Have you ever wondered how you stack up against your girlfriend’s ex-lovers? If so you’re not alone.
Almost all men ask themselves this question at some point, but few have the guts to be honest with themselves and truly listen to the answer. We all have a bias mechanism that looks for any and every indication that we’re right and good, while rationalizing, justifying and ignoring any indication to the contrary.
This is why the phrase “am I good in bed?” gets almost 4 times as many Google searches as the phrase “am I bad in bed?”. It’s also why almost 100% of men would say they’re a total stud in the sack while most women will admit that only a small fraction of men are truly great lovers.
One of the most common misconceptions men have is the idea that “women just don’t like sexas much as men.”
The female body is capable of having all kinds of orgasms that men just can’t get – foreplay orgasms, clitoral orgasms, internal (full body) orgasms, anal orgasms, and even nipple orgasms. They can also have multiple orgasms during a single sex session.
Bottom line, women can gain a lot more pleasure from sex than men.
Sadly, most women never get to experience that pleasure because guys just don’t know how to give women these types of experiences. The average guy struggles to get his woman turned on, he finishes, rolls over and goes to bed.
Imagine getting into bed with your woman and fooling around, but you never got to orgasm because every time you got hard, she orgasmed, rolled over and went to bed. Think that might be frustrating? Hell yes it would!
Sadly, that’s the reality for a lot of women. Fortunately, there are ways that she will hint to you that something needs to change.
Watch out for these signs that she’s dissatisfied in bed:
- She doesn’t initiate sex
- She is hesitant to reciprocate foreplay
- She bosses you around in bed
- She’s less interested in sex than she was in the beginning of your relationship
- She makes excuses to get out of sex (headache, tired, etc.)
Interestingly, society would have you believe all of this is normal. Unfortunately it’s really common for women to be dissatisfied in bed, so it’s hard to tell something is wrong when it seems that this has become the norm.
For comparison, take a look at these signs that she’s LOVING sex:
- She initiates sex more then you
- She enjoys foreplay on both sides and is ready and willing to try new things
- She enjoys doing nice things for you (giving you a massage, cooking you dinner, etc.)
- She never nags or bugs you about little things
- She gets WILD in bed
So what’s the big difference between guys in the first group, and guys in the second?
I think it can be summed up into one simple phrase: Know-how.
Guys in the second group know how to give a woman the most pleasurable sexual experiences possible, and never stop learning how to make it better.
And that’s exactly what I encourage you to do.
So if you want to be “the best she’s ever had,” take a step back to find out if you’re REALLY satisfying her in bed. If not, it’s time to make some changes.
Originally appeared at YourTango
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Photo: FlickrCC/Sean McGrath