Can Virgins Even Date in 2026?

“Why is him being a virgin such a problem?” — I ask.

She says, “It’s not that. It’s just that, how come he has never had a serious partner before?”

You might ask who she is. Well, she’s my childhood friend, and as always, I am here listening to her dating life.

“Well, did you ask him?”

She says he just didn’t have any interest.

I wonder what that even means.

Then she takes a sip of her coffee. I am here looking outside the cafe window. There’s an old couple going by, and I wonder what it is really like to have someone other than your family to be with you forever.

I am not exactly foreign to the concept of having a boyfriend, but having never lived with one, I always keep asking myself if I would ever want that.

I grew up with two brothers, so to say the least, I find the existence of men nothing short of gross and annoying. This has nothing to do with the fact that I might give my brothers my kidney, but their existence isn’t exactly a pleasant one.

To me, a person who absolutely hates people being in my personal space and loves having me-time, I don’t know how it would feel. Sure, it would be nice, awesome in fact, to get a warm hug after a long day or share that hot chocolate and blanket on a winter night.

But we all know no relationship is perfect, and that phase may not stay forever. And the whole fear of failing and eventually hating the existence of the person you love isn’t exactly something I was prepared for.

“Ah, idk, this whole relationship thing is exhausting,” she says.

“Yep,” I agree.

Yet why do so many of us keep trying and craving for it just as much?

And to people who have always dated, the concept of someone who has never done so can feel like keeping a blank photo frame beside someone’s bed. You don’t know the story behind it, but you immediately wonder why it’s empty.

It makes us think, why not? What exactly went wrong for you? Or is it that something is wrong with you?

Absurd, right?

Just how easy it is to point fingers over a single sentence. Someone being different, whether it’s right or wrong, doesn’t matter. It will still be looked at with suspicion.

Why?

Because if you aren’t the sheep following along, you gotta be a wolf.

And as much as we humans evolve, we still have the tendency to look at things from a negative perspective. Survival of the fittest is what we call it, after all. It is the very reason we have evolved to what we are today.

If you’re a virgin, why?

If you aren’t one, so you sleep around?

Mind you, this isn’t gender specific.

If you’re a virgin, people wonder why.
If you aren’t, they wonder how many.
If you’ve never dated, something must be wrong.
If you’ve dated too much, something must also be wrong.

Does never having slept with anyone really warrant the assumption that they don’t want something serious? Or does it mean they’re waiting for their something serious?

I’ll leave that to personal interpretation.

To me, a relationship has more been about peace and mutual respect. If you can have these two, I believe it is very easy to live with a person, be it for months or decades.

Love may fade, the butterflies may disappear, the novelty may wear off, but the willingness to keep showing up for each other can remain.

Some people find being in a relationship hard, but if you’re with the right person, it just feels like something that was always supposed to be this way.

You being together. You getting married. Having those kids you want to look like each other. Maybe a pet. Growing old together — It’s a given.

Some people like sex before marriage. Some wait for it. What really is there to overthink about?

All that matters is that your partner feels the same. So choose someone who will also choose to respect your decision, whichever one it is.

And as for my friend?

Well, she will be going on that date soon.

So, good luck to her.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.