It’s a pool day in my building, and a group of us girls are taking advantage of it. We’re enjoying a few cocktails and conversation. A young couple and baby make their way over to our portion of the pool.
They’re intrigued by our laughter.
“What are you girls talking about?” asks the husband.
“Oh,” we say. “You don’t want to know. It’s just divorce and dating stuff.”
But he’s funny and interested.
We elaborate.
He soon discovers that a few of us girls aren’t the best daters. We confess to the myriad of reasons behind this. If you’re divorced you may know what I’m talking about.
Starting over again in romance is a little akin to the land of broken toys.
We’re all just putting ourselves back together again…
We’re attempting to fix those emotional boo boo’s.
This man is genuinely intrigued by the woman’s perspective, or lack thereof when it comes to a man pursuing them. We can’t stop laughing and neither can his wife.
He is interested, engaged, and invested in our dating dilemma’s, and our inability, or resistance to meeting the right man.
“You know,” he says.
At this point, all of us girls are intently focused. We lean in to hear his words. He’s won us over with his directness, humor, and sage wisdom thus far.
And then he lets us have it.
“If you’re a terrible customer, it doesn’t matter how great the salesman is.”
Wow!
Funny, profound, and right on the money.
This man wasn’t wrong.
It’s not about the men we’ve been meeting. It’s about each of us girls and where we are on our post-divorce journey. Some of us have been man-shopping before we were completely ready.
And others bought into a man early, and still aren’t ready to exchange them.
We (at least some of this particular group of girls) are terrible customers.
To be fair, I’m exiting terrible customer status, and approaching decent (not yet good) customer status. I might’ve met a guy recently that’s allowed me to give myself that promotion.
I’m inching my way toward readiness.
My pesky divorce boo boo’s aren’t haunting me as much.
Needless to say, we were speechless. It’s a good thing to get hit between the eyes with a proper perspective. And a man’s perspective on dating is also a good thing.
There were no victims.
Not in the dating pool (or actual pool) that day.
Just a lifeguard calling us out.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Szabo Viktor On Unsplash
