I keep hearing this argument from men whenever sexual harassment is discussed:
“Why wouldn’t you be flattered if someone came on to you? I would.”
First of all, there’s a difference between coming on to someone and physically invading someone’s space. Beyond that, there’s a difference between coming on to someone and coming on to someone for the 100th time after 99 rejections.
There’s a single argument though, that is more powerful than any other.
It’s really funny that if you ask most men if they’ve ever been sexually assaulted, they’ll say no. For some, this is because it’s simply too shameful to admit. Many others simply never make the connection between what they’ve experienced and the term “sexual assault.” Most men have had guys (usually in high school or middle school) pull a “credit card” or a “thumbs up” on them. Plenty have actually been sexually violated by older men. Those men usually have no problem understanding a woman’s position. If you’ve never had any of these experiences, I invite you to use your imagination.
All you have to do is ask a man driving a 2500 series truck what he would do if another man grabbed his ass. The answer is usually something like “I’d stick his head in this here car door and keep slamming it until he quick moving.”
Now you have an idea of the intensity of revulsion women have to being groped at work and in public.
Now imagine some big, hairy, heavy-breathing guy pinching your behind at the zoo and then saying: “Hey man, what’s the problem? You should be flattered!”
If you’re a heterosexual man, there is zero chance that you’re going to be flattered. There’s a 100% chance that what you’re thinking in that moment, under the waves of rage flowing through you, can be summed up in this statement:
“Why should I feel the way you would like me to feel?”
You have a right to not go through experiences like that. If you do, you have a right to not have your objections thrown back in your face. Please, my friend, remember that every woman, no matter how much you want her, has that same right. Please respect it.
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You may also like by Michael Jones:
Smokescreens
Zeal
Gaslighting: How Narcissists Manipulate Your Thoughts
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