Some families just seem like they were made for each other while others cannot even look at each other without fighting. Why is it that some people get along so well while others just cannot stand each other? Some experts call this a toxic family situation. But what makes a toxic family? There are many signs that you may have a toxic or dysfunctional family and you may not even realize it.
You Get Anxious When They Come Over
Do you start getting nervous when you know your family is going to be there soon? Does a visit from your parents make you want to run away and hide? If you don’t want to answer the door when you see their car in your driveway, you probably have a toxic family. Whatever it is making you feel that way, it is not a good situation for any of you and you need to do something to fix it or stay away from them.
They Lie to You All the Time
When you ask your wife a question, do you have a hard time believing her no matter what it is about? Is your husband constantly making up lies to make himself seem better than everyone else? Does your brother tell you how much money they are making at work when you know he doesn’t even have a job? This is the time to get them to do some online counseling or just stop listening to their nonsense.
They Always Seem to Get You in Trouble
Do you seem to get into trouble every time you hang out with your brother or sister? Maybe your dad is a bad influence, or your mom drags you along on her crazy adventures that don’t end well. Even if you know you should stay away from them, they are your family and you feel like you have to be nice to them. Don’t do that. Just say no.
They are Disrespectful
Does your mom call you stupid or your dad call you an idiot? Just because they are your parents, that does not mean they can call you names or be disrespectful. It is not okay for your sister or brother to constantly tell you that you are a loser or that you will never be happy. Your wife or husband is not supposed to make fun of you when you are upset about something.
Family is supposed to support you, not bring you down.
You Hide Your Money and Other Valuables When They Are Around
Are you worried that your little sis is going to rob you blind? Do you run and hide your wallet and checkbook when you know your family is coming to visit? If you are afraid to leave them alone in your house for even a minute because they may take whatever they want, it is time to get them some counseling or cut them loose. Or both.
They are Physically Abusive
If anyone in your family is physically abusive, it is essential that you get away from them and stay away from them. Do not try to make things work just because they are family. Whether it is a parent, sibling, or even a spouse, get away and seek counseling immediately. This is a serious issue that cannot be laughed off or ignored. Seek help from someone right away, whether it is a friend or a different relative, police officer, or a shelter. Just get away from them.
You Feel Like They Are Trying to Control You
Do you find yourself having to sneak out to get away from your significant other? Or maybe your sister always insists that you do what she wants you to and only go where she says you can go. Your brother may try to convince you to date who he wants even if you have a girlfriend already. Or take the job he says is right for you although you already have a great job. Time to have a chat with a counselor online.
What You Can Do About It
No matter how you do it, dealing with a toxic family member is not easy. Mainly because they are your family. You are supposed to love and support them no matter what, right? Wrong. Not if they are toxic and do not want to change. But even if they do want to change, know this: it is not your job to change them. You can only help yourself. Tell them they are making you anxious, stressed out, or miserable and that they need to get some help or be cut out of your life. Be strong. Don’t give in just because they cry, beg, and promise they will change.
Talk to Someone
No matter whether you cut them out of your life, or they are getting help to change, you will also need to talk to someone. Being in a toxic relationship with a family member can cause all sorts of mental issues like anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. Contact ReGain.us about talking to a counselor about it. You can do it online and you don’t even need an appointment.
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