There is an art to feeling confident at social events and it involves giving rather than getting.
Meeting new people is never easy, and dating as an adult can be difficult when you’re single and don’t know how to put yourself out there.
Learning how to meet new people and attract men doesn’t have to be complicated, however, and there are simple ways to improve your communication skills and make it easy to start dating again.
The trick is to better your communication and get the law of attraction to start working for you. After all, what you put out into the dating world is what you’ll get back!
For example, are you going to a party and don’t know anyone? This is either a disaster ready to happen or a great opportunity; it’s all in how you approach it. Do you want to tune-up your social skills and potentially make friends?
Introducing yourself to new people without feeling awkward is an exercise and it’s all about attitude.
It’s important to see this event as an opportunity to meet new people, possibly make friends, and get stronger at presenting yourself. This will give you the chance to attract men into your life and put your days as a single woman behind you.
Get clear on your intention when you go out and meet people. Is this about them liking you or you liking them and, in the process, strengthening your social and communication skills?
What’s it going to be? Having a clear intention sets the tone and ultimately determines your success in who you’re attracting, so how do you intend to go about this?
Then, when you get out there and begin, you’re going to put one simple communication skill into action when you meet someone new: You’re going to “give” your friendship to them.
Here is a story to clarify: Years ago, when I was entering the singles’ world, I loved to go to singles’ dances. In the beginning, I didn’t know anyone, so I set the intention of speaking to at least five new people at each event.
I would introduce myself simply. “Hi, I’m Jean. Are you new here? How long have you been dancing? etc.” I was focused on making that one person feel special. It required curiosity, interest, a smile, and active listening.
There’s absolutely nothing elaborate to that communication skill, right?
What I discovered was that it was easy to engage with people when you focused on their needs, and most people were grateful and relieved that someone spoke to them.
In fact, they were way more tied in knots than I was, and this is probably true of you, too. It was a simple enough exercise to reach out my hand and introduce myself and I made a lot of friends. To frame it so that I would be at ease, I thought of it as “giving” friendship.
The reason this was important is that many people want to get attention and friendship without first giving it and that puts them at a decided disadvantage. Why? Because people tend to avoid a needy person.
Hence, in social situations, someone has to be the giver, and that was me. In truth, the giver has an incredible advantage because there is no neediness in giving. Plus, a person that cares about people and offers unconditional friendship is readily sought after.
Therefore, after making my initial introduction I took an interest in the other person. I gave them interest. Do you know that everyone likes to feel important and speak about himself? Yes! So, help him out. Show interest.
The beautiful truth about letting someone else “shine” is that the attention is not on you. Choosing to make the social experience an exercise to share love, support and friendship shifts the attention to the other person. It is a gift because it gives them a chance to feel loved, cared for and wanted.
When you consider meeting people as a “giving” action, it is fun. That doesn’t mean that everyone will respond to you, but the vast majority will, and they’ll love it, and the few who don’t have issues you don’t need to mess with. Try it; you’ll like it!
This post was previously published on YourTango and is republished here with permission.
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