“Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forge.” — G. Randolph
I have found myself in situations where I was backstabbed by people I considered friends. I had grown a certain immunity to that. However, the recent fallout with my friend Daphne really hurt.
Daphne and I had been friends for a little over two years. We bonded over our love for books, particularly fantasy novels.
When she first told me she was interested in writing, I was immediately supportive. I encouraged her to pursue her passion and even read her early drafts.
About eight months ago, Daphne confided in me that she had started seeing someone.
I was happy for her and congratulated her. A few weeks later, she told me that they were getting serious and she wanted to introduce me to him.
I met Daphne’s boyfriend, Nate, and immediately liked him. He was easy to talk to and we shared a lot of the same interests. Over the next few months, Nate and I became friends. Daphne was happy that we got along so well.
A few weeks ago, Daphne told me she was pregnant. She was excited and scared about becoming a mother. I reassured her that she would be an amazing mom and that I would be there for her no matter what.
The next day, Daphne told me she was moving out of state with Nate.
They had been planning it for a while and decided that it was the best thing for their family.
I was shocked and hurt that she hadn’t told me sooner. I would have wanted to organize a grand send-off party for her, as well as a baby shower. I got her a couple of gifts regardless.
It was after she left that I found through our mutual friends out how much she disliked me. Looking back, there were so many telltale signs. I just missed all of them. I hope you do not find yourself in the predicament I did.
Here are 9 Signs That Someone Dislikes You
1. They avoid eye contact.
If someone can’t even look you in the eye, it’s a pretty good indication that they don’t like you.
Daphne would turn her head away when I tried to make eye contact or she would stare at me in an intense, almost aggressive way. It was uncomfortable and made me feel like she was trying to avoid me.
There’s an old saying that “the eyes are the windows to the soul.”
When we meet someone for the first time, we often look into their eyes to try and get a sense of who they are. And when we’re speaking with someone, we usually maintain eye contact as a sign of respect.
But what happens when someone avoids eye contact? It could be a sign that they don’t like you.
There are a few possible reasons why someone might avoid eye contact.
Perhaps they’re shy or feel uncomfortable around you. Or maybe they’re trying to hide something from you. Whatever the reason, it’s not a good sign if someone can’t even look you in the eye.
If you notice someone avoiding eye contact with you, it’s best to just move on.
There’s no point in trying to force a relationship with someone who clearly doesn’t want one.
Instead, focus on building relationships with people who are interested in connecting with you.
2. They don’t smile when they see you.
A genuine smile is hard to fake, so if someone doesn’t smile when they see you, it’s a pretty good indication that they’re not happy to see you. This is especially true if they smile at everyone else but you.
It may seem like a small thing, but it can be really hurtful.
The next time you see someone you don’t get along with, take a close look at their face. Chances are, they won’t be smiling.
In fact, research has shown that people who dislike each other tend to avoid making eye contact and often wear expressions of contempt or anger.
So, if you notice that someone is frequently frowning or scowling in your direction, it’s a pretty safe bet that they don’t like you very much.
Of course, there could be other reasons for their sour demeanor — maybe they’re just having a bad day — but it’s worth considering that they may simply not be very fond of you.
3. They don’t include you in conversations.
If someone is talking to a group of people and they intentionally exclude you from the conversation, it’s a pretty clear sign that they don’t want you there. They may act like you’re not even there or they may make a point of talking to everyone but you. Either way, it’s obvious that they don’t want you involved.
There are few things more frustrating than trying to engage with someone who is openly hostile or who simply ignores you. It can feel like you’re invisible, especially if the person in question is someone you know well, such as a family member or coworker.
When someone deliberately excludes you from conversations, it’s often a sign that they don’t respect you or see you as an equal. This can be hurtful, but it’s important to remember that it says more about them than it does about you.
Instead of fixating on the negative, focus on building relationships with people who appreciate and value your company. These are the kinds of relationships that will be worth your time and energy.
4. They gossip about you.
I did not know that Daphne gossiped about me behind my back until she had moved miles away. If someone is constantly spreading rumors about you or talking behind your back, it’s a pretty good indication that they don’t like you. Gossiping is a form of passive-aggressive behavior and it’s a way of trying to make other people dislike you as well.
There’s nothing worse than finding out that someone is gossiping about you behind your back. It can make you feel betrayed, anxious, and even paranoid.
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do to stop someone from talking about you if they’re determined to do so.
However, there are a few things you can do to deal with the situation in a healthy way.
First, try to take the high road and don’t stoop to their level by gossiping about them in return.
Second, talk to the person directly and try to resolve any issues between you.
Finally, if all else fails, distance yourself from the person as much as possible. By taking these steps, you can protect your mental health and maintain your dignity in the face of negativity.
5. They mimic or mock you.
Mimicking or mocking someone is another form of passive-aggressive behavior. It’s a way of putting someone down. My ex-friend Daphne used to do this a lot. She would imitate the way I spoke or the things I said. It was her way of trying to make me look foolish.
It can be disarming when someone who doesn’t seem to like you starts to mimic or mock your behavior.
It’s easy to feel as though you’re being put down, and it can also be confusing if this is coming from someone who you thought was an ally.
There are a few possible explanations for why someone might do this. In some cases, it may be a sign of envy or insecurity. The person may be trying to copy you in order to feel more like your equal.
Alternatively, they may be trying to undermine your authority by making you look foolish. Regardless of the reason, it’s important not to let this behavior get under your skin.
Responding in kind will only give the other person the satisfaction of knowing that they’ve gotten to you. Instead, stay calm and confident, and remind yourself that this person’s opinion of you is not worth your worry.
6. They give you backhanded compliments.
A backhanded compliment is when someone says something that could be interpreted as a compliment, but is actually an insult.
Backhanded compliments are another form of passive-aggressive behavior. For example, someone might say, “You’re so smart for your age.” or “You dress really well for someone who’s unemployed.”
Or if someone tells you that you’re “so brave” for wearing a short skirt, they might be implying that you’re not usually brave, or that you’re not usually the type of person to dress so revealingly.
These types of comments may seem harmless but they’re actually pretty hurtful.
Backhanded compliments can be hurtful and frustrating, especially if they come from someone who you thought was a friend.
If someone who doesn’t like you gives you a backhanded compliment, it’s probably best to just ignore it. There’s no need to stoop to their level by responding with an insult of your own. Just walk away and don’t give them the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you.
7. They ignore you.
This is probably the most painful thing someone can do if they don’t like you. They pretend you don’t exist and they act like you’re invisible. It’s a way of trying to hurt your feelings and it can be really tough to deal with.
It can be hurtful when someone who dislikes you ignores you.
It can feel like a personal attack, as if they are trying to snub you or cut you out of their life. This can be especially difficult if the person is someone you have to see on a regular basis, such as a co-worker or classmate.
If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few things you can do to cope.
First, try to take the high road and avoid stooping to their level by ignoring them back. This can be tough, but it’s important to remember that they are not worth your time or energy.
Second, talk to someone else about what’s going on — getting support from friends or family can help you feel better and remind you that the person who is ignoring you is not worth your worry. Finally, try to focus on other positive relationships in your life.
This will help you remember that not everyone is like the person who is ignoring you, and that you are surrounded by people who care about you.
8. They deliberately exclude you from social events.
Daphne did this a lot. She would invite everyone in our group of friends to events except for me. It was her way of trying to hurt my feelings and make me feel left out.
Being excluded from social events can be hurtful, especially if it’s someone you thought was a friend. It can feel like you’re being deliberately left out, and it can be tough to figure out why.
There are a few possible explanations.
Maybe the person is feeling insecure and is trying to distance themselves from you. Or, they could be jealous of something in your life and are trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone.
There are plenty of other people in the world who would love to spend time with you, and you don’t need to waste your energy on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
9. They go out of their way to avoid you.
If someone goes out of their way to avoid you, it’s a pretty clear sign that they don’t want anything to do with you. They may cross the street to avoid walking past you or they may make a point of being busy when you try to talk to them.
Either way, it’s obvious that they’re not interested in interacting with you.
When someone dislikes you, they make it very clear.
They avoid you at all cost, never want to be in the same room as you, and will go out of their way to make sure you don’t talk to them. It’s pretty hurtful, especially if you don’t know why they dislike you.
Chances are, there’s nothing you can do about it. So the best thing to do is just try to be nice to them and hope that eventually they’ll come around.
Final Thoughts
If someone is exhibiting any of these behaviors, it’s a pretty good indication that they don’t like you. It’s important to remember that not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. Don’t take it personally and move on. There are plenty of other people out there who will appreciate you for who you are.
If someone doesn’t like you, they probably won’t go out of their way to talk to you or be around you. They may act distant or even avoidant. If you try to engage them in conversation, they may give one-word answers or completely ignore you.
Body language is also telling; if someone faces away from you or crosses their arms when you’re talking, it’s a sign that they’re not interested. Pay attention to these cues and take the hint if someone clearly doesn’t want to be around you.
Chances are, there’s nothing you can do to change their mind, so it’s best to just move on.
And Now Your Thoughts
I want to hear all about your perspective on this topic. Please let us chat in the comments section.
Thank you for reading.
—
This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
***
You might also like these from The Good Men Project:
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock