Gena Raymond’s print-and-cut guide on how NOT to be an asshat to single people over the holidays.
Dear Coupled/Married People,
This holiday season, give your single friends the gift of being left the hell alone! I don’t dread going to holiday parties because I’m single; I dread going to holiday parties because YOU dread being single! Please work that shit out on your own time! I just want to eat, drink, dance, chat, and be merry (things I usually do anyway). So please stop killing my holiday party buzz! Now let me drink my Ponche de Crème (Trinidadian eggnog) in peace!
Oh, this applies to asking me about having kids, too!
Just in case, I was unclear…
- Ask me about my career
- Ask me about my hobbies
- Ask me about my accomplishments
- Tell me any information about yourself you care to share
- Let me choose what information I’d like to discuss with you
- Respect my boundaries if I choose not to discuss something
- Ask me personal questions about my love life unless I’ve indicated I want to go there with you
- Give me unsolicited advice
- Try to set me up with random people I have nothing in common with
- Feel sorry for me (Really? I have to say this?)
- Be surprised if I walk away from you midsentence if you don’t respect my boundaries
Single people, if you run into any relationship-obsessed folks who haven’t had the pleasure of reading the letter above or letting it sink in, here’s a nifty little cheat sheet you can take with you to your next holiday event. Feel free to customize it! It works well for other times of the year, too!
Hopefully, this holiday season we can all respect each other’s choices and have a jolly, old time!
This post was inspired by the annoying (yet lovable) people in my life and by this brilliant idea by Arianna Simon!
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Photo: Flickr/Matt E