There is something incredibly satisfying about being submissive to a confident, masculine man.
He is a man worthy of admiration and respect.
He is not a self-obsessed narcissist nor a merciless tyrant. He is a stable and confident leader who knows when to humble himself. He is constantly striving for self-improvement. He is able to admit when he is wrong.
But most of all, he provides safety, security, and stability for the woman that he loves.
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Women are accustomed to being in “fight or flight” mode.
To get by in this world as a woman, there will be many instances where you have to fight twice as hard.
Whether in the workforce, social situations, or the dating scene, there are many instances where women have to be “on guard” in ways that men do not.
(This isn’t to say that all men have it easier in society — there is a nuanced discussion for another day.)
Regardless, women who value themselves do not settle for disrespect from their male counterparts.
For the woman who knows her worth, there is no bigger turn-off than a man who does not respect her.
She knows to be on her guard, actively preventing herself from getting hurt.
She will be well accustomed to the games men play, the lies of a smooth flirt, and the immaturity that comes with non-commital men who just want some bedroom action.
She will be used to defending herself from all of it.
She may be single for a long time, reminding herself that it’s better to be single than settle.
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When a man of character comes along, everything is reversed.
Rather than constantly being on guard, she will find herself slowly opening up to him. She will recognize that he brings more than immaturity, empty words, or manipulation. She will begin to see that he is safe.
That is, a safe place for her to be vulnerable.
When she meets a man who is worthy of her respect and trustworthy enough to lead her, she will want to let him.
Fighting is exhausting. Guarding your heart and body for damn near every second of the day is exhausting.
After many months or years of doing so, all she wants is a safe place to rest. To exhale, to relax.
Once she finds herself in the arms of a man who keeps her valued and protected, it will become her safe haven.
Submission and vulnerability go hand in hand.
What these both have in common is trust.
In order to willfully submit to another person, you have to trust them.
You have to trust that they have good intentions and are competent enough to make wise decisions. If not, you will never feel safe enough to release control.
For the strong, independent woman who is used to constantly being on guard, a man she can truly be vulnerable with is a breath of fresh air.
Being able to rely on someone else is such a relief for those of us who are used to only being able to trust ourselves.
In order to earn a woman’s trust, a man needs to demonstrate over time that he is capable of leading. That he is capable of taking charge and making decisions so that she doesn’t have to.
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Final thoughts
After an extended period of time in “fight or flight” mode, being able to finally relax and feel secure is a strong, independent woman’s dream.
When a man provides this, he becomes her safety and she becomes his strength.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean? | My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence |
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Photo credit: Joshua Earle on Unsplash