It seems to me, more and more these days, that nuance is lost in nastiness, rejection is preferred over reflection, and when it comes to taking sides, the only place to be is where others have already set up camp and installed working WiFi.
Nonconformity might not be dead, but the idea of taking the “road less traveled” (especially without GPS) is on life support. For this I place more than a bit of blame on social media, where posting content that goes against the grain of popular opinion is akin to walking into a mine field with magnets on the bottom of your boots. On Twitter, as just one example, voicing a differing stance (in 140 words or less) on a trending topic is an invite for ridicule, bullying, even threats of violence. As a result, I believe there are less mavericks in our world, fewer folks who present a contrary slant to an issue, and even fewer who don’t reverse course and apologize afterward when the scorn comes raining down.
Now sports, which I am pivoting toward for this column, has long been a bastion for the “pat answer.” Long before the internet came into play, athletes, particularly on the professional level, usually answered reporter questions in the most mundane way possible. Pat Dabel, in the article Point of the Game, calls this “Athlete Speak” – giving a “non-answer answer.” Dabel explains: “It sounds like an answer, but has absolutely zero content. Now these answers evolve for reasons. First, no athlete wants to call out or publicly insult teammates or members of the other team. Athletes have to play every day with each other. Real problems are hashed out in private. Second, no athlete wants to give the other team motivation for a game or insight into a team’s problems. In pro sports, athletes will move across several teams and no player wants to alienate or insult someone who may be a teammate next week or next year.”
Times, though, are a changing. Increasingly, athletes are lending vocal support and leadership to social justice movements (i.e. Colin Kapernik), or standing against power for what they believe (Kyrie Irving and vaccine mandate). However, most still keep thoughts and feelings to a minimum, especially when the topic is their teams or their performances.
But now and again a player in the spotlight will let the cloak down and say something about themselves not easily digested by sports media, something which demands thought and analysis. Unfortunately, thought and analysis is not something valued in this fast-twitch (and send) world. Unless, of course, what the player said can be turned into “click-bait” – something quick and easy that will attract online interest and sharing.
And so it was with an exchange not long back, late in the NBA regular season (the playoffs are currently winding down), when Russel Westbrook, the mercurial and muscular point guard of the Los Angeles Lakers, took offense at being asked at a press conference if he “envisioned the team having a better season.” For quick context, Westbrook joined the Lakers this year with the idea that his significant skills and experience would add to their current stars – Lebron James and Anthony Davis – to produce a championship-caliber squad. However, this was far from the case. Injuries, chemistry issues, and other setbacks turned the Lakers into a mediocre, sub-500 team.
Westbrook was being singled out for much of the blame, and, perhaps, this is why he didn’t play the game in the press conference that night, didn’t give the reporter doing the asking what he expected, or even wanted, the standard response to such a query, i.e. “I am always playing for a championship.”
Instead, Westbrook glared back and repeated the question:
“What did I envision?”
And the reporter responded:
“I would imagine some wins.”
At this, Westbrook went deep, explaining, in essence, that he never went into a season with expectations, but rather put his focus on hard work and team building, trusting the process and whatever result will come. And this went viral. Well, not everything, , just that he didn’t go into a season eyeing the grand prize. Many in sports media, particularly those on the radio, went into stammering fits about this attitude, labeling Westbrook a defeatist, someone accepting of mediocrity, even morally, when it came to athletics, bankrupt. It affirmed in their minds that Westbrook was, indeed, the source of the problems befalling the Lakers.
But I disagree. I believe Westbrook’s mindset is the best one to take at the start of any undertaking, small or large. Jason Kurtz, a leading psychoanalyst, an award winning playwright, author of the memoir “Follow The Joy”, and my wingman on many a column, also defends Westbrook’s outlook. Jason states:
“In general, having expectations is like deciding we want to be disappointed in the future. If we expect the party to be great, and it’s only okay, we will be disappointed. If it’s terrible, then we’ll be terribly disappointed. And if it’s great, it will only fulfill our expectations. On the other hand, if we take Westbrook’s approach, and we go into situations with an open mind, then the bad party will only be a bad party – we won’t be disappointed on top of it. If the party is simply okay, we’ll be okay with that because we won’t have set ourselves up with an expectation that it should be better. And if it is great, then we’ll be even more excited about it than if we had expected this result in the first place, because we’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
Jason continues:
“People often feel threatened when someone suggests that they way they habitually do things may not be the “best” or “right” way to go about things. When Westbrook explains that he doesn’t have expectations, when he says he likes to have an open mind, he’s suggesting that it may be better for other people to go into situations with an open mind, rather than a pre-determined expectation of what they want/hope to happen. If he’s right, then many of the people who are listening are tacitly being encouraged to reassess whether they should have expectations and this is challenging and intimidating. Feeling challenged can make someone feel uncomfortable, even defensive, which can lead them to attack. However, feeling challenged can and should lead us to assess the feeling, consider the opposing point of view, and possibly lead us to redefining our own position. This is how we grow and learn. It’s sadly something many people seem to have forgotten.”
As I finish this column, the NBA playoffs are heating up, series are being completed, and the finals round and the crowing of the season champ is not far away. And while Russell Westbrook is not part of the action, I bet he’s at peace with himself, with his life, and looking forward to not looking forward in the year ahead. I’m rooting for him.
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Erik Drost on Flickr under CC License
My daughter (and John McCaffrey’s friend) Cara Erdheim Kilgallen, won the ladies nationals in figure skating in 2006. Prior to her event, her coaches never spoke to her about winning, who the other skaters would be nor how the judges would view her skating. They focused on one issue, Cara’s skating. They, Cara and her coaches, understood that Cara could not control any other variable beyond her performance. And furthermore, focus on these non controllable issues, would vitiate her quest for skating excellence. John, in his exquisite and insightful article, shared that Russel Westbrook, when asked about his team’s upcoming… Read more »