A note to readers: I wrote this some time ago and then let it languish in my drafts. But 2023 was the year of Barbie and America Ferrera’s incredibly empowering monologue, the year of Taylor Swift taking the world by storm with the Eras Tour and tour film while single-handedly boosting the economy, and the year of Beyonce’s amazing Renaissance tour and tour film. It was a year when women felt seen, heard, validated, and elevated.
And then there was the Golden Globes where the host took shots at women, undoing and minimizing the work and contribution of women everywhere. While I know that the host isn’t white, his casual misogyny reminded me that I have a platform and a voice. To every woman who he tried and failed to make feel small, please enjoy the following…
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Do you feel frustrated when discussion of cultural appropriation ruins your entertainment? Are you tired of “woke” culture? Do you often complain to your friends and family about the “good old days” when racism and sexism were both funny and/or socially acceptable?
You may have mediocre white man syndrome.
Symptoms May Include:
- An overblown sense of entitlement,
- An exaggerated sense of confidence unrelated to skills, qualifications, talent, attractiveness, or experience,
- Discomfort that results from being educated about other cultures when you just want to have a good time,
- Casual misogyny that manifests in un-funny jokes and/or harassment,
- A view of the world that dismisses any point-of-view that doesn’t look like yours, and
- The immediate dismissal and/or invalidation of any words associated with “woke” culture including but not limited to “privilege”, “rape culture”, “appropriation”, or “misogyny.”
“Daily prayer to combat imposter syndrome: God give me the confidence of a mediocre white dude.” ~Sarah Hagi
I also came across the question What Would a Mediocre White Man Do? in the book The Ex-Talk by Rachel Lynn Solomon. It’s the new WWJD for this generation. WWMWMD might not flow off the tongue, but it’s a valid question. While it’s often phrased in a joking manner, the problem of the mediocre white man is real.
The problem isn’t that he’s a man or mediocre or white.
It’s that the combination of the three can lead to a dangerous sense of entitlement. The world has catered to the average white heterosexual man for too long, and it has nurtured all of the symptoms above. As the culture shifts to become more diverse and inclusive, many of these men are triggered by their discomfort with the changing status quo. It’s a whole new world, and the locker room culture they grew up with just doesn’t fly anymore.
What happens next is a wave of other symptoms including frustration, depression, anger, and even scapegoating others. They need someone to blame — someone to absorb all their anger at a changing world. They often choose a group that they don’t understand, and instead of trying to learn about them, they decide that this group is responsible for all their problems. It’s Archie Bunker syndrome, taken out of comedy and directed at real people in the real world.
But there is a cure!
Learning to adapt to the changing world is one. Opening one’s mind to inclusion, diversity, and changing social dynamics can help. It’s not an easy transition, but it can be done. It just takes a willingness to try to understand and to listen and learn from people who aren’t average, white, male, or straight.
Side effects of this cure could include the following:
- Greater empathy and kindness for others
- A deeper understanding of systemic oppression
- The unpacking of social privilege
- Some discomfort as old ways are confronted, and
- Less stress as the world stops being a terrifying place and fills with equal opportunity instead.
Embracing “woke” culture isn’t about jumping on a societal bandwagon. Instead, it’s about growing as a person and learning that the world doesn’t revolve around heterosexual white men. This is why representation of other cultures and identities in mainstream media is so important.
If you or someone you love is a mediocre white man struggling with woke culture, please seek help immediately.
Follow accounts that promote diversity and inclusion, read books by people who don’t look like you, and embrace the idea that a world filled with diversity is more beautiful than what you remember as “the good ol’ days,” which were truly awful for everyone who didn’t look like you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Timothy Dykes on Unsplash