I’ll cut to the chase. We all know how hard dating is nowadays. No need to hear that statement hundred times.
Singles are done with dating apps and 2023 isn’t looking hopeful either for them. New year yet the same old sick games people pull on modern dating.
No wonder people get more comfortable with the thought of spending the rest of their lives alone.
But what if you still want to put yourself in the dating pool but don’t want to make it harder than it already is?
Here is some practical advice you may want to follow:
Delete that dating App the moment you’re so desperate for a partner
For a reminder, 50% of people who tried dating apps has mentioned their experience weren’t so positive. Even if you’re ready, it still takes luck to make it work.
However, the more desperate you are for a partner, the higher chances you’ll attract the wrong person.
That’s why there’s this saying; “ best thing happens when you least expected it”. I know it’s true because it happened to me during my single years too.
Before swiping and going on dates, you need to check in with yourself on how secure you are. It’s your job to make sure you’re ready to date.
Set your intention clear. Let’s ditch that “go with the flow” anymore in 2023 because that only means you let anyone decide what’s best for you.
I’ve seen many people break their own hearts every year by making the same mistakes. It’s easy to blame it on other people but really, at the end of the day, your dating life is your own responsibility.
That’s why it’s never a good idea to put yourself in a dating pool when you aren’t in the right mental state. Delete that Tinder or Bumble once in a while.
It’s OK, those Apps won’t go anywhere.
Take rejections with a grain of salt
Back in the old days, people are more straightforward in dating. They don’t give you empty hopes and ghost you the next day.
Now that’s what people do because they think they have plenty of options to choose from. Ghosting people feels like a breeze.
That’s why if you put too many feelings upfront, you’re done done.
The best approach in modern dating has always been this: not investing too early in a relationship that you aren’t sure of.
This attitude will make you feel more confident that if things don’t work out, you’re still fine. You don’t take rejections personally and are ready to move on as soon as possible.
Because what’s the point of crying over one guy who doesn’t even give a damn about you? That’s 6 months wasted there.
No excuses for red flags
You found the guy has lied to you? Cut him off.
Did he disrespect you in public? Delete his number immediately.
He took days to reply but was always active on social media? A big red flag and don’t bother talking to him again.
The earlier you notice the red flags, the easier it is for you to run away. I’m not saying you should focus too much on it, but just don’t act like nothing happens when clearly it’s there.
Find it hard to just cut things off? Don’t invest all your energy and time in one person — especially when the relationship is too early.
There’s a reason why some experts advise you to not put all your eggs in one basket. The purpose is to make it easier for you to let go of what seems to be the wrong relationship.
You’re enough — despite all of the flaws
Some people refuse to be in the dating pool because they feel insecure. Be it with their body or they think they need to fix their issues first.
They see it as if it’s on them that they can’t find a partner. While in reality, it’s always 50:50.
It’s not fair to put that pressure on yourself. Imagine having to lose weight, have a certain amount of money, and be more good-looking first before you start dating.
Of course, it’s a good thing to make a change but only if you genuinely want to do them for yourself.
I don’t see any point in trying to drastically change yourself for others. We all live in this social media era where everyone looks perfect and skinny.
But let’s not forget there are real couples out there who’re madly in love with each other despite their imperfections.
You don’t nee
d someone who will look at you as this perfect human being. You need someone who can embrace your flaws and be totally OK with them.
Who are they asking you to be the perfect goddess in the first place anyway?
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Final Thoughts
My single friend who’s in her early 30s told me today that she’s no longer rushing into finding the “one” in 2023.
“I’m open to getting to know someone new but I’ll treat it as a bonus — rather than a goal that I have to achieve.”
And I agreed with her. It’s like telling the universe that you’re open to dating but isn’t desperate for it.
I always find people with that mindset end up in a healthier relationship — compared to those who like to rush things out.
What’s your dating mantra in 2023? Let’s share!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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