Part of your brain replays a version of memories on a constant loop. It’s always going, like an endless video loop.
Just imagine your favorite device replaying the same movie, video or TV episode again and again, forever. That’s the only thing you can watch.
That certainly sounds like the definition of maddening. However, over time, you would tune out this is happening and it would just be a background noise.
At the same time, it would influence your every decision. Because of the volume and intensity, it could easily shut out the good options and growth.
According to a recent article in Science and Scientific American, that’s not far off from how some brain components work. They literally replay a memory or event thousands of times, in our waking and sleeping times.
This memory could be a useful memory, or a trauma. It could be “made up” or “real” — this part of the brain doesn’t tell the difference. It just replays.
These memories then heavily influence our new thoughts and experiences, greatly shaping how we take them in.
We can begin to accept these formed beliefs as fact and easily get stuck in their quicksand.
Stop for just a second. Breathe.
You created this pattern — conscious of it or not — and you can create another pattern.
Thank your brain for doing it’s job. This pattern can serve a great purpose in protecting you and it’s really trying to help, not make you mad.
Now, please remember — you.
You are bigger than your thoughts. You are a capable being.
Yes, life probably handed you all sorts of limitations and seemingly impossible things to overcome. For most of us, it’s easy to name that list. Our brains are great at replaying it.
At a camp I went to as a kid, we had an exercise where we named all the things we were “not”. “I’m not an astronaut… I’m not good at math… I’m not good making friends… I’m not good at sports…” Pretty soon, we were all tied up in “nots”. Before we even attempted something, we had decided we were not something.
Let’s untie them (or not use them)!
While it will take some effort and practice, you are absolutely worth it. Spend a little energy every morning and night on one gift you have — one thing you are good at. Spend five minutes thinking about that gift.
Now, do know that some “nots” will come streaming in when you do this. “Oh I’m not that good. Or, but yeah I’m also bad at this.” Thank them for their concern, and ask them to take a 5 minute break. They can come back later if they want.
For now, go back and focus on 1–2 things you are good at, big or small. You clearly have survived and overcome hard things, there’s one right there. You can always start there. Another can be that you are open to the possibility of new, positive change.
You can train your brain to replay the positive as much as the negative, and shape your beliefs, outcomes and happiness. There can be fear in letting go of old beliefs. They become comfortable, even if they aren’t as useful. Tell them you’ll call on them again if you really need them, and thank them for helping.
At times, to do this process, you’ll certainly need help or a boost. Along with mental health and physical health professionals, look to anything that helps you feel calm and strong. This usually involves some diet and exercise (ever heard that before?) and you may consider other options to help you regulate, find peace and power.
You are worth it. You are worth your great life. You have the power and skills to make it happen, and others are looking to help you.
You’ve got this!
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Previously published on medium
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Talk to you soon.
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