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As a child, I was impressed by the clergy who served in my parish community. I dreamt of someday being like them. As an adult, I was able to spend almost 25 years in ministry. At the end of that time, I realized that I had allowed my work to take over my life.
As much as I enjoyed my time in ministry, I know now that I can no longer continue that ministry in a healthy way. This has led me to discover new ways of bringing healing to others.
The Call to Ministry
As a child, I encountered several men who had committed themselves to the service of others. These men manifested generosity, caring, encouragement, and a constant concern for the good of others. The way they lived inspired me to want to follow their example. I wanted, someday, to be like them.
As I grew into young adulthood, I began to pursue this goal. As I drew closer to my goal, I discovered that it was more than just a job I was working towards. Instead, I came to the realization that I could not do anything else which would provide the sense of fulfillment and peace that I would find in ministry. In other words, I knew that there was nothing else I could possibly enjoy as much.
I studied and trained until I was finally able to enter into ministry myself. My lifelong dream had been achieved and I threw myself into all of the work and challenges of ministry. Working with all ages, from children through senior citizens, I strove to be the kind of person that had inspired me in my childhood.
I loved my work and I willingly dedicated myself to the people I served. In fact, I loved my work so much that I began to neglect my own needs and my own health, in favor of being the best minister I could be. As time went by, I surrendered my days off all too often and even failed to take vacations I was entitled to take. I was so involved in taking care of others that I didn’t bother to take care of myself.
The result of this was depression—a depression so severe that I spent six months in inpatient therapy in order to recover. While I loved the work I had done, I realized that I could not trust myself to return to it. I could not take the risk of losing myself in my work again.
Instead, I earned a degree in addiction counseling and began to do that work instead. While many people continue to support the years I spent in ministry, I have learned the invaluable lesson of taking care of myself, not just of others.
A Healthy Life
The way I lived my life has taught me a great deal about myself and my relationship to others. Chief among the lessons is the importance of not finding my self-esteem in what I can do for others. I matter not because of what I can do for others, but simply because of who I am.
As soon as you begin to see yourself only with the eyes of others, you begin to lose yourself. It is vitally important that you recognize your own value, regardless of the opinion of others.
I have also discovered the importance of what is often called self-care. We must each discover those things which bring us joy and fulfillment and make sure we engage in those activities.
For some people it is gardening or landscaping, encouraging the healthy growth of plants. For others, it is reading or writing. Reading may help us to discover new perspectives and new worlds. Writing allows us to express our own vision. It doesn’t matter if anybody else reads what we write, as long as we engaged in the self-expression that is a part of writing. These are only a couple of examples, and each person must discover for themselves what gives them joy and fulfillment.
As we mature, each of us must learn to distinguish between a job and work, and strive to engage in the work they want to do. A job is something we do in order to earn money. People who work in fast food, for example, seldom find fulfillment in their job. It’s something they do to earn the money they need. Work, on the other hand, is something we do, not just to earn a paycheck, but because it matters to us.
Part of growing into adulthood is discovering what we want to do with our lives, what we hope to achieve. A life spent just earning a paycheck can become a drudgery, a misery that grows day by day. Finding something that gives you a sense of fulfillment and doing it is the path to happiness.
Your life matters; you matter. You are valuable and important, no matter what anybody else thinks of you. Do not waste your life just earning a paycheck or seeking the approval of others. Find what matters to you, and make it your own.
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