attentive — qualities that can be cultivated through practice and a genuine desire to connect.
Whether you’re mingling at a social event or having a heart-to-heart conversation, these skills will help you shine.
Start integrating them into your interactions, and watch as you become a source of positivity and connection in every room you enter.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Ivan Kazlouskij on Unsplash