Dear Object,
When I met you, I knew I would mold you into what you needed to become. You have no thoughts, no heart, no story, no dreams, and certainly no boundaries now that you are mine whether you agree to this or not. I have needs, you will fulfill them, and that will be the point of your existence.
I cannot control you to my liking through an honest relationship so I will resort to uncertainty instead. I will scream and slap you when you displease me. Will it grow into something physically worse or is it just an empty threat to keep you in line? To be decided. While you are evaluating what I am capable of, I will search you for your weakest points and plot how to use them against you. Oh, have you been fond of this person? If you continue to even think a positive thought towards them and I find out, that person will become the next you or worse. Do you enjoy going to this place? I will find ways to cut you off so that no one will remember you exist much less listen to you. You will not have friends. No.
I want you fearful enough to submit, but not fearful enough to ask for help and drag me out into the light.
When I am kind to you I will tell you there are no strings attached, but then I will guilt you over ever thinking such a selfish thought of yours could be true.
If you dare call me manipulative, I will call you manipulative right back. I will take something I imagined and project it onto you as if it were yours. After all, you are the one with the control. You obey me, maybe there is peace. You disobey me, you will pay. That is your control.
You think there is better company than mine? Find out how much nobody else wants you. I am the only good thing that will ever happen to you. That’s a promise.
Peace out,
Control
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This post has been republished to Medium.
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All of this sounds so familiar. When I was 7 years old my divorced mother angrily said to me, “If you think you’ll have it any better at your father’s, you can go live with him.” She used this threat of abandonment to manipulate me throughout my childhood until I was 14 years old, when I finally heard it as a call to freedom. One of the hardest decisions I ever made was to leave, but that decision changed the course of my life for the better.