Let me ask you a question…do you make plans to handle your finances, to take care of your home/children/spouse? Do you make time to get your car in for an oil change? How about prioritizing your pet care? Do you block time to walk your dog?
Of course, you do.
You make the time, or a plan to take these actions. But I’m betting you don’t have a self-care plan.
But we are living a paradox, aren’t we? We are told by other people that we should take care of ourselves, and sometimes, we might even be scolded for not taking care of ourselves. However, when we do carve out those periods to “indulge” we are deemed to be lazy, or told that we are shirking our responsibilities. This is a hard reality on occasion.
Here’s the point: It is not indulgent to be proactive with our mental and physical health. It preserves us. It allows us to keep going and doing and serving. It is imperative that we take part in those conversations and that we promote being advocates of what is good for us.
FYI, this article was born in the Creating Success with a Disability Social Interest Group this past Wednesday. We discovered, sure people are talking about self-care; in fact, it seems to be all the rage in the media…but just about no one is taking the steps to build their self-care plan.
So, let’s take a deep breath together and dive into what elements we need in our self-care plan.
Mindset – We need to take care of our mindsets and ensure that when we are not capable of making decisions, that we have a plan in place. This plan will list out good decisions for you because these will have been decided in advance so that when you are not feeling optimal physically or mentally, you can call upon your plan and know you are advocating for your best self-care. Give yourself options that will assist your mindset to be as positive and grateful as possible.
Pattern – You might read this and wonder what the heck patterns have to do with building your self-care plan, but sometimes, we can get stuck in a rut. That’s why we try to strike the balance between establishing stability and safety and mixing up life enough so that we remain enthusiastic about our lives. Or if we are suffering the doldrums, that we find the excitement we have been looking for to help motivate us. This means exposing yourself to new opportunities that you are stoked about! That’s a super fun part of customizing your self-care plan.
Sleep – If you have an autoimmune disease or a condition that feels better after more and consistent rest, then safeguarding the hours you sleep is a must. More rest can mean fewer flares on the body, less nerve pain, less susceptibility to getting ill, fewer aches and pains in your body, and more stamina to do more for yourself and others. We give sleep a bad rap because it seems like we can do without it until it is critical and we crash. But the fact is that when we nurture our bodies’ needs to recharge and reenergize and heal, we live better lives. Ask yourself if you actually know how many solid hours of sleep you need. How long do you need to sleep consistently without waking up with an alarm?
Nutrition – Snacks and treats are fine every once in a while, but what is the crux of your diet? Do you strive to eat more vegetables and fruits, to eat fewer packaged foods and have fast food only once in a while? Moderation is the key to the success of so many goals. Choosing good nutrition means that you understand the type of fuel that goes into your body becomes your performance expectation. So, if you eat tons of foods low in nutrition, your body will not be able to do as much for you. Do you have a snacking plan for your day? Do you eat one good meal a day? What can you do to take steps in this area? Store healthy snacks in the fridge that are easy to grab. That’s a start. We have to decide what we want and when before we are feeling hungry or desperate.
Hygiene – People who are living with depression/other mental illnesses, entrepreneurs working from home, people who have disabilities, etc., whatever condition makes it challenging to care for yourself hygienically, necessitates a plan. What rules will you have for yourself? I refuse to work under the covers if I am in bed. I make sure that I brush my teeth and shower. And sometimes, if I need a reason to take care of myself, I might plan a live FB video to ensure I am holding myself to my commitments. What are your rules for hygiene? What can you do to follow these rules?
Socialization – This is a vital part of your self-care, especially if you are at home by yourself. When we are isolated, we might feel angry or resentful in our situations. We might be more prone to anxiety or sadness. We might feel tired or sluggish. We are social creatures, even those of us who are extroverts. Yes, we need alone time to recharge, but it is crucial to see a smile in person, to hear laughter, to share a memory. Spending time with other people is a mood booster and it helps us to key into the reason we are alive.
Get up! – I know several people who struggle with depression from time to time and I have asked them what makes the most difference in their life, and what helps them the most with their symptoms. Staying active was high on their list. Maybe go for a walk, run a couple of errands, clean a room in your house. The point is to be active on a regular basis.
Be kind to yourself – When you need to rest, rest. When you need to take a moment to reflect, then do so, but whatever you do, be kind to yourself. Avoid self-recriminations about what you should be doing. You are doing what you should be doing…taking care of yourself.
Take your meds – You know that you were given medication to help alleviate your symptoms and to ensure you can get to work, and handle your responsibilities.
Go to therapy and all your doctor’s appointments – Therapy and mental health meds are shown to work better in combination than alone. Keep your appointments for regular maintenance and to address early any concerns you have.
Share what is working for you with people who can benefit – A huge part of maintaining your health has to do with how you give back to other people. We need to feel like we have a purpose in life. We need to know that our footprint on this planet matters. So, please feel free to let people know what is and is not working for you. You might help them in more ways than you know.
Each self-care plan is individual to every person. These are just some components that were discussed on the Social Interest Call yesterday.
You may have some needs that weren’t covered here. That is the goal of this article, to help you identify what you need, so you can make plans to enable yourself to get it. Remember, also, that it is critical to create your plan as a fallback for those days when you are not feeling up to putting a lot of healthy thought into your care. This is a major reason for the creation of your plan.
When you are not in your right emotional mindset, then you will not make the best decisions for yourself long-term (or short-term). You will panic, choose what is convenient, or justify behaviors. We all do this. Having a plan helps you to avoid these situations.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
Hillary – Exactly! We all have to learn to love ourselves. At least that’s the space to start. Awesome article.